Empathy is a social intelligence worth having and honing Empathy meets you where you are as you are Without judgements and competition Empathy is a resiunding resonance Empathic communication leaves you touched and heard. Empathy allows you to show acceptance and sense connection.
Empathy walks through and paves its way into the heart Empathy is about sensing anothers heart and its ways Empathy motivates the spirit and nurtures the being. Empathy is a social intelligence A much needed life skill Empathy speaks more powerfully than words as its from all of you Empathy connects through in an instant. For Empathy is the way of the heart and heart knows the way.
Don’t call someone more than twice continuously. If they don’t pick up your call, presume they have something important to attend to;
Return money that you have borrowed even before the person that borrowed you remember or ask for it. It shows your integrity and character. Same goes with umbrellas, pens and lunch boxes.
Never order the expensive dish on the menu when someone is giving you a lunch/dinner.
Don’t ask awkward questions like ‘Oh so you aren’t married yet?’ Or ‘Don’t you have kids’ or ‘Why didn’t you buy a house?’ Or why don’t you buy a car? For God’s sake it isn’t your problem;
Always open the door for the person coming behind you. It doesn’t matter if it is a guy or a girl, senior or junior. You don’t grow small by treating someone well in public;
If you take a taxi with a friend and he/she pays now, try paying next time;
Respect different shades of opinions. Remember what’s 6 to you will appear 9 to someone facing you. Besides, second opinion is good for an alternative;
Never interrupt people talking. Allow them to pour it out. As they say, hear them all and filter them all;
If you tease someone, and they don’t seem to enjoy it, stop it and never do it again. It encourages one to do more and it shows how appreciative you’re;
Say “thank you” when someone is helping you.
Praise publicly. Criticize privately;
There’s almost never a reason to comment on someone’s weight. Just say, “You look fantastic.” If they want to talk about losing weight, they will;
When someone shows you a photo on their phone, don’t swipe left or right. You never know what’s next;
If a colleague tells you they have a doctors’ appointment, don’t ask what it’s for, just say “I hope you’re okay”. Don’t put them in the uncomfortable position of having to tell you their personal illness. If they want you to know, they’ll do so without your inquisitiveness;
Treat the cleaner with the same respect as the CEO. Nobody is impressed at how rude you can treat someone below you but people will notice if you treat them with respect;
If a person is speaking directly to you, staring at your phone is rude;
Never give advice until you’re asked;
When meeting someone after a long time, unless they want to talk about it, don’t ask them their age and salary;
Mind your business unless anything involves you directly – just stay out of it;
Remove your sunglasses if you are talking to anyone in the street. It is a sign of respect. Moreso, eye contact is as important as your speech; and
Never talk about your riches in the midst of the poor. Similarly, don’t talk about your children in the midst of the barren.
22.After reading a good message try to say “Thanks for the message”.
APPRECIATION remains the easiest way of getting what you don’t have….
In this series I share stories that are thought provoking, inspiring, motivational or touching our lives in some way or the other.
Better late than never
My mom had a lot of problems. She did not sleep and she felt exhausted. She was irritable, grumpy, and bitter. She was always sick, until one day, suddenly, she changed.
The situation was the same, but she was different.
One day my dad said to her:
– I’ve been looking for a job for three months and I haven’t found anything, I’m going to have a few beers with friends.
My mom replied:
– It’s okay.
My brother said to her:
– Mom, I’m doing poorly in all subjects at the University …
My mom replied:
– Okay, you will recover, and if you don’t, well, you repeat the semester, but you pay the tuition.
My sister said to her:
– Mom, I hit the car.
My mom replied:
– Okay daughter, take it to the workshop, find how to pay and while they fix it, get around by bus or subway.
Her daughter-in-law said to her:
– Mother-in-law, I come to spend a few months with you.
My mom replied:
– Okay, settle in the living room couch and look for some blankets in the closet.
All of us at my mom’s house gathered worried to see these reactions.
We suspected that she had gone to the doctor and that she was prescribe some pills of “I don’t give a damn about 1000 mg.”
She would probably also be ingesting an overdose.
We then proposed to do an “intervention” to my mother to remove her from any possible addiction she had towards some anti-tantrum medication.
But what was not the surprise, when we all gathered around her and my mom explained:
“It took me a long time to realize that each person is responsible for their life, it took me years to discover that my anguish, my mortification, my depression, my courage, my insomnia and my stress, did not solve their problems but aggravated mine.
I am not responsible for the actions of others, but I am responsible for the reactions I express to that.
Therefore, I came to the conclusion that my duty to myself is to remain calm and let each one solve what corresponds to them.
I have taken courses in yoga, meditation, miracles, human development, mental hygiene, vibration and neurolinguistic programming, and in all of them, I found a common denominator: finally they all lead to the same point.
And, it is that I can only interfere with myself, you have all the necessary resources to solve your own lives.
I can only give you my advice if you ask me and it depends on you to follow it or not.
So, from now on, I cease to be: the receptacle of your responsibilities, the sack of your guilt, the laundress of your remorse, the advocate of your faults, the wall of your lamentations, the depositary of your duties, who should solve your problems or spare a tire every time to fulfill your responsibilities.
From now on, I declare all independent and self-sufficient adults.
Everyone at my mom’s house was speechless.
From that day on, the family began to function better, because everyone in the house knows exactly what it is that they need to do.
