Management calls for special skillsets but with changing times the skills have much to do with empathy in people management. Every head of department faces different sets of difficult situations but most common to all is getting the work done by the team effectively increasing productivity with the available resources.
You are improving your team every time you incorporate the following ways
1. When you talk less, and are listening more.
2 . When you begin to delegate work to the right team members and increase the sense of responsibility in them.
3.When you are able to speak assertively with confidence and empathy than simply ordering people around.
4. When you are able to analyze and share appraisals to resolve and find solutions in a non judgmental manner.
5. When you are able to steer and guide them in their endeavors without overtaking the joy of effort.
6. When you practising collaborating with your team instead of trying to be the controlling one.
Every team is unique as the people in it and this makes it uniquely interesting to manage as well.
The Sea: .
A professor took his class on a field trip to the ocean. Once at the water’s edge he handed each student a cup. Some were tall, some were short, some were thin, while still others were stout around the middle. No two cups were the same shape and no two cups looked alike.
In addition, every cup was a different color although from a distance you could see that many of the colors could fall into distinct groups. Some had a darker hue and some lighter. The one thing that all the different cups had in common was the amount of liquid they held. Each, to the drop, held identical amounts of whatever was to fill them.
The professor then had each student walk to the water’s edge and fill their cup to the very brim with ocean water and then step back into line. When every student had filled their cup the professor asked them, “What’s in your cup?” Of course, the unanimous response was water. “Yes,” replied the professor, “but what kind of water?” Ocean water yelled the students.
“Good,” said the professor. “Now let me ask you this? What’s the difference between the ocean water in the ocean and the ocean water in your cup?” One young man quickly responded, “That’s simple. The water in the ocean has sea life in it, but the water in our cups is just plain water.” His classmates all murmured in unison because his answer seemed to make sense.
“That’s not quite correct answered the professor. It’s obvious that your cups are not large enough to hold a fish, or a squid, or even a starfish, but there is still tiny life in your cup that can’t be seen. The same life that fills every drop of this ocean no matter what distant shore it falls upon. So wouldn’t you agree that the water in your cup would be identical to the ocean, only on a smaller scale?” From the looks on his student’s faces he could see the beginnings of understanding, and he was pleased.
The professor then went on to explain the message he was trying to convey to his students. “This ocean could be compared to God. Vast, powerful and without end. Loving and nurturing to all the creatures great and small that live within it. The cup is your human body. No two are identical. Each a different shape and color from the others. No one cup is better, more important, or for that matter worse than the others, only different in outward appearance.
Upon your birth God infused you with a small piece of himself. He sees you as his Greatest Miracle, the Greatest Miracle in the world. That piece of him is the spark of life which animates your body. Some may call it the soul, but it needs no name. It is your humanity. It’s what makes you and me the same.
So please remember this: whenever you harm another person, by your words or deeds. Whenever you bully another because you think you’re superior. Whenever you see another human being as less than you. Whenever you show a lack of respect for another, you aren’t doing it to them alone; you are doing it to yourself and to God. You see each of us is God walking around in cups of different colors, shapes and sizes.
And there is something else my students that I want you to know: God makes no mistakes and creates nothing but perfection. Therefore, you are perfect. And never let anyone tell you different! Oh, and one other thing, you were created for GREATNESS and not littleness. The choice is always yours.”
There you are at church. Your baby or toddler is restless. Perhaps even a little boisterous. You try to silence them, and nothing. You try to pacify them with food or toys, and nothing. Eventually, you resort to the last thing you wanted to do: you pick them up, and before a watching audience, you make the march out of the church. All the while you’re a little embarrassed, maybe a little frustrated too. You might even think to yourself, “There’s no point in coming to church. I get nothing out of it because I have to constantly care for my kid.”
I want you – mothers and/or fathers – to know just how encouraging you are to so many. The elderly woman who often feels alone beams with a smile at the sight of you wrestling with your little one. She’s been there before. She knows how hard it can be, but she smiles because to hear that brings back precious memories. Seeing young parents and their small children brighten her day; she may have just received bad news about her health but seeing the vitality of young ones removes – if but for a moment – her fears. The older man who always seems to be grouchy notices you too. He’s always talking about how children in this day have no respect or sense of goodness. But he sees you – a young family – in church every week. Like clockwork, he can depend on the sight of you and your young family. You give him hope that maybe the Church isn’t doomed after all, because there are still young parents who love God enough to bring their restless children to church.
