Savvy Raj

Live Life Lovingly!


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The Path to Resurrection

Mental /Emotional abuse in relationships:

Domestic abuse happens and it need not be only physical abuse.
In my career as a dance educator and teacher spanning two decades now, I have come across many situations of mental abuse that some of my female students experienced and shared with me in the course of time. Believe me, it is a lot more rampant than we choose to accept. Some time ago I had written an article extensively on the Dignity of the being

Back then I had brought forward a true story of my own poor house help and how she stood strong in spite of continued physical torture in the hands of an abusive alcoholic husband.

Consider this a continuation of the exercise to bring up another much undercover and consciously veiled topic… of the shades and degrees of mental and emotional harassment in the name of relationships.

Age, education, class or culture does not seem to matter. It could happen to just about anyone. In fact, some very educated women, students who were affected by such partners cut a very sorry and disheartening figure, privately after the class.

Hoping however best I could use abilities in my capacity would help, I used to hold some space and time free for them to share and express what is going on in their lives. And to make them realise the power of positive expression, in helping them know that they are not alone and helpless.

We as dance educators can be if need be and when required, a great source of support to our learners in our understanding of movement. For the body never lies, we can probably be tuned in to see which of our students needs our gentle guidance and support as well from time to time.

It hurts to see a seemingly brilliant and confident woman breakdown under the weight of abuse and harassment at home. Often they would break down to share their issues with me for want of support. In the course of listening and understanding of their frustration my abilities to counsel strengthened as I started offering supported listening for their unique predicament.

I ended up realising how no two situations are the same. And besides a dominating and subjugating nature of an individual, how alcohol or substance abuse ( even chewing tobacco)are often factors that cause aggressive behaviour other than work stress and financial worries.

Often the woman finds herself in a predicament when the aggressor’s behaviour differs like chalk and cheese between day and night. There may be mental torture inflicted under the influence of a few drinks. The reasons no matter but when words and tempers spew, unfiltered and uncontrolled especially at the fag end of the day, the victim often is clueless as to how to deal with the situation.

Often drained by sporadic and incessant attacks they end up weakened by sleeping less, tossing and turning through the night wondering what they did to hear so much insinuating words. Health issues crop up in time as the body cannot cope with the confusion. And probably without any physical evidence to show, mental torture is difficult to prove. There are not many readily accessible support groups she could go here in India as yet and for the fear of judgements she prefers to suppress her hurt.

For example…

A dominating husband has a bad day at work. He gathers up all the rage and is seething inside.
His vent becomes his wife and family and often he comes home late night in a foul mood and spews venomous hate over his loved ones. Often it may be a time when all at home are asleep at night.

The reasons or the trigger to get angry could be just about anything.
It could be about a deal that did not come through at office… which he may carry forth on the home front… it first converts to deep-rooted rage and lack of patience and tolerance in general. It could be about anything …like, not picking up the phone when he calls, it could be about the lunch sent from home, which he found had less salt, it could be about not opening the door on time, it could be about a credit card swipe at a supermarket which irks him.

After such attacks especially at night most often there is regret in the morning for the words said, but it cannot be taken back.. And pride and ego stops him from feeling or saying sorry and taking help for amending his ways. The patterns continue. Cold silence ensues on both ends for want of peace. Until things settle in the course of time only to rise again another day.

The victim is often clueless about how to help in such a situation as she is continually bombarded with her weaknesses and told that all problems arise because of her. She often takes recourse to silence as there may be extended family members staying with them or for the fear that the children would hear and get hurt further.

Dealing with anger and rage and temper tantrums.

If you are ever at the receiving end of unforeseen anger you need to brace yourself from getting hurt and affected due to sensitivity.
Especially when you are confronted with a situation where you are taken aback by someone spewing anger all over you, showering you with mean and unnecessary words and raining abuses over you for something you did not do, as well as creating a ruckus about silly things… remember your best weapon is non-retaliation.

Try as they might to get you to say something by provoking with crude words … do not engage.
There is nothing like nonengagement for handling mental and emotionally abusive relationships.
It does not mean that you accept the pain and hurt rather you are aware of what works and how it is a more sensible way to tackle such a circumstance.

Also, it helps to understand that the aggressor is perhaps suffering and doesn’t know to channel and deal with the issues at hand and perhaps takes the path of bullying, manipulating, attacking by verbally insinuating and insulting to counter the situation. Know and accept they need help too. If they have any sense left they ought to get it for their own self. Remember the saying, you can only take the horse to the water but it has to drink on its own. So accept that you are doing your best and let go of worries.

