Savvy Raj

Live Life Lovingly!


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5 Tips on Anger Management


A story share on Anger Management

There was a saint, who was never affected or angry at anyone, how much ever anyone ill treated or insulted him.

His disciple was intrigued by this nature and wanted to know the secret of his calmth.

When he asked the saint, the saint patiently explains how he conquered his anger.

“I had this long time habit of meditating while sitting in an empty boat on a lake. While doing so, once when I was in deep meditation suddenly another boat hit my boat . I was so angry to know who was so careless to disturb my meditation. But when I opened my eyes in anger I saw an empty boat which was moved by the blowing wind and hit my boat. I realised my anger was unaimed as it was an empty boat .

So when ever I get angry I remembered it n think this is an empty boat too and became quiet.

Our anger affects us in 3 ways.

1.It affects our wisdom
2.It affects our body
3.It affects our behavior.

Now you know the secret of my calm nature.”

The truly strong person is not the one who controls others by physical strength, but the one who can control himself from his anger.

This simple story elucidates  the necessity of  self reflection and awareness  of the negative effects of anger on oneself  as much as others.
Anger is often a result of frustration and feeling blocked . The reactions  can escalate out of control in time.

Uncontrolled Anger ruins life and living.

Anger is  damaging  and destructive.

It is important to  break free from its vicious cycle.

Here are 5 tips for breaking free of Anger cycle.

1. Taking some ‘ me time out ‘ everyday.

2.Thinking before Speaking 

3 Practicing Forgiveness & Letting go.

4 Using Humor to Diffuse Tension

5 Using Relaxation Methods for Calming

There is a need to acknowledge  anger patterns and work on the triggers that affect. So more than prevention by suppression it is better to understand  the loss of control  of words and actions and channelize it well.
Like a  little time out for self  could be about engaging  in physical exercise,  dancing , music  gardening, any hobby or reading a book,  regular meditation or simply witnessing nature .
All are very helpful in bringing back a sense of balance in our perspectives of thinking and creating  a space between  our steps.🙂

Always remember, it is important to know it is completely ok to seek professional help to manage anger when it is affecting our life and the lives around us.

Savvy

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Life is calling

Life is calling
Whatever we are meant to create, collaborate, to do or accomplish with our lives… we will.

All of us meet with different facets of envisioning.
And as we move on to connect we take in different aspects of understanding.

Our life is changed & continues to change
In every intersection of interaction
Sometimes it’s a feeling, a thought.
At times it’s a drive so full of intentions.

Life is meant to churn out the truth of it’s own existence
It is meant to evolve in the changes.

So important to know the value of every life.
The power of every contact
The force of nature in every connection
That leaves imprints for posterity.

Each exchange, every dialogue
Every word, every letter
Is energy unleashed with emotions
The intentions carry them through.

Value the intuition you sense
In every connection
The purpose clarifies itself to you.
Every life is meant to make a difference
To someone somewhere
It could be you.

Savvy


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Colour of emotions.

If emotions were tubes of colours
The way we paint every day
The way we live our lives
The way we think and express
Our own experiences in being.
Will be a riot on the canvas.

Envisioning in the seeing…
Flashes of brilliance in bright yellow
Of optimism and cheer
Sporadically surging joy and ecstasy.

Going green in connectedness
Contented lines flowing in trustful acceptance
Or moves markedly hesitant in fear and apprehension.
Arresting artistry of living life in loving kindness

Explosions of reds marking anger
Or in delusions of grandeur in aggression.
In ingenious masterstrokes in fits of rage
Of imagination running wild.

Colour of Purple in projecting pride.
Of passionate perseverance to detail
Or a certain aloofness in respectful reservation.
A sense of ascension and royalty.

Shades of blue in thoughtful flow and serenity
Or organic spaced out zenful zones
Of mindful movements in the making.

Yes there is an emotion in every colour
As colours are but tools of expression
Of the ever changing moods of man
How colorful is the spirit of our soul.

Every colour plays a significant role
Like in the wheel of colours
So are emotions that appear
In the wheel of life.
Each plays it’s part.
All matters to the whole.

Savvy


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Trusting the trysts with truth

As we dance through the apparition of appearances

Of assumptions in the amalgamation.

All that is real may be an illusion

All that we believe to be is perhaps real.

And our tryst with the truth…

Continues…

Savvy Raj

Evey rememberance has it’s own take of perspectives…

Today reading another poem by a wonderful fellow blogger Didi, and I remembered this para from my earlier poem Tryst with the truth.


