Sharing this is very poignant piece of writing that I came across. Although it is truly touching it does leave us with a valuable learning on living life…
Do care to read.
ONE BEDROOM FLAT…
Written by an Indian Engineer.
A Bitter Reality
As the dream of most parents I had acquired a degree in Engineering and joined a company based in USA, the land of braves and opportunity. When I arrived in the USA, it was as if a dream had come true.
Here at last I was in the place where I want to be. I decided I would be staying in this country for about Five years in which time I would have earned enough money to settle down in India.
My father was a government employee and after his retirement, the only asset he could acquire was a decent one bedroom flat.
I wanted to do something more than him. I started feeling homesick and lonely as the time passed. I used to call home and speak to my parents every week using cheap international phone cards. Two years passed, two years of Burgers at McDonald’s and pizzas and discos and 2 years watching the foreign exchange rate getting happy whenever the Rupee value went down.
Finally I decided to get married. Told my parents that I have only 10 days of holidays and everything must be done within these 10 days. I got my ticket booked in the cheapest flight. Was jubilant and was actually enjoying hopping for gifts for all my friends back home. If I miss anyone then there will be talks. After reaching home I went through all the photographs of girls and as the time was getting shorter I was forced to select one candidate.
In-laws told me, to my surprise, that I would have to get married in 2-3 days, as I will not get anymore holidays. After the marriage, it was time to return to USA, after giving some money to my parents and telling the neighbours to look after them, we returned to USA.
My wife enjoyed this country for about two months and then she started feeling lonely. The frequency of calling India increased to twice in a week sometimes 3 times a week. Our savings started diminishing.
After two more years we started to have kids. Two lovely kids, a boy and a girl, were gifted to us by the almighty. Every time I spoke to my parents, they asked me to come to India so that they can see their grand-children.
Every year I decide to go to India But part work part monetary conditions prevented it. Years went by and visiting India was a distant dream. Then suddenly one day I got a message that my parents were seriously sick. I tried but I couldn’t get any holidays and thus could not go to India … The next message I got was my parents had passed away and as there was no one to do the last rites the society members had done whatever they could. I was depressed. My parents had passed away without seeing their grand children.
After couple more years passed away, much to my children’s dislike and my wife’s joy we returned to India to settle down. I started to look for a suitable property, but to my dismay my savings were short and the property prices had gone up during all these years. I had to return to the USA…
My children refused to stay in India… So I returned to USA with my family.
Time passed by, my daughter decided to get married to an American and my son was happy living in USA… I decided that had enough and wound-up everything and returned to India… I had just enough money to buy a decent 02 bedroom flat in a well-developed locality.
Now I am 60 years old and the only time I go out of the flat is for the routine visit to the nearby temple. My faithful wife has also left me and gone to the holy abode.
Sometimes I wondered was it worth all this?
My father, even after staying in India,had a house to his name and I too have the same nothing more.
I lost my parents and children for just ONE EXTRA BEDROOM.
Looking out from the window I see my childhood and the beautiful moments that I missed. I get occasional cards from my children asking I am alright. Well at least they remember me.
Now perhaps after I die it will be the neighbours again who will be performing my last rights, God Bless them.
But the question still remains ‘was all this worth it?’
I am still searching for an answer!
IS IT JUST FOR ONE EXTRA BEDROOM???
LIFE IS BEYOND THIS …. .DON’T JUST LEAVE YOUR LIFE ..
LEAD YOUR LIFE HAPPILY WITH YOUR LOVED ONES AROUND.
Enjoy it with your near and dear ones
Money does not make you happy,
love of parents, children and all close to us does.
“So much pressure in today’s world to succeed at all costs, to attain materialistic desires, somewhere loses its way and all seems to go back the start.
Just like the sounds of music in the spaces between the notes, there is dancing in the spaces between the steps. It is only when we become aware of the value of the spaces between the thoughts that we can truly reflect, revel and live with ease through our lives.
The pinnacle of access to our realization of the creative entities at work would actually be in the silence, in the intentions, in an emotional journey of profound fulfilment. The trick is to find that point of the immense creative surge and be able to nurture it.
Rest and activity go together just as much as night and day… and like the yin and the yang, the pauses in between two breathes, inaction in between the action, brings forth the clarity, purity, and the intensity of that which is evolving.
It’s disheartening that our world has become so hyperactive. Multitasking has become the order of the day, people spend time having dinner in front of televisions, reading is done with music, and very often we have mobile phone calls that cut through a real conversation. So much has there been an abuse of our bodies and mind that we truly have forgotten the importance of non-activity and quietude.
The stillness between your actions or movements are the bridges to our conscious experiences and the greater your awareness the greater the creative potency of the action itself.
Dancing socially de-stresses the body mind and spirit holistically. Taking a momentto value the steps you dance together, valuing the music you are dancing to, appreciating this moment & appreciating the partner you have at this moment will only cultivate the value for oneself and will help in centring oneself deeper in the action with a joyful heart and soul.