Yes, it amounts to a great degree of emotional maturity to be silent and not succumb to such provocation.

A few tips…

If you find yourself identifying with any such predicament, allow yourself to express yourself.
Take help, speak to an emotionally mature member of your immediate family

Do not suppress in the morning for you know deep inside that this can and will happen again. It is just a matter of time.
Let them know there is so much that you are going through and that you need help.
Sleep as much as you can for you might often be sleep deprived.

Take interest in what you are feeding your body, avoid junk for you might just be nutritionally deficient with all the mental tensions and conflicts.
The body needs a vent to release the contracted pain, exercise well as much as you can.

Breathing consciously deeper with awareness can calm the agitated mind.
If you can write, regularly try to maintain a journal of gratitude for all the good things that are happening with you.

Look around and notice your blessings. They will be in the form of children, friends, pets, your skills, your faith, your inner resilience or your never say die attitude.

Realise you are meant to live not just exist.

Remember there is always a way!

Remember you are full of inner strength that you can harness even in your vulnerability.
Trust that this faith in yourself will take you through!

Because you are enough for you!
Savvy

Contd.

Dynamics of Power

Read On Domination Part 1


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And Life thrives

On teaching and learning

The teacher who says he is a master
Is no master at all.

A teacher is the one who teaches
What he has learned in life…
To teach is to learn some more!

To teach is to simply impart the learning in the sharing there is learning to imbibe.

Life is after all a great teacher
As it is the nature of life that masters it all.
All are but students in the way of life.

No one is perfect
No one knows it all
No one has mastered it all
Wisdom flows from living life
Everyone is a teacher in a way
Every one is a student in a way.

Let’s all remember
To own up to ourselves
The way we are
Flawed or not
Scarred or not
But thankful as we are.
Gradually we are strengthened in gratitude.
Acknowledging the preciousness of life.
And Life thrives…

Savvy


The Strength of the Circle .

Moving in circles

The power of the circle is encapsulated in the very formation of pattern, speaking of integrity that is rooted to the center. Movements matter much more than we know or imagine…

In the energy of creation of a circle there is a changing movement is constant continuous and consistent yet structured in a pattern.

There is great learning in the flow that is enhanced in creating a deeply meditative motion steeped in dedication leads to the development of patience and perseverance. For circles are both complete and yet connected. In the strength of the circle and its reiteration lies the art of self-development.

In its spiralling form, there is inclusivity and expansivity.
In its cohesiveness is its stability and rootedness to its core.

In the evolution of the Circle is a collection of energy altering dimensions in space. This shift creates changes that can be felt and directed toward greater causes.

There is a depth of artistry and scientific understanding in exploring the potential in the circular formations.

Art by Savvy Raj

There is a spiritual connection in the drawing of mandala art or the whirling dervishes that awakens the inward journeys.

Every movement has a reason to be…

In the revolving universe the circular motion creates vortices, evokes energies that is altered in space dimensions and balanced in the flow.

There are many internal healing practices interconnecting and integrating the circulation of the breath and movement from yoga to martial arts that can awaken the dormant energy and bring it into a higher plane of consciousness, in the depth of awareness.

The strength of the circle
is in the fluidity of form as well as the stability of the structure.

In a circle is flexibility of flow
In a circle is the continuity of connection
In a circle is an integration complete and whole.

The understanding of the power of circle manifests with the awakening of the wisdom of change and of change is the eternal constant.

In knowing there is no change at all in the within and the without. All is in a flow in the river of time. Every life connects to everyone else.

All is in the alignment and such is the story of us as much as the sun moon and the stars and the spaces between, betwixt and beyond.

Using the power of the circle to create health and harmony in thoughts words and deeds brings forth goodwill and betterment of life.

Savvy


Walk on…


A reason there is for you to be born
A reason there is for things turn out so
A reason there is for all that you do
A reason there is for everything.



As you seek you understand.
There is always something more
The divine plan plays up…
In more ways than one.


Keep on your path dilegently
In faith and perseverance
Who knows how many
Will follow your lead…

Savvy


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Temple of being

Your body is home to life.

Treat it well.

Let life live through you

Enjoy the moments in awareness

Let your words be kind and

Let your deeds be compassionate

Allow yourself to be gentle.

Speak softly and share goodwill

You are nurturing yourself this way

Your ways will affect the energy

In and around you.

