Savvy Raj

Live Life Lovingly!


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Effortless grace

Effortless grace is visible in a dancer,

Who even in the dynamics of great extensions in flexibility

Can manifest great ease and subtlety.

Savvy


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Power of love

Share the Power of love …

a share of hope peace trust and joy!

Let our hearts be full of hope
Let our mind be filled with peace
Let our spirit be alive with trust
Let our soul dance with joy!

Savvy Raj


Rise Again

A few musings from my mother’s heart that I feel like sharing here today!

When we walk along the path of roses, thorns are unavoidable.
It doesn’t mean we stop walking. Remove the thorns from our way and proceed further
It may hurt. But It won’t last. Let’s keep going.

Life is like a seesaw
It keeps going and down.
The fall and climb are parts of the life. Fret not if our efforts don’t yield results.
The seed needs its own time
To grow into a tree,
The buds to blossom as fragrant flowers,
The fruits and grains, to ripe to nourish
Yet till then they need all the care and nurture
So do our dreams, take its own time n
our continuous effort to become reality.

Waves fall to rise again
Leaves fall to bring
spring again
Day falls to bring a new dawn again

Arere we not a part of Nature?
We may fall, be sure we will rise again
Our dreams are the seed.
Our patience is the time
Our hard work is the nurture
Our Faith and Hope, the nourishment.

Success is waiting to be reaped.


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The Path to Resurrection

Mental /Emotional abuse in relationships:

Domestic abuse happens and it need not be only physical abuse.
In my career as a dance educator and teacher spanning two decades now, I have come across many situations of mental abuse that some of my female students experienced and shared with me in the course of time. Believe me, it is a lot more rampant than we choose to accept. Some time ago I had written an article extensively on the Dignity of the being

Back then I had brought forward a true story of my own poor house help and how she stood strong in spite of continued physical torture in the hands of an abusive alcoholic husband.

Consider this a continuation of the exercise to bring up another much undercover and consciously veiled topic… of the shades and degrees of mental and emotional harassment in the name of relationships.

Age, education, class or culture does not seem to matter. It could happen to just about anyone. In fact, some very educated women, students who were affected by such partners cut a very sorry and disheartening figure, privately after the class.

Hoping however best I could use abilities in my capacity would help, I used to hold some space and time free for them to share and express what is going on in their lives. And to make them realise the power of positive expression, in helping them know that they are not alone and helpless.

We as dance educators can be if need be and when required, a great source of support to our learners in our understanding of movement. For the body never lies, we can probably be tuned in to see which of our students needs our gentle guidance and support as well from time to time.

It hurts to see a seemingly brilliant and confident woman breakdown under the weight of abuse and harassment at home. Often they would break down to share their issues with me for want of support. In the course of listening and understanding of their frustration my abilities to counsel strengthened as I started offering supported listening for their unique predicament.

I ended up realising how no two situations are the same. And besides a dominating and subjugating nature of an individual, how alcohol or substance abuse ( even chewing tobacco)are often factors that cause aggressive behaviour other than work stress and financial worries.

Often the woman finds herself in a predicament when the aggressor’s behaviour differs like chalk and cheese between day and night. There may be mental torture inflicted under the influence of a few drinks. The reasons no matter but when words and tempers spew, unfiltered and uncontrolled especially at the fag end of the day, the victim often is clueless as to how to deal with the situation.

Often drained by sporadic and incessant attacks they end up weakened by sleeping less, tossing and turning through the night wondering what they did to hear so much insinuating words. Health issues crop up in time as the body cannot cope with the confusion. And probably without any physical evidence to show, mental torture is difficult to prove. There are not many readily accessible support groups she could go here in India as yet and for the fear of judgements she prefers to suppress her hurt.

For example…

A dominating husband has a bad day at work. He gathers up all the rage and is seething inside.
His vent becomes his wife and family and often he comes home late night in a foul mood and spews venomous hate over his loved ones. Often it may be a time when all at home are asleep at night.

The reasons or the trigger to get angry could be just about anything.
It could be about a deal that did not come through at office… which he may carry forth on the home front… it first converts to deep-rooted rage and lack of patience and tolerance in general. It could be about anything …like, not picking up the phone when he calls, it could be about the lunch sent from home, which he found had less salt, it could be about not opening the door on time, it could be about a credit card swipe at a supermarket which irks him.

After such attacks especially at night most often there is regret in the morning for the words said, but it cannot be taken back.. And pride and ego stops him from feeling or saying sorry and taking help for amending his ways. The patterns continue. Cold silence ensues on both ends for want of peace. Until things settle in the course of time only to rise again another day.