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The Wisdom of Silence

The Silent Retreat

Four monks decided to meditate silently without speaking for two weeks.

They began with enthusiasm and no one said a word the whole day.

By nightfall of the first day, the candle began to flicker and then went out.

The first monk blurted out, “Oh, no! The candle is out.”

The second monk said, “Hey! We are not supposed to speak!”

The third monk said in an irritated voice, “What is this? Why did you two break the silence?”

The fourth monk smiled and said, “Wow! I’m the only one who hasn’t spoken.”

Reflections:

Each monk broke the silence for a different reason, each of which is a common stumbling block in our inner journey: distraction, judgement, anger and pride.

The first monk got distracted by one aspect of his experience (the candle) and forgot what was more important – the practice of witnessing without reacting.

The second monk was more worried about others following the rules than in actually practising himself. He was quick to judge without noticing that he himself was guilty of what he was criticizing.

The third monk let his anger towards the first two monks affect him.
The singular burst of anger ruined the effort of the day.

The fourth monk lost his way because of pride. He was convinced he was superior to the others, proving his ignorance.

Why did the fourth monk speak at all? He could have simply maintained his silence and he would have been successful in his endeavour.
But if he had, chances are, the other three might have continued to argue and not even noticed his silence. Some people are like this.

Their motto is “If I am doing something good, but no one notices, I might as well not be doing it at all.” They believe that the reward is not in the effort, but in the recognition.

There is a beautiful quote, “It is the province of knowledge to speak; it is the privilege of wisdom to listen.”

As we learn to truly listen, witness and observe without impulsively reacting with distraction, judgement, anger and pride, then we understand the true meaning of silence.

The Wisdom of Silence

Silence has the strength of spaces in sublime consciousness…

Silence shows the way of patience

Silence activates our guiding spirit

Silence powers the strength of intuition

Silence moves towards deep contemplation

Silence evolves the spirit of understanding

Silence graces atmosphere with quietude

Silence defends without a word

Silence strengthens the soul.

Silence can be a knowing of the peace within .

Silence is painful in its struggles and valuable in itself. Silence is in utter desperation, deep contemplation with phases of meditative connectedness. Silence is never thoughtless or mindless.

Silence dwells in the spaces between the steps to access whenever. Silence leads and the path appears.

Trust the lessons learned in silence.

Savvy Raj


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On letting go…

We are often about holding on than letting go . We are able to hoard but find it difficult to let go . We try to control our lives a little too much that we often forget there is a power greater than us that cares for us all.

Letting go in faith and trust is an immensely gratifying experience. If you choose to let go of your unnecessary niggles of doubts and fears you will find the path of calm and peace that sustains you …

So what are the immediate things you can choose to let loose?

Here are a few that come immediately to mind…

Lose your excuses
You will find results

Lose your worry
You will find the will to do

Lose your negative thoughts
You will reflect positivity

Lose your doubts
You will find solutions

Lose your fears
You will find the way

Lose your inadequacies

You will find abundance

Savvy


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Care or control?

Care or Control?

I was in consultation with a middle age couple.

They started fighting right in front of me.

The upset husband said-

See doc….

I ‘Care’ so much for her & this is what I get in return.

To which the fuming wife replied-

He doesn’t care…
he just ‘Controls’!

The care from one person was perceived as control by another!

This made me think…🤔

What is Care and
What is Control?

How to identify them?

Soon

I received the answer.

I had an argument with my teenage daughter over a trivial disciplinery issue…

Harsh words were exchanged leaving both of us in tears…😪

After sometime,

as our emotions settled down ,

We said sorry to each other…

My daughter hugged me and said-

Papa ,

You know why you got upset?

You were not upset because I did wrong.

but u were upset because

I didnt follow your instructions…

there is a big difference!

I was stunned with her mature thinking pattern.

I received my answer too…

I was trying to Control her under the disguise of Care…

that caused the conflict ….

If I really ‘Care’ for someone ,

I will not get upset or angry with that person…

I will keep searching different ways to help him…

If I am struggling in any relationship…

I need to closely observe

If there is any subtle Control hidden behind my apparent Care…_*

‘because

“Care is an expression of love

While Control is an expression of ego…

Control cuts…Care connects

Control hurts…Care heals.

Keep Caring for people

but dont Control them …

because

Often people are not wrong…

they are just ‘different’.

Keep Caring.