When you dance, if you still your thoughts to simply learn to flow with the partner, the atmosphere, the music you will undoubtedly enliven yourself in the process and what you have is a beautiful dance of togetherness bridging the spaces between the steps with a conscious awareness …… And that is when dancing feels like a miracle that’s happening!
Start the day with a few minutes of silence and observing the breath
Take time to pause and watch nature and try to be one with it . .. Maybe a sunrise, a sunset, a beach view watching the waves, the stars in the sky, the moon, the sky, or a rose or any flower or potted plant, or maybe a tree in your garden.
Make sure to have moments where you are free of your cellphone, tv, computer, or any electronic appliance.
Make a point of actually listening and understanding as others speak and allow the other to speak as much as yourself.
Accept every moment in the life you have now and cherish it for what it is…cultivating an attitude of gratitude.
The average length of a hug between two people is 3 seconds. But the researchers have discovered something fantastic. When a hug lasts 20 seconds, there is a therapeutic effect on the body and mind. The reason is that a sincere embrace produces a hormone called “oxytocin”, also known as the love hormone. This substance has many benefits in our physical and mental health, helps us, among other things, to relax, to feel safe and calm our fears and anxiety. This wonderful tranquilizer is offered free of charge every time we have a person in our arms, who cradled a child, who cherish a dog or a cat, that we are dancing with our partner, the closer we get to someone or simply hold the Shoulders of a friend.
A famous quote by psychotherapist Virginia Satir goes, “We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.”
Whether those exact numbers have been scientifically proven remains to be seen, but there is a great deal of scientific evidence related to the importance of hugs and physical contact. Here are some reasons why we should hug::
1. STIMULATES OXYTOCIN
Oxytocin is a neurotransmitter that acts on the limbic system, the brain’s emotional centre, promoting feelings of contentment, reducing anxiety and stress, and even making mammals monogamous. It is the hormone responsible for us all being here today. You see this little gem is released during childbirth, making our mothers forget about all of the excruciating pain they endured expelling us from their bodies and making them want to still love and spend time with us. New research from the University of California suggests that it has a similarly civilising effect on human males, making them more affectionate and better at forming relationships and social bonding. When we hug someone, oxytocin is released into our bodies by our pituitary gland, lowering both our heart rates and our cortisol levels. Cortisol is the hormone responsible for stress, high blood pressure, and heart disease.
2. CULTIVATES PATIENCE
Connections are fostered when people take the time to appreciate and acknowledge one another. A hug is one of the easiest ways to show appreciation and acknowledgement of another person. The world is a busy, hustle-bustle place and we’re constantly rushing to the next task. By slowing down and taking a moment to offer sincere hugs throughout the day, we’re benefiting ourselves, others, and cultivating better patience within ourselves.
3. PREVENTS DISEASE
Affection also has a direct response on the reduction of stress which prevents many diseases. The Touch Research Institute at the University of Miami School of Medicine says it has carried out more than 100 studies into touch and found evidence of significant effects, including faster growth in premature babies, reduced pain, decreased autoimmune disease symptoms, lowered glucose levels in children with diabetes, and improved immune systems in people with cancer.
4. STIMULATES THYMUS GLAND
Hugs strengthen the immune system. The gentle pressure on the sternum and the emotional charge this creates activates the Solar Plexus Chakra. This stimulates the thymus gland, which regulates and balances the body’s production of white blood cells, which keep you healthy and disease free.
5. COMMUNICATION WITHOUT SAYING A WORD
Almost 70 percent of communication is nonverbal. The interpretation of body language can be based on a single gesture and hugging is an excellent method of expressing yourself nonverbally to another human being or animal. Not only can they feel the love and care in your embrace, but they can actually be receptive enough to pay it forward to others based on your initiative alone.
Hugging boosts self-esteem, especially in children. The tactile sense is all-important in infants. A baby recognizes its parents initially by touch. From the time we’re born our family’s touch shows us that we’re loved and special. The associations of self-worth and tactile sensations from our early years are still imbedded in our nervous system as adults. The cuddles we received from our Mom and Dad while growing up remain imprinted at a cellular level, and hugs remind us at a somatic level of that. Hugs, therefore, connect us to our ability to self love.
7. STIMULATES DOPAMINE
Everything everyone does involves protecting and triggering dopamine flow. Low dopamine levels play a role in the neurodegenerative disease Parkinson’s as well as mood disorders such as depression. Dopamine is responsible for giving us that feel-good feeling, and it’s also responsible for motivation! Hugs stimulate brains to release dopamine, the pleasure hormone. Dopamine sensors are the areas that many stimulating drugs such as cocaine and methamphetamine target. The presence of a certain kinds of dopamine receptors are also associated with sensation-seeking.