Bring your children to church! If we don’t hear crying, the church is dying. As hard as it might be for you as a parent who’s half-asleep, keep on doing what you’re doing. You are an encouragement, and you’re starting off your children’s lives as you should. – Author unknown
Came across this beautifully expressed piece recently. Was moved to share it here. Have encountered this kind of approach to parenting in many cultures across the world. Not only in churches but where people are silencing self expression in their growing years.
And there is also the other extreme where whatever the child does is ok! That is the other side of the issue in question.
Yes I agree, we must ensure our children are well behaved in society as they grow.We need to help instill good values.
But there are cultures where if a little child speaks out aloud while traveling in a bus for example the mother goes apologizing for the sounds the little kid is making.
Extreme restraint restrictions, repriminding and silencing are negative reinforcements in suppression of self expression.
Yes there are limits to tolerating childrens tantrums, and bad behavior. Teaching them proper social etiquette is part of good nurturing. But controlling even natural things like laughter and speech can become a little too suffocating. What do you think?
Are you free at all then? Isn’t that a little too restrictive. I wonder?
What is life without a little expression.
Life is meant to live and let life live.
Yes there are stark differences across the world in raising children. To each his own.
Lets hope to share the world with them in positive possibilities lovingly.
Chances are they will hopefully treat you just as well in your old age.
Vincent” is a song byDon McLean writtenas a tribute toVincentvan Gogh. It is also known by its opening line, “Starry Starry Night“, a reference to Van Gogh’s 1889 painting
TheStarry Night.
McLean wrotethe lyrics in 1971 after reading a book about the life of van Gogh.
Strikingly poignant.
It touches me every time I hear this song.
Brilliantly picturised on Vincent’s artworks.
The song by Don McLean is poignant yet peaceful in itself.
The mood mellow and sombre.
The truth is stark of reality.
Listen to this evening song
Literally speaks to the depth of our souls
Million thoughts runneth over
Amid the arresting hues of blues.
Until sleep beckons curtains are drawn.
Life poses the questions.
And life seeks the answers.
Poignant is the wisdom that arises in the challenges.
“A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that 1,100 people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.
Three minutes went by, and a middle aged man noticed there was musician playing. He slowed his pace, and stopped for a few seconds, and then hurried up to meet his schedule.
A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping, and continued to walk.
A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.
The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy. His mother tagged him along, hurried, but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally, the mother pushed hard, and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.
In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money, but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.
No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the most talented musicians in the world. He had just played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, on a violin worth $3.5 million dollars.
Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100.
This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste, and priorities of people. The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour: Do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?
One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be:
If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?”
Today’s ever changing corporate environment calls for new kinds of people management skills.
From managing teams to peoples problems and handling customer service,an empathetic approach helps create a positive difference and transform work culture.
So what is empathy after all?
Empathy is about being able to perceive and understand another’s point of view using their frame of reference.
To sense the flow of the moment with another.
To communicate with & be able to understand another’s perspectives insecurities and pain points.
Empathy is a positive approach aimed at improving teamwork and building teams , bridges gaps of communication implementing changes through appreciation, support & encouragement than unnerving others with negativity & criticism that can be rather demoralizing.
Empathy can create and build trust and rapport that you can tap into. In using empathic responses, problems can find meaningful and lasting solutions.
In using empathy with skill, you show respect & value for another.
There is a huge wave of empathy oriented approaches in businesses across the world. This is truly valuable and must be encouraged.
After all empathy is a main contender in a list of skills that show emotional intelligence quotient of an individual.
Can you waltz on ice?
When winters turn grim and cold
Can you create joy and cheer?
Even in moments of melancholy.
Can you see a silver lining of hope?
In the dark dreary night to help you cope
Can you see beauty in every dusk and dawn?
Letting go of fear & doubts in the twilight hours.