Respect the space you occupy

And value your temple of being.

Savvy


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Writing : A healing practice

WordPress says I have crossed 400 days of continuous writing and publishing now.

And it is a great motivation personally to me. As sometimes a few words are hard to come by and then there are times when a river of words flow…

There is so much learning in simply putting thoughts down in a structure.

In the way, they flow

In the way they arrange themselves

From our thoughts to the words

The choices of perspectives

As they appear and form

To convey what we want to say.

As I continued to write

Early every morning

I found myself creating a space for me

A time that stands still

In the silence of thoughts

And in the dance of reflections.

This time has been a dedication

For the writer in me

In unravelling and understanding

The power of love for writing

And the potential of possibilities

In patience and perseverance.

And coming away with the realization

That to write a few words every day

Whether in a poem or prose

Is truly a beautiful healing

For our mind heart and body.

Creating anything takes energy

And in expression is a release.

In contentment and intention.

In gratitude for the inspirations.

And ever grateful for the support

Extended here by my readers

And a special mention

Goes to the WordPress family

Whose encouraging likes & responses

Paved this journey of words.

Thank you🙏

Savvy


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Dynamics of Power

On Domination.

Domination is the root cause of inequality.
What is it to dominate?
Have you been ever at the receiving end?

To think of ones right over another
To assume another as valueless
To believe one has the power over another all the time
To try and stifle another’s perspectives.

To drown another’s voice from speaking out.
To choose not to hear what another says
To distance oneself in superiority.
To show the strength of money or status etc

To disrespect and disregard, another’s space.

To blame another for every little thing

To demand attention all the time.

To throw temper tantrums and have constant mood swings

To bully another into submission.
To be arrogant and egotistical.
To only think of the self and no one else.
To hurt another with criticism.

To be rude and overbearing
To be sarcastic in every conversation
To pull down another’s self-esteem
To harm another with physical strength

To manipulate another’s mind or heart
To devalue another’s efforts.
To demotivated another from self expression.
To kill another’s spirit for life.

Many of us may have been subjected to dominance in some form or another
It can be a trying time.
To be in a situation where there is truly no freedom to be.

There are many forms of domination and control. It could occur as there is financial dependence or in case of having health issues that limit mobility.

Most arise from deep insecurities that need constant assurance of power and control over things and people.

Domination happens at the workplace at schools and colleges at gyms at playgrounds and very often in relationships at home.
Often the majority of victims are women and children. Sometimes they are subjected to harassment through both physical and mental torture.

Often in the inability to make room for another in accommodation and in complete lack of tolerance…
Domination doesn’t end with one person sometimes the entire family is dominated by a single vile individual.

It is truly a difficult environment to live in under the threat of constant control.
Often times the dominant partner will manipulate subtly that others will not notice. And gradually take control of everything.

Life doesn’t seem yours at all.
It takes a strong will to break free.
To reclaim your life back again
The lesson to remember…

Never back down!

The assertion for self liberation and freedom is a journey towards resurrection.

Savvy

Read Part 2: Path to Resurrection


Creativity then and now.

It is amazing how creativity is enhanced by leaps and bounds in the age of the internet . Especially with an app ready for every possibility.

Before the internet, drawing was a skill that was an innate gift or had to be honed by years of practical training. Back then artistry was challenging and time-consuming and most of all needed patience and dedication.

Having developed a bit of interest in artistic pursuits I remember enrolling in courses to learn the art of embossing and decorating pots, learning the intricate art of henna on the hand as well as joining a fabric designing course at a very famous and leading fashion institute of those times which I truly enjoyed and excelled in. And I remember using the understanding to create and sell my artworks and being rewarded not only monetarily but also emotionally through the contentment of creativity becoming tangible. The course of learning and experiencing it all was truly very fascinating indeed.

Today I draw a parallel on how one has to know how at the touch of a phone, the apps take you through the course at the speed you want, you can erase the art you create and redo at will, as often as you fancy. And most of all your drawings get texture, special effects and animation and you can even create a live 3d model for you to touch and sense!

Technology can charm the living daylights of you indeed!

Yet there are certain senses that are not touched upon…

The feel of holding a brush of colour, it flowing on the paper, and at times may be in error and you working around it creatively.

The sense of proportion in actually mixing medium and paints and getting the right shade.

The touch of canvas or other mediums and the way it feels after the painting.

The simple satisfaction of being able to feel connected to your artwork right through it all. It creates an intimate relationship between the art and the artist.