8. STIMULATES SEROTONIN
Reaching out and hugging releases endorphins and serotonin into the blood vessels and the released endorphins and serotonin cause pleasure and negate pain and sadness and decrease the chances of getting heart problems, helps fight excess weight and prolongs life. Even the cuddling of pets has a soothing effect that reduces the stress levels. Hugging for an extended time lifts one’s serotonin levels, elevating mood and creating happiness.
9. PARASYMPATHETIC BALANCE
Hugs balance out the nervous system. The skin contains a network of tiny, egg-shaped pressure centres called Pacinian corpuscles that can sense touch and which are in contact with the brain through the vagus nerve. The galvanic skin response of someone receiving and giving a hug shows a change in skin conductance. The effect in moisture and electricity in the skin suggests a more balanced state in the nervous system – parasympathetic.
Quite a bit of indepth information on the healing powers in a simple hug.
Such is the magic in a warm embrace
Embrace, embrace with your heart.
When you are hugging a child, always be the last one to let go. You never know how long they need it. ~Author Unknown
The need for more,the lack of contentment, the hoarding mentality the greed of the times we live in, the desire to possess for the sake of simply owning better than the best, than for any use, the brand consciousness for all that overmarketed hype in the name of fashion, the feeling of never having enough …all amounts to a lack of real value for anything we truly have … the sad truth of times indeed that calls for awakening before it is too late.
When our individual insatiable expressions of life in the living take flights of fancy without any heed, we need a reconsideration of the ramifications.
Until the value of the bigger picture is seen through the heart rather than immediate gains which can be self anihilating it is an uphill task at hand.
And that is when a need for responsive change through transformations are the call of the moment across the world. Then it is the play of balance, of proportions and disproportions that the self creates, adjusts and develops as per the needs of the times hopefully.
Till then we can try our best to take one step ahead in time with responsibility and accountability.
Came across this story share, do read as all is a matter of shifting perspectives. Not sure I agree to this but yes the attitude you carry and the way you see things can drastically and dramatically change the picture. Read on …
“What is your view on retirement ?”
… A nice answer given by a Cardiologist.
Most people believe that there is no retirement benefit and old age help, especially in India.
They are wrong. Here is why.
An elderly, white haired, fragile but pleasant looking man came in with a complaint of chest pain the previous night.
The ECG showed features of severe ischemia suggestive of blocks in the heart. Even at the age of 82, it was too abnormal and warranted admission. The young casualty duty medical officer with his new MD degree made a correct diagnosis and dutifully arranged to admit him in the intensive coronary care unit, and send him in a trolley.
When I went to see the patient, the scene was different. The patient’s two (grown-up) children were standing on two sides of the bed, son on to his right and daughter on to his left. And both were shouting at each other at the top of their voices. Not sure as how best to tackle the situation, I decided to be a passive listener.
“It is your entire fault that dad got a heart attack”, shouted the son.
“You never looked after him properly. You just kept him with you to get hold of his property, I know”. retorted the salwar clad daughter.
“And now you want me to pay for his hospital bill”?
“My my, that from a daughter who never visits her father!”
“You have to pay for his bill. I have no money; my kids are in college. And the reason for his attack is because your wife ill treats him all the time”- the daughter’s verdict was clear.
I avoided them both. I smiled to the elderly man. Before I could say something, he held my hands.
“Oh my dear son, So you are the doctor. I had some pain last night. Now I am fine. Meet my children, my son and daughter. Both are so attached to me that they won’t leave me. They forced me to come to the hospital. By the way, I am a little short of hearing. If there is anything serious, tell my children….”
I suddenly realized that the man was stone deaf. He could have never listened to the argument of his children. His cataract prevented him from seeing their angry faces.
That moment, I could see through and appreciate God’s schemes. As you grow old, he turns your voltage down, which in turn dims your vision (call it cataract), he reduces your reception (nerve deafness), stiffens your joints (osteoarthritis) just to make sure that you take the bumps of life more comfortably.
The age related dementia is meant to make sure you forget traumatic past events quickly. Despite a bad environment, you can be happy. You see less evil, hear less evil and with your restricted mobility you perhaps do very little, evil or whatever.
The basic scheme is to make you happy!
So, take these ‘age-related-problems’ as advantages that God gives us as retirement benefits.
Grateful for this moment
With this day I complete 300 days of writing continously and publishing my works on WordPress.
Gratitude for the creativity from within and thankful for the experiences that allowed me to go into witness mode.
As a writer there is a space for thoughts to collect and flow as and when you feel like it.
This gathering of thoughts is moments of reflections in ruminations
Of life experiences
All resounding reverberations in the responses to the resonances.
Writers need to be grateful…
Writers without pressure
Are at ease to allow thoughts
To seed as they germinate
And settle as they arise in time.
A far cry from spoken words
That simply must happen
When the speaking happens
For it its often relentless in the flow
Unchangeable and undoable