A flower doesn’t stop being beautiful just because somebody walks by without noticing it, nor does it cease to be fragrant if its scent is taken for granted. The flower just continues to be its glorious self: elegant, graceful, and magnificent.
Our Mother Nature has provided us with these immeasurably valuable teachers that blossom despite their short lifespan, stars that continue to shine even if we fail to stare at them, and trees that don’t take it personally if we never bow down in gratitude for the oxygen they provide.
We also have an incredible and unlimited capacity to love, but the question is: Can we do it like a flower? Without needing to be admired, adored, or even noticed? Can we open our hearts completely to give, forgive, celebrate, and joyfully live our lives without hesitation or need for reciprocity?
It seems like sometimes we go beyond taking things personally and are noticeably deflated when unappreciated. In fact, devastated, we wilt in sorrow and then attempt to guard ourselves by withholding, using all sorts of protections and defenses. We get hurt (even angry) if our boss fails to recognize an astonishing feat, if a lover pulls their hand away, or when a friend forgets our birthday. Can you imagine a flower copping an attitude for not being praised, or the moon dimming its glow because we’re too self-absorbed to notice it more often?
Make an effort to shine NO MATTER WHAT, to love unconditionally, and to be a kind and gentle soul (even when nobody is watching).
And, if you’re so inclined, hug the next tree you see and say, “Thank you!”
~ Excerpt from Buddhist Boot Camp by Timber Hawkeye
In any organization When leadership listens Empathy is nurtured Safe space is created Conversations connect Teams bond in trustfulness Productivity rises In balanced motivation Both intrinsic & external Work becomes less dense In collaboration & cooperation Valuing diversity of potential Possibilities are explored Challenges gets simplified Structure becomes systems Protocols are in place Change is acknowledged In faith goodwill and trust That we are stronger together There is unity in diversity As respect becomes culture. Trust becomes the way.
Don’t call someone more than twice continuously. If they don’t pick up your call, presume they have something important to attend to;
Return money that you have borrowed even before the person that borrowed you remember or ask for it. It shows your integrity and character. Same goes with umbrellas, pens and lunch boxes.
Never order the expensive dish on the menu when someone is giving you a lunch/dinner.
Don’t ask awkward questions like ‘Oh so you aren’t married yet?’ Or ‘Don’t you have kids’ or ‘Why didn’t you buy a house?’ Or why don’t you buy a car? For God’s sake it isn’t your problem;
Always open the door for the person coming behind you. It doesn’t matter if it is a guy or a girl, senior or junior. You don’t grow small by treating someone well in public;
If you take a taxi with a friend and he/she pays now, try paying next time;
Respect different shades of opinions. Remember what’s 6 to you will appear 9 to someone facing you. Besides, second opinion is good for an alternative;
Never interrupt people talking. Allow them to pour it out. As they say, hear them all and filter them all;
If you tease someone, and they don’t seem to enjoy it, stop it and never do it again. It encourages one to do more and it shows how appreciative you’re;
Say “thank you” when someone is helping you.
Praise publicly. Criticize privately;
There’s almost never a reason to comment on someone’s weight. Just say, “You look fantastic.” If they want to talk about losing weight, they will;
When someone shows you a photo on their phone, don’t swipe left or right. You never know what’s next;
If a colleague tells you they have a doctors’ appointment, don’t ask what it’s for, just say “I hope you’re okay”. Don’t put them in the uncomfortable position of having to tell you their personal illness. If they want you to know, they’ll do so without your inquisitiveness;
Treat the cleaner with the same respect as the CEO. Nobody is impressed at how rude you can treat someone below you but people will notice if you treat them with respect;
If a person is speaking directly to you, staring at your phone is rude;
Never give advice until you’re asked;
When meeting someone after a long time, unless they want to talk about it, don’t ask them their age and salary;
Mind your business unless anything involves you directly – just stay out of it;
Remove your sunglasses if you are talking to anyone in the street. It is a sign of respect. Moreso, eye contact is as important as your speech; and
Never talk about your riches in the midst of the poor. Similarly, don’t talk about your children in the midst of the barren.
22.After reading a good message try to say “Thanks for the message”.
APPRECIATION remains the easiest way of getting what you don’t have….
In this series I share stories that are thought provoking, inspiring, motivational or touching our lives in some way or the other.
Better late than never
My mom had a lot of problems. She did not sleep and she felt exhausted. She was irritable, grumpy, and bitter. She was always sick, until one day, suddenly, she changed.
The situation was the same, but she was different.
One day my dad said to her:
– I’ve been looking for a job for three months and I haven’t found anything, I’m going to have a few beers with friends.
My mom replied:
– It’s okay.
My brother said to her:
– Mom, I’m doing poorly in all subjects at the University …
My mom replied:
– Okay, you will recover, and if you don’t, well, you repeat the semester, but you pay the tuition.
My sister said to her:
– Mom, I hit the car.
My mom replied:
– Okay daughter, take it to the workshop, find how to pay and while they fix it, get around by bus or subway.
Her daughter-in-law said to her:
– Mother-in-law, I come to spend a few months with you.
My mom replied:
– Okay, settle in the living room couch and look for some blankets in the closet.
All of us at my mom’s house gathered worried to see these reactions.
We suspected that she had gone to the doctor and that she was prescribe some pills of “I don’t give a damn about 1000 mg.”
She would probably also be ingesting an overdose.
We then proposed to do an “intervention” to my mother to remove her from any possible addiction she had towards some anti-tantrum medication.
But what was not the surprise, when we all gathered around her and my mom explained:
“It took me a long time to realize that each person is responsible for their life, it took me years to discover that my anguish, my mortification, my depression, my courage, my insomnia and my stress, did not solve their problems but aggravated mine.
I am not responsible for the actions of others, but I am responsible for the reactions I express to that.
Therefore, I came to the conclusion that my duty to myself is to remain calm and let each one solve what corresponds to them.
I have taken courses in yoga, meditation, miracles, human development, mental hygiene, vibration and neurolinguistic programming, and in all of them, I found a common denominator: finally they all lead to the same point.
And, it is that I can only interfere with myself, you have all the necessary resources to solve your own lives.
I can only give you my advice if you ask me and it depends on you to follow it or not.
So, from now on, I cease to be: the receptacle of your responsibilities, the sack of your guilt, the laundress of your remorse, the advocate of your faults, the wall of your lamentations, the depositary of your duties, who should solve your problems or spare a tire every time to fulfill your responsibilities.
From now on, I declare all independent and self-sufficient adults.
Everyone at my mom’s house was speechless.
From that day on, the family began to function better, because everyone in the house knows exactly what it is that they need to do.
There is the power of sounds Discovered in Silence In meditative stillness In contemplative introspection In expansiveness of understanding In the depth of listening There is then the power of words Of vision in the verses Or expressions of the uniqueness All mere vibrations in resonance.
Thank you for the depth of your empathic listening.