In this series I share stories that are thought provoking, inspiring, motivational or touching our lives in some way or the other.
Better late than never
My mom had a lot of problems. She did not sleep and she felt exhausted. She was irritable, grumpy, and bitter. She was always sick, until one day, suddenly, she changed.
The situation was the same, but she was different.
One day my dad said to her:
– I’ve been looking for a job for three months and I haven’t found anything, I’m going to have a few beers with friends.
My mom replied:
– It’s okay.
My brother said to her:
– Mom, I’m doing poorly in all subjects at the University …
My mom replied:
– Okay, you will recover, and if you don’t, well, you repeat the semester, but you pay the tuition.
My sister said to her:
– Mom, I hit the car.
My mom replied:
– Okay daughter, take it to the workshop, find how to pay and while they fix it, get around by bus or subway.
Her daughter-in-law said to her:
– Mother-in-law, I come to spend a few months with you.
My mom replied:
– Okay, settle in the living room couch and look for some blankets in the closet.
All of us at my mom’s house gathered worried to see these reactions.
We suspected that she had gone to the doctor and that she was prescribe some pills of “I don’t give a damn about 1000 mg.”
She would probably also be ingesting an overdose.
We then proposed to do an “intervention” to my mother to remove her from any possible addiction she had towards some anti-tantrum medication.
But what was not the surprise, when we all gathered around her and my mom explained:
“It took me a long time to realize that each person is responsible for their life, it took me years to discover that my anguish, my mortification, my depression, my courage, my insomnia and my stress, did not solve their problems but aggravated mine.
I am not responsible for the actions of others, but I am responsible for the reactions I express to that.
Therefore, I came to the conclusion that my duty to myself is to remain calm and let each one solve what corresponds to them.
I have taken courses in yoga, meditation, miracles, human development, mental hygiene, vibration and neurolinguistic programming, and in all of them, I found a common denominator: finally they all lead to the same point.
And, it is that I can only interfere with myself, you have all the necessary resources to solve your own lives.
I can only give you my advice if you ask me and it depends on you to follow it or not.
So, from now on, I cease to be: the receptacle of your responsibilities, the sack of your guilt, the laundress of your remorse, the advocate of your faults, the wall of your lamentations, the depositary of your duties, who should solve your problems or spare a tire every time to fulfill your responsibilities.
From now on, I declare all independent and self-sufficient adults.
Everyone at my mom’s house was speechless.
From that day on, the family began to function better, because everyone in the house knows exactly what it is that they need to do.
There is the power of sounds Discovered in Silence In meditative stillness In contemplative introspection In expansiveness of understanding In the depth of listening There is then the power of words Of vision in the verses Or expressions of the uniqueness All mere vibrations in resonance.
Thank you for the depth of your empathic listening.
Allowing the art to speak and acknowledging its flow is of essence, to sense and enjoy the art itself.
Learning to dance & dancing socially comes along with many lessons and learnings…
In any partner dancing its important to respond than simply react to the movement direction from the partner in the flow.
The cultivation of the ability of any dancers acknowledgement & appreciation of their dance partner or other dancers, differences in movement speed or artistry not merely as tolerable, brings on the required humility and grace in the dance.
This is in itself the essence of a rich and rewarding social dancing experience.
Decision is often the difference between greatness and mediocrity. In every man’s life there comes a time when he must search for a cause, a work, an ideal to which he can give himself. Whether he says ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ to the challenge will determine his future.”
What’s going to Matter Is the way we use our skills Each of us is uniquely blessed But how we choose to be Is in our hands Skills are just tools But your emotions and thoughts can alter life Let it guide you to do better Transform your attitude to life and living Life evolves for the better.
Grateful for a powerful caption that caught my eye
‘Don’t bite more than you can chew.’
Denotes the wisdom of moderation in life and living. To know a cut off point Is to know where to draw the line between exhaustion and excitement.
Simply taking on more work or responsibility or trying to multitasking beyond your abilities and capacities is self defeating. So only commit to what you truly can deliver . Not less not more. So grateful to have read this many years ago. It struck a deep chord in me and must say I have been trying consistently to practice this advice in lifeand living.
Happy to share this simple yet profoundly impactful learning.
Change management is an important component of life skills. Often loneliness is felt at different phases of life Overcome the fear of being alone. Life teaches many challenging lessons. But most of all know that nothing is permanent Change is the order of nature And if you ever find yourself at crossroads feeling deserted lonely or lost without any loved one , fear not, as there are many who may be feeling so amidst company. Develop hobbies and a sense of purpose that you are passionate about. And you will never feel alone a single moment in your life .
2 Art of patience: Everything has a time and reason. Like nature teaches us time and time again, nothing can be hurried without a repercussion. And all comes in course of time.
Cultivating Patience is the key to mastering burden of procarasitation by others.
3 Letting go . Let past go and do not dwell on it. Work to balance the holding back & the letting go with discretion and discernment.
4 Managing Expectations The world does not owe you anything infact you owe it much.Managing people’s expectations and your own requires some clear boundary setting by you for your own sanity. Dont expect immediate results and ease up to master expectations.
5 People Management
All cannot be pleased by you and neither should you try pleasing all. Managing Self involves learning to say no when you feel it deeply. You cannot live a life pleasing others . Putting your health and self care on priority is a duty to the life within you. You have every right to be happy and healthy. Self care is never a selfish act.
6 Self Control & Self Discipline
Both help and aid you to progress towards Self control than to control all around you. You may not be able to control everything and every one’s behavior. But remember you are completely in charge of your own behavior.
7 Empathy :
Empathise with your problems but there is no need to over sympathize and feel sorry for your yourself. Accept that you may have emotionally weak moments which may drain you but know it moves on. So you dont need to stay there in your thoughts hurting yourself. You may feel and go through bouts of tears envy anger jealousy and they can be at times to heal you through or counter productive for you depending on the intensity but these self pitying moments in your thoughts come as you are only human, but you have free will and intention on your side and it is duty and right, for you owe to yourself to let these go as they came and not drown yourself with these thoughts. So pull out yourself out of the down spiralling thought road.
8 Responsibility :
Being responsible includes making an effort to finish work entrusted in a timely manner as well as in an efficient manner. Strive to improve your potential. Know where, why, when, how and for what to use your own personal energy and strengthen yourself engaging and involving in worthwhile company and causes.
9 Moderation :
Moderation in behaviour Your thoughts result in actions Strive to cultivate a balanced approach in extreme circumstances which may seem truly challenging. Express your opinions tactfully address the situation mindfully & he(artfully) as you integrate the wisdom of the heart and mind conciousness.
Life is different for each of us. So move ahead knowing that every day challenges come for a reason that is best not revealed now . Have faith hope belief and trust in your being. There is always a reason why things happen the way they do . Do not give up hope in your failures as they are harbringers of hope and wisdom to create a more evolved you.
Remember every failure is a step to chisel and sculpt away to a better you.And most of all make your life worth living.