The victim is often clueless about how to help in such a situation as she is continually bombarded with her weaknesses and told that all problems arise because of her. She often takes recourse to silence as there may be extended family members staying with them or for the fear that the children would hear and get hurt further.

Dealing with anger and rage and temper tantrums.

If you are ever at the receiving end of unforeseen anger you need to brace yourself from getting hurt and affected due to sensitivity.
Especially when you are confronted with a situation where you are taken aback by someone spewing anger all over you, showering you with mean and unnecessary words and raining abuses over you for something you did not do, as well as creating a ruckus about silly things… remember your best weapon is non-retaliation.

Try as they might to get you to say something by provoking with crude words … do not engage.
There is nothing like nonengagement for handling mental and emotionally abusive relationships.
It does not mean that you accept the pain and hurt rather you are aware of what works and how it is a more sensible way to tackle such a circumstance.

Also, it helps to understand that the aggressor is perhaps suffering and doesn’t know to channel and deal with the issues at hand and perhaps takes the path of bullying, manipulating, attacking by verbally insinuating and insulting to counter the situation. Know and accept they need help too. If they have any sense left they ought to get it for their own self. Remember the saying, you can only take the horse to the water but it has to drink on its own. So accept that you are doing your best and let go of worries.

Yes, it amounts to a great degree of emotional maturity to be silent and not succumb to such provocation.

A few tips…

If you find yourself identifying with any such predicament, allow yourself to express yourself.
Take help, speak to an emotionally mature member of your immediate family

Do not suppress in the morning for you know deep inside that this can and will happen again. It is just a matter of time.
Let them know there is so much that you are going through and that you need help.
Sleep as much as you can for you might often be sleep deprived.

Take interest in what you are feeding your body, avoid junk for you might just be nutritionally deficient with all the mental tensions and conflicts.
The body needs a vent to release the contracted pain, exercise well as much as you can.

Breathing consciously deeper with awareness can calm the agitated mind.
If you can write, regularly try to maintain a journal of gratitude for all the good things that are happening with you.

Look around and notice your blessings. They will be in the form of children, friends, pets, your skills, your faith, your inner resilience or your never say die attitude.

Realise you are meant to live not just exist.

Remember there is always a way!

Remember you are full of inner strength that you can harness even in your vulnerability.
Trust that this faith in yourself will take you through!

Because you are enough for you!
Savvy

Contd.

Dynamics of Power

Read On Domination Part 1


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Temple of being

Your body is home to life.

Treat it well.

Let life live through you

Enjoy the moments in awareness

Let your words be kind and

Let your deeds be compassionate

Allow yourself to be gentle.

Speak softly and share goodwill

You are nurturing yourself this way

Your ways will affect the energy

In and around you.

Respect the space you occupy

And value your temple of being.

Savvy


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On Hiring

The Entrepreneurs,

Learn to sift through the chaff.
All your endeavours are nothing without a proactively engaged people
Invest in integrity. It goes a long way.

If you can’t find a hire you want, look around,
Give a chance to those at the office
Maybe there is someone there who has the required talent. And all they need is a bit of training.
Recognize genuine interest to do work.
Whoever it may be.
And value sincerity even if age or experiences are not on their side.
Allow people to grow, value & respect good intentions.

Treat them well without favour and
not only if they are useful for a reason and for a while.
Who knows who comes in handy.

Yes, you may be a startup but that is no excuse for not pulling up your socks.
Every bit of professionalism matters.
And make sure you practice what you preach.
Don’t lose your temper in stressful times. It leaves a mark of imbalance.

Every person on your side is a valuable addition to your enterprise.

A company is only as good as the company of people working in it.
One manship or one-man shop is never the answer
Hire positive people at all levels, not dictators and procrastinators.

And if you by chance happen to see someone, coming in daily without fail,
on their own without any excuses, and trying to do something for the better, notice them and give them training and the resources to flourish.
You will gain from not wasting their talent and time .
Respect another’s time as much as you respect yours.

Savvy


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Reach beyond knowing.

Artwork  by  Russian  Surrealist Painter Vladimir Kush




How are you going to reach the tree of knowing?
The climb is not a cake walk
It is tough to balance  on the way up or down.
You are at the base.
And yet you are not grounded.
In the knowing that sets you free.
At times you climb almost all the way.
But think twice about entering  its core
For it is demanding.

Life never comes with a planbook
All happens in the living.
All is meant to flow along the way.
Things refine or distort
To change or transform 
Into new paths of purpose.
All, a leap of faith
To reach beyond knowing.

Savvy