Can you instill trust in another & move in faith?
Inspite of not knowing the way as yet.
Can you believe you can lead the way?
Inspite of being in a maze in the now.
Verily you are stable in balance
And you have taken your stance.
Clearly then you are dancing in this moment.
Clearly you are waltzing on ice.
A beautiful post on Germination of Ideas by my dear friend Ali Anani brought me to spring forth with some of my reflections.
Birthing ideas…
Ideas find their own way to germinate
At times they stay dormant almost invisible and untraceable.
And sometimes they emerge out of nowhere
As if they have a mind all their own.
So whether there are plenty of ideas or one is starved of ideas.
It matters not where they originated from…if it is the mind or heart spaces.
But it matters what path they take how they are applied?
What seeds they sprout in the emergence?
And yet, an idea that remains undeveloped, unappreciated today becomes a genius breakthrough someday.
On too much and too less
Too much of liberty and free will
At times may lead to aimless explorations and confusions.
Too less freedom leads to slavery and subjugation.
Too much thinking can create stress and be overwhelming
Too many ideas can be hard to contain.
Too little fodder for thoughts leads to bland existence.
It’s our choice actually…
Are we to live or simply exist?
Is there a paradox of enrichment?
Is overdoing a crime
To answer this, I ask
Is there bad in the good and good in the bad?
Too much of anything will lose its charm and character.
Appreciation declines and contentment reduces.
As it all turns to excess!
So I believe in equanimity that comes in finding equilibrium
Moderation is the key.
Too much sadness is unbearable
Too much happiness may lead to boredom.
For in too much of the good times
Values are lost and things are taken for granted.
Let there be a balance
In thoughts words and deeds
So there is neither depression of deprivations
Nor extravagance in enrichments.
Guess like ideas find their way to shoot in suitable time in time.
Like life itself, ideas also know how to balance and counterbalance themselves in life and living.
Sometimes life gives you beautiful memories where you least expect it from. Or maybe all happens for a reason. We were meant to meet!
A month back, work took me all the way to China. And while some industry visits were happening as scheduled, a small moment of connection and conversation resulted in great joy and camaraderie. Met some very beautiful and loving hearts. We warmed up almost instantly with each other. We shared much about our cultures, our food and traditions. We spoke to each other from the heart all with the help of a translator app. It was such a beautiful flowing conversation. We circumvented language barriers although I spoke in English into the app and them in Chinese. It hardly came in the way. By the end of it what mattered was the joy that emerged. The beautiful moments shared will always be treasured in my heart.
Thankful to the useful translator app that made it so simple. And helped create fond memories of that day!
We can seem totally confident and be raring to go one day and feel completely strained and stressed out on another day.
We are only human and its perfectly ok to feel so.
We don’t have to prove anything to anyone.
It’s our life and we have just this life and this moment with us, if we are not living with joy in our heart then perhaps we have some questions we need to answer for ourselves.
Ask yourself these questions honestly…
Do you dare to be as you are?
Do you express yourself without doubts and fears?
Do you mince words, avoid stepping forward, play too safe
That you hardly dare to live your life?
Do you wear what you like?
Feel comfortable with what you wear
Or choose to conform to fashion trends or what’s expected of you?
Do you eat with all your heart?
Do you binge or fast in guilt or insecurity?
Or do you care to nourish and nurture yourself with food?
Do you check your weight?
To be sure you are in a healthy range.
Or do you find yourself too often on the scales, almost every day?
Do you dare to speak your mind,
To voice what’s in your heart.
Or shut up in fear of ridicule, of what others will say?
Do you measure your words to talk
In fear of being judged or criticized.
Or…to be the best version of you.
Are you happy in your skin
Do you care about your appearance
To the extent that it ruins your day
Or to feel good for yourself.
Remember you are most beautiful when you wholeheartedly accept the way you are.
Do you wake up because you have to?
Or do you have the joy of waking up…
To a new dawn in the hope of possibilities.
Make this moment special the best you can as you are.
Remember every moment in every day is a challenge
It sometimes gets easier or even tougher in the ups and downs.
Savvy Raj 