To be fair Art today has evolved along the way, there is computer precision and ease of use through applications that take artmaking to infinite possibilities.

The potential of an artist can increase leaps and bounds and endless pieces and options of colour choices can be churned out at the touch of a few keys. Everything is customisable giving the advantage to both the artist as much as the customer.

The scope and reach of creativity through Art is definitely increasing and that is a development worth noting. Everyone can create amazing art now unlike before. And that is quite an interesting phenomenon. Knowledge is openly accessible for the user.

In spite of the amazing advantages of technology, human emotional and creative connect is yet a challenge.

But nevertheless, I have chanced upon apps that give a great sense & feel of creating art.

Sharing a few of my earlier artworks.

Savvy Raj


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Living Books



Every life is uniquely endowed with perspectives and experiences.
A living book is a human who shares his life’s stories and wisdom with willingness with another interested individual.

If the conversation is interesting the living book is read some more but if it does not meet the requirements of the individual reader, he is free to get up and find another living book to meet and connect.

Living books library concept is an interesting way to bring together learnings from life experiences directly on a one to one basis and a group setting. The conversation depends on what you want to understand and turn it towards.

Life teaches us much and every human can benefit from unedited direct soul to soulful connects where words flow at the moment.
In such connection is the transparency of truth that is glaringly stark from a book of prewritten words arranged in a format predesigned to sell in the market.

Life is so much than being a business.
In these discussions, the reader or the learner and the living book are both free to direct the course of the conversation without constraints.


Unlike a regular library of books, the human library is a gathering of humans and is event-based.

There are many functioning human book libraries all around the world today.

The concept began in  Copenhagen Denmark in 2000. The idea is to be nonjudgemental and engage in a dialogue that helps break barriers and social prejudices. The human book could be anyone who has a story to tell and is ready to share it. Or someone who has gone through any kind of discrimination and wants to share their experiences openly. 
So next time you want to explore the idea of reading a book, consider and lookout for opportunities to connect with a human book!

Savvy

 


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Dancing Stories

A dance speaks much without words.

A look, a stance, a tug, a step

There is energy playing in every move.

And energy speaks without words.

Every dancer creates energy.

Movements convey in the emoting.

The essence of the moves.

For every dance has a story!

Savvy


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On Hiring

The Entrepreneurs,

Learn to sift through the chaff.
All your endeavours are nothing without a proactively engaged people
Invest in integrity. It goes a long way.

If you can’t find a hire you want, look around,
Give a chance to those at the office
Maybe there is someone there who has the required talent. And all they need is a bit of training.
Recognize genuine interest to do work.
Whoever it may be.
And value sincerity even if age or experiences are not on their side.
Allow people to grow, value & respect good intentions.

Treat them well without favour and
not only if they are useful for a reason and for a while.
Who knows who comes in handy.

Yes, you may be a startup but that is no excuse for not pulling up your socks.
Every bit of professionalism matters.
And make sure you practice what you preach.
Don’t lose your temper in stressful times. It leaves a mark of imbalance.

Every person on your side is a valuable addition to your enterprise.

A company is only as good as the company of people working in it.
One manship or one-man shop is never the answer
Hire positive people at all levels, not dictators and procrastinators.

And if you by chance happen to see someone, coming in daily without fail,
on their own without any excuses, and trying to do something for the better, notice them and give them training and the resources to flourish.
You will gain from not wasting their talent and time .
Respect another’s time as much as you respect yours.

Savvy


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On Giving

Have written and dedicated a couple of posts earlier on the topic of Giving.

But here is my dear mother’s philosophical perspectives where she focuses on the the spiritual mindset in giving.

Dhaanam

There is a saying in Tamil.” What ur right hand gives, the left hand should not know”. True. While giving, unknowingly a little superiority, seeps in. To counter our ego secrecy n humility is needed. Giving is called Dhaanam .

There are various types of giving. It can be of anything. Money used unwanted items like clothes or other durables, food items, even sharing your knowledge is a form of giving.

Rules of Dhaanam

Giving new unused things of good quality is the best Dhaanam. This is followed in ritualistic or religious dhaanam.
Always give with humility. Never show attitude.
Give to worthy persons. Donate to needy ones. Giving shoes to a legless person is useless . It will hurt the person reminding his disability. There is a saying ‘pathiram arindhu pichai idu. ‘

While donating unwanted used items see that it can be useful for at least six months or further. Never give throw away things.

