Whether at work or in family or socially we all may have encountered people who are extremely difficult in behavior to the point of putting people down, having arguments and fights in every interaction.
Often in the first meeting with another, within seconds our brain is gathering information creating its impressions on them and we seem to be convinced somehow on many things about the person. Our intuitive instincts comes to play .That is where our system involuntarily associates pieces of information and puts it all together. We may be right or wrong but that’s another story.
But the truth is we know how we feel about the person. Most importantly.
when we are put in a situation, we simply know, we cannot see eye to eye with the person at all and feel we just cannot handle them.
Our body often gets into a flight or fight mode . Our stress hormones increase and our nervous system is on an overdrive. This can be often a cause for major health issues in the long run.
Clearly we feel we are not equipped to handle such a person’s energy and we may come away angry or depressed in every meeting with such people.
It is time then to read more into the equation.In such moments of frustration one thing is very clear no matter what we say or do we cannot change the other person.
They could exhibit any of this range of behavior from being non cooperative, uninterested, dominating & aggressive dismissive, prejudiced, overpowering, controlling, overwhelming, angry , and even too powerful.
There is one thing however that is still within our abilities. If we cant change them then take a look at how we can change the way we perceive them as a threat to us. And why would we want to do that?
Well we owe it to ourselves. It is our body and it is the one that is getting affected in every such situation.
So what do we do when we have to deal with such difficult people?And what can we do to reset our system.
The truth is that it is not easy facing and encountering such an environment on a regular basis. Every thing said or done seems to backfire and there is unreasonable behavior and even simple communication seems to get difficult by the day.
An immediate countermeasure is that we start with taking deep breaths.
This shifts the bodily reactions and resets it from fear to relaxation. It actually works on calming our frayed nerves and easing the body inside out by reducing the state of panic and pressure on the body to react in such circumstances. Simply put, it distracts the mind and body to channelling the rhythm and flow of energy.
Secondly we take a moment to pause and rethink how we are addressing situations ourselves.
At times we are not very inclusive.
And perhaps may have unknowingly hurt someone by our own assumptions and actions.
We need to start with using, more of ‘us’ and less of’ you ‘ when we speak.
That way we show we are in it together.
Thirdly we need to disengage and keep healthy distance if possible with people that are negative and volatile. They are simply not worth the effort or time.
Choose to see if the situation is even worth engaging and indulging in.
Counting slowly to ten still works when situations are reactive, as it would give you time off to respond mindfully and space to assess the circumstances.
And lastly ensure we give the benefit of doubt and try seeing things from their perspective and check if perhaps we could be more reasonable.
Our abilities to observe us as part of process, will help in minimizing any misinterpretation on our part. That way we become more proactive than being negative about communicating with the person.
However,there are extreme scenarios at times, when we are faced with bullies who actually are very insecure within and may also perhaps have been victims at one point of time. We then need to adopt measures that ensure personal safety and that there are witnesses before interacting with them.
So let us always remember… we are the ones who need to take the necessary steps to change for ourselves because we are the ones who are getting affected.
For ultimately we owe it to ourselves and our health is most important to us.
What’s dancing got to do with management
Oh, she is a dance teacher!
What will she know about managing a business?
This is the common perception of people in business setups. They have a dismissive attitude towards anyone who comes from a non-aligned field like arts for example.
Personally speaking, as a dance professional for more than two decades, I can certainly say that the experience trains you into a lot more than dancing. It helps develop & cultivate people skills, culture and mindsets, and the ability to empathetically understand attitudes that can be observed in life and living.
Besides, there are common skills that go beyond business management and enter life skills that one needs to navigate life effectively.
Here are a few skills that come to mind immediately…
Code of conduct
Body language awareness
Discipline and Focus
Dancing movements can open channels of flow which translates into greater energy optimization.
And each dancer may have explored the art of dancing in different forms and its application would have the potential to create a greater depth of understandings.
The value of art may be high, yet the possibilities and the potential application of art are yet undervalued and undermined.
There is so much scope in the art of movement that we can realize. It’s high time to accept that dance education and application has much to offer the world beyond just a stage performance. Great to see radical shifts in the way dance is being perceived across certain parts of the world. But it has to percolate to where all it can matter.
Time to think beyond and open up to these yet underutilized but valuable life management skills.
Would you spare a thought
For the way your appear
People spend millions
For the way they look
Beauty is big business
Image consultancy is huge now.
But would you spare a thought
On the way you make another feel
Be it in written or spoken
Have immense power
To hurt or heal
For words leave lasting impressions.
Tune in to the way you sound
Check your pitch and tone
As you speak to another
Reread the words you write
Remember words live on in eternity
Think twice and check
If what you write can make a difference
To someone somewhere
Spare a thought
As you take a step
Every step leaves a trail
That another may follow
Choose to step well.
Thoughts to action
Words to deeds
Each play a role
For all are significant
In life and living.