Savvy Raj

Live Life Lovingly!


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Gift of Listening

Giving your attention without fear or favour and caring to understand what another is saying, before responding says a lot about the person who is listening…

Here is a true incident…

Viktor Frankl, one of the great psychiatrists of the twentieth century, survived the death camps of Nazi Germany. His little book, Man’s Search for Meaning , is one of those life-changing books that everyone should read.

Frankl once told the story of a woman who called him in the middle of the night to calmly inform him she was about to commit suicide. Frankl kept her on the phone and talked her through her depression, giving her reason after reason to carry on living. Finally she promised she would not take her life, and she kept her word.

When they later met, Frankl asked which reason had persuaded her to live?
“None of them”, she told him.
What then influenced her to go on living, he pressed?
Her answer was simple, it was Frankl’s WILLINGNESS TO LISTEN to HER in the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.

A world in which there was SOMEONE ready to listen to another’s pain seemed to her a world in which it was worthwhile to live.

Often, it is not the brilliant argument that makes the difference. Sometimes the small act of LISTENING is the GREATEST GIFT we can GIVE.

How can we choose to listen well?

What are the barriers to effective listening? How can we improve our listening abilities.

A few issues in listening well….or what is called Ineffective listening.

Distraction caused by the difference between speaking and thinking speeds in humans. So if the speaker speaks too slowly or too fast, the listeners may lose the plot.

At times the appearance or personality quirks or the environment changes can create distractions.

Distraction also causes the listener to show a lack of interest through body language like in posture of loss of eye contact.

Overcoming distractions requires keeness to improve and interest in personal development as much as a sense of commitment to the task at hand.

Here are a 5 tips for improving listening skills.

1. Restating . Pay full attention so as to be able to restate or paraphrase in your own words every once in a while, what it is that you have heard so as to make the speaker feel listened to.

2 Prompting . Use short and positive prompts by interjecting them in the pauses … to show interest like .. And then ? So ?or I know…

3.Validating .Express your empathy . Show that you understand what another is saying or going through. Acknowledge the issues faced by another or the feelings as they are speaking. It shows you are sincere in your concern.

4.Pausing . Allow for some gaps in the conversation.. it helps buy time to think for both the speaker and the listener . As it helps process the information. Silences are great tools to let go the unnecessary gibberish and loose-ended talks which may be counter- productive.

5.Shifting . Redirecting a speaker when needed by shifting the topic gradually changes the tone of the discussion which can at times get too aggressive or violent for comfort.

There are so many ways that develops the GIFT OF LISTENING .

Have also found that in practise, the art of listening well involves all of our senses.

After all the art of a great conversation lies in the ability to listen keenly and respond well than simply react.

Savvy

Personally speaking I have often been a good listener… yet I must confess that there are a few close friends to whom I have spoken who are such great listeners that they put me at ease.

It is truly wonderful to be listened to as much as to listen. There is so much healing in the listening as much as in the sharing. I take this opportunity to thank those friends and readers who cared to give me a listening ear and time.🙏

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The Gift of Family & Friends

Your true source strength in every living moment!
Friends and families are your circles of protection

What is family?
Relationships that bond through a lifetime
Through the winds of changes
In hopes and hurt
In challenges and conflicts
In confusion and chaos
In the circumstances and consequences…

Healing and helping
Caring and consoling
Being there throw the thick and thin
In support and encouragement
Amidst the pain and pleasures
Of life and living

Families and friends are strength giving
Value and nourish them
Through attention and time.
For only they will stand the test of time
In moments of despair desperation.

And after all what use is happiness With no one to partake the joy?

Keep your friend and families close to your heart.

Savvy


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Power of Human Spirit.

Strength to defy & dare destiny in the face

Of danger destruction and devastation …

Comes from a deeper conviction that creates

Courage to rise beyond catastrophes …

The heart has the capacity to deal

with almost anything … as that is how our life is

wired to cope and heal.

Expressing through Arts is a power within us.

In empathy with care and compassion

It is an act of kindness in realization of the oneness.

That what hurts you is actually eventually hurting me …

Your pain is my pain

In conscious awareness

I can help you heal

Your troubles away in faith

And hope for a better tomorrow for us all.

Savvy Raj


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Walk the path of love

Walk on the path of love

A whiff of love
Roses strewn
The path of love
Beckons you

Tread softly
Gentle is the way
For love is fragile
Treasure a trust that
Beholds you!

Winding along
You feel its intensity
In its passion
Yet you persevere
Be unwavering!

Know love teases
And tests you
Beguiles you
To reveal
Yourself to you!
Be true!

For the journey
Is an eternal walk
Infinite is its path
Be yourself at best!
Be the real you!

For all else sheds itself
Like those petals strewn
To be, at best wayfarers
In the trysts of true lovers!

Savvy Raj


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The other side

A BEAUTIFUL WAY OF LOOKING AT THINGS:

A Father was reading a magazine and his little daughter every now and then distracted him. To keep her busy, he tore one page on which was printed the map of the world. He tore it into pieces and asked her to go to her room and put them together to make the map again.

He was sure she would take the whole day to get it done. But the little one came back within minutes with perfect map……When he asked how she could do it so quickly, she said, “Oh…. Dad, there is a man’s face on the other side of the paper….. I made the face perfect to get the map right.” She ran outside to play leaving the father surprised.

MORAL OF THE STORY:
There is always the other side to whatever you experience in this world. Whenever we come across a challenge or a puzzling situation, look at the other side…. You will be surprised to see an easy way to tackle the problem.

A few musings…

The difference between just looking and seeing is so much in the depth and dimension of expansions in our flow of thoughts .An expansion in our acceptability and flexibility changes the seemingly complex situations to simple solutions .:)

Savvy


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Dance of the Trees

Have you witnessed the trees dance?

Swaying in the winds with soaring spirits

Beckoning the sky to rain some more …

Even a seemingly barren tree

Is full of life and alive in every moment

Ready to spring with a freshness of spirit

Even the dry parched roots, shapes into a new life.

The branches may be dried but trust nature to grow some more

And fill the senses once more

With vibrant hues of leaves in all shades of green.

 

Being a tree is a mighty task

Sheltering and shading every passerby

Giving fruits is a labour of love

Receiving carbon and sharing oxygen

 


And standing rooted to the ground 

In all its natural abundance

For life to spring countless times

With nesting birds and the burrowing bees

 

The spirit of the tree is all heart

Sharing beyond compare

And watch as the world passes it by

In the echelons of time.

 

 

Trees stand the test of time

Of guts and glory upholding untold stories

Letting go the falling leaves in every day

Letting go the fright of loneliness and the pain of loss

 

 

 

Cos it knows the circle of life only too well…

What goes comes around

Like a breath of fresh air and a bud that is ready to spring.

Written by

Savvy Raj

 


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When the heart dances…

When the heart dances

The body moves

The spirit sings

The soul senses

Joy abounds.

It doesn’t matter what dance you love …. what matters is that your heart loves to dance 🙂

Savvy