Give happily, with a full heart. Anything given with a prayer in mind and lots of goodwill at heart will bring prosperity and happiness to both the giver and receiver.

Another important aspect of giving is never to boast or keep on reminding them. Once given it ceases to be yours… The recipient has all the freedom to use it the way they want. Do not expect a life long gratitude.

Taittriya Upanishad says

Give with faith
Give with sensitivity
Give with abundance
Give with understanding

In Bhagavat Gita, Shri Krishna talks about 3 types of Dhaanam
namely Satvic, Rajasic and Tamasic.

Satvic is the one which is given to worthy persons with full humility and without expecting returns in any form.

Rajasic is the one which is given to show supremacy or expecting some favour in return.

Tamasic is the one where one gives with attitude, without respect to place n time to undeserving persons.

Vedas describes dhaanam of 4 categories.
1. Nitya dhaanam which is given daily as part of our routine without expectation.
2 Nymithika dhaanam is giving with the intention to wash away our sins.
3 Kamya dhaanam is giving with a desire to achieve some special favours.
4. Vimala dhaanam is giving with humility, devotion and without expectation of any returns.

The best dhanams are
Anna dhaanam -. Feeding the poor( It satisfies)
Vidya dhaanam Sharing ur knowledge and skill. (It increases)
Kanya dhaanam – giving a daughter in marriage. (I think it’s about letting go of a child be it a son or daughter into their next phase of life)
Raktha dhaanam and organ dhanam-. Saving one’ s life.

Keep giving.
Give wholeheartedly.
Give with a smile.

Anjana

I would simply also like to add that

True giving is when you don’t feel the weight of parting in the giving.

You never know how many lives you are unknowingly touching.

Savvy


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What’s your kind of place?

Every person has a place
On this earth that you call home
Beyond houses made of bricks
The space that is ones own
Are those that nourish and nurture you
Where you find yourself at home

A place that helps you evolve
A place that speaks to you
A place of learning and goodwill
A place that let’s you be you.
A place that is welcoming and inclusive

For me it is the vast open spaces in nature that speaks to me.

Be it the mountains the sea the sand the sky or the fields.

But I am also the happiest when I see a beautiful smooth open dancefloor

For it gives me the joy of endless possibilities of freedom to move…

What place comes to your mind if you are reading this?

Savvy


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Pearls of wisdom

For any person who is much too stressed or confused at the moment…do read this.

A rare conversation between Krishna & Today’s Arjun. Read it loud to family,
it’s one of the best message I have come across…

1. Arjun :- I can’t find free time. Life has become hectic.
Krishna:- *Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you free.*

2. Arjun :- Why has life become complicated now?
Krishna :- *Stop analyzing life… It makes it complicated. Just live it.*

3. Arjun :- Why are we then constantly unhappy?
Krishna :- *Worrying has become your habit. That’s why you are not happy.*

4. Arjun :- Why do good people always suffer?
Krishna :- *Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials, but don’t suffer.With that experience their life becomes better, not bitter.*

5. Arjun :- You mean to say such experience is useful?
Krishna :- *Yes. In every term, Experience is a hard teacher. It gives the test first and the lessons later.*

6. Arjun :- Because of so many problems, we don’t know where we are heading…
Krishna:- *If you look outside you will not know where you are heading. Look inside. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides the way.*

7. Arjun :- Does failure hurt more than moving in the right direction?
Krishna:- *Success is a measure as decided by others. Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you.*

8. Arjun :- In tough times, how do you stay motivated?
Krishna :- *Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. Always count your blessing, not what you are missing.*

9. Arjun :- What surprises you about people?
Krishna :- *When they suffer they ask, “why me?” When they prosper, they never ask “Why me?”*

10. Arjun :- How can I get the best out of life?
Krishna:- *Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear.*

11. Arjun :- One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.
Krishna:- *There are no unanswered prayers. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Life is a mystery to solve, not a problem to resolve. Trust me. Life is wonderful if you know how to live.*

Stay blessed and
Stay Happy Always…..!!!


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A voice worth listening to!

The voice within us.

Your true voice is not only the one you   speak
Your true voice is the one you may hear
If and when you care to listen
It may be just a whisper
It may be heard just by you
But it says all that you need to hear
And it may be worth listening to!


The voice within us
Speaks the truth of the being
It expresses what you may need
But do not know yet.
It guides the way
It is a heartfelt reminder
Of all things beyond the surface.
It may be wise, listening to!

Savvy