It’s all in the nurturing Plant a life in hope Nurture seeds of compassion Water it everyday with kind deeds Nourish the roots with care Enrich it with love for life What you plant in your heart becomes you And you reap what you sow
Now the question is what are you nurturing in this now ? And what do you want to nurture today?
There is always space to learn and understand more
Space to grow and evolve
And it all starts with a little shift in perspective.
A little rebalancing from the way things are…
Work & life
It often amazes me to see the adulation that certain people have for being the first to arrive and last to leave their workplace. I wonder if anyone has cared to check how their families feel about this?
Many on the so called respected and admired list, are people who are workaholics, burning out by the minute.
They are there, working beyond the call of duty perhaps out of personal passion, sense of ownership and responsibility or even perhaps because they feel they can’t afford to fail, may be even because it gives them an edge of pride to be known as some one who is committed.
However life is about balance and simply put, more of one leads to less of another. The trick is the wisdom of balance and steering clear of extremes.
To every workaholic out there here are few reflections…
☆Avoid stretching yourself too thin.You are already on razors edge and you are hurting one part of your life, if you continue to do what you do. Reclaim your life. Find other passions and take care of your health. Stay safe than sorry.
☆Your personal life is at stake and is also your responsibility.
☆Bringing home the money and comforts is just one half of the whole. Your family is best nurtured by your loving presence in their lives.
☆Your absence at home and family/ social affairs is missed at first and then adapted with along the way to a point of being indifferent to your presence in time. Because you are never there for them.
☆ At a certain point in life, lack of care and connection begins to show and no amount of money can be valued over time .
☆Money cannot buy love they say and it certainly becomes true, as people begin to use you for your money and you will never feel fulfilled and content after spending it.
☆Everything around you becomes materialistic to the point of manipulation and its your own doing as you threw in the money and comforts where ever and whenever your time was required or requested.
☆Relationships become meaningless without a sense of togetherness. Missing out time with another in the excuse of being busy for years will take a toll on personal life. People will get used to you not being around for them and then expecting them to be there for you when you need them is a selfish ask.
☆Your children will be affected by your continued absence . Your presence in their growing years is very important for their holistic well being. Your partner will be angry or isolated with you. And expecting things to be different as you continue your ways is not going to change anything.
☆However in recognizing the signs of workaholic and your choosing to balance different aspects of your life will start making a meaningful difference.
☆For starters acknowledge your value for your time and energy.
☆Speaking of your energy , if you have spent most of your day at work , how will you find yourself able to give more of you as you have exhausted yourself
☆Recognize where it’s slipping away and start to chalk out a balancing plan. It can transform your life and those around you.
☆Find moments that are solely yours and use it for your personal development.
☆Your career is only one part of your life. It helps you sustain your life but the relationships you have nourishes you. Without it you have no true sense of purpose.
☆If you are one of those who are thinking of grabbing opportunities and climbing the corporate ladder acknowledge that you may possibly often have an unsatisfactory family relationship at the end of it all.
☆Your passion for your work may begin to affect your health watch out early signs of strain and stress and care to take help .
Thankfully today the world is more aware of work week and many countries are Consciously doing something about it. How it affects productivity in time will be seen and how much it could contribute to work life balance, but it definitely is time reclaimed for family.
The truth is its about prioritization of what’s important for well-being in life. Personal and professional lives both are important and have demands that need your time. So balance is the key.
Strolling through the streets of Lanka at night, Hanuman was taken aback when he heard the chants of Sriram coming from a home.
They were not loud but whispers through the windows.
Hanuman wondered who could be chanting my Lord’s name in the city ruled by Ravan.
The house had a cluster of Tulsi plants outside and the walls had signs of Sri Hari.
Just then a man opened the front door and came out chanting the Holy Name.
The Sky was Starlit and it was couple of hours before Dawn.
The man offered water to the Tulsi plants, while performing a Circumbulation.
Hanuman hopped and stood before him, folding his hands.
The man introduced himself as Vibhishana, brother of Ravan.
Hanuman asked
“It baffles me: you are a devotee and a Noble Soul.
How on Earth you live among the Demons? “
Vibhishan smiled and said
“Just as the tongue lives in the mouth with thirty two teeth biting and grinding, around it, not only does the tongue remain untouched, it enjoys all the taste”.
The very food that sits and rolls on the tongue is chewed to a pulp by the teeth and yet this snaky little thing escapes unscathed.
Only time it is hurt is when we have a lapse of mindfulness.
Why?
Philosophically the chief difference is, flexibility.
The tongue’s flexibility is the key to its longevity.
That’s why it gets the taste while the teeth get Root canals and Cavities
They fall too or pulled out!.
But no one loses their tongue.
The tongue teaches…….
Others may grind and bite but you can still enjoy life if you are flexible.
Everything will hurt less, bother less if we loosen up a bit.. then an Avalanche of Peace and Joy is triggered.
If you want lasting Peace and Joy, learn from your tongue and live like it. Befriend it. Tame it. It has a great bearing on your relationship.
There is the power of sounds Discovered in Silence In meditative stillness In contemplative introspection In expansiveness of understanding In the depth of listening There is then the power of words Of vision in the verses Or expressions of the uniqueness All mere vibrations in resonance.
Thank you for the depth of your empathic listening.
Savvy Raj 