Savvy Raj

Live Life Lovingly!


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Life is…

Life is both simple and sufficient
Simplicity is hidden
In the clutter and complexity
Sufficiency is hidden
In the grace of gratitude.

Life is strengthened in stability and flexibility.

Stability is hidden
In the chaos and confusion
Flexibility is hidden
In the flow of the structure.

Life is nourished in empathy and compassion.
Empathy is hidden
In the sensing and understanding
Compassion is hidden
In the actions from the heart.

Life is nurtured in Care

Caring is hidden
In love & in goodwill.

Life is a maze of the mysterious
Life is challenging yet resilient.

Life is full of wisdom in the challenges
But wisdom is hidden
In the very truth of life and living.

Life is a puzzle that awaits solution. The solution is found in simply living it.

Savvy


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The Path to Resurrection

Mental /Emotional abuse in relationships:

Domestic abuse happens and it need not be only physical abuse.
In my career as a dance educator and teacher spanning two decades now, I have come across many situations of mental abuse that some of my female students experienced and shared with me in the course of time. Believe me, it is a lot more rampant than we choose to accept. Some time ago I had written an article extensively on the Dignity of the being

Back then I had brought forward a true story of my own poor house help and how she stood strong in spite of continued physical torture in the hands of an abusive alcoholic husband.

Consider this a continuation of the exercise to bring up another much undercover and consciously veiled topic… of the shades and degrees of mental and emotional harassment in the name of relationships.

Age, education, class or culture does not seem to matter. It could happen to just about anyone. In fact, some very educated women, students who were affected by such partners cut a very sorry and disheartening figure, privately after the class.

Hoping however best I could use abilities in my capacity would help, I used to hold some space and time free for them to share and express what is going on in their lives. And to make them realise the power of positive expression, in helping them know that they are not alone and helpless.

We as dance educators can be if need be and when required, a great source of support to our learners in our understanding of movement. For the body never lies, we can probably be tuned in to see which of our students needs our gentle guidance and support as well from time to time.

It hurts to see a seemingly brilliant and confident woman breakdown under the weight of abuse and harassment at home. Often they would break down to share their issues with me for want of support. In the course of listening and understanding of their frustration my abilities to counsel strengthened as I started offering supported listening for their unique predicament.

I ended up realising how no two situations are the same. And besides a dominating and subjugating nature of an individual, how alcohol or substance abuse ( even chewing tobacco)are often factors that cause aggressive behaviour other than work stress and financial worries.

Often the woman finds herself in a predicament when the aggressor’s behaviour differs like chalk and cheese between day and night. There may be mental torture inflicted under the influence of a few drinks. The reasons no matter but when words and tempers spew, unfiltered and uncontrolled especially at the fag end of the day, the victim often is clueless as to how to deal with the situation.

Often drained by sporadic and incessant attacks they end up weakened by sleeping less, tossing and turning through the night wondering what they did to hear so much insinuating words. Health issues crop up in time as the body cannot cope with the confusion. And probably without any physical evidence to show, mental torture is difficult to prove. There are not many readily accessible support groups she could go here in India as yet and for the fear of judgements she prefers to suppress her hurt.

For example…

A dominating husband has a bad day at work. He gathers up all the rage and is seething inside.
His vent becomes his wife and family and often he comes home late night in a foul mood and spews venomous hate over his loved ones. Often it may be a time when all at home are asleep at night.

The reasons or the trigger to get angry could be just about anything.
It could be about a deal that did not come through at office… which he may carry forth on the home front… it first converts to deep-rooted rage and lack of patience and tolerance in general. It could be about anything …like, not picking up the phone when he calls, it could be about the lunch sent from home, which he found had less salt, it could be about not opening the door on time, it could be about a credit card swipe at a supermarket which irks him.

After such attacks especially at night most often there is regret in the morning for the words said, but it cannot be taken back.. And pride and ego stops him from feeling or saying sorry and taking help for amending his ways. The patterns continue. Cold silence ensues on both ends for want of peace. Until things settle in the course of time only to rise again another day.

The victim is often clueless about how to help in such a situation as she is continually bombarded with her weaknesses and told that all problems arise because of her. She often takes recourse to silence as there may be extended family members staying with them or for the fear that the children would hear and get hurt further.

Dealing with anger and rage and temper tantrums.

If you are ever at the receiving end of unforeseen anger you need to brace yourself from getting hurt and affected due to sensitivity.
Especially when you are confronted with a situation where you are taken aback by someone spewing anger all over you, showering you with mean and unnecessary words and raining abuses over you for something you did not do, as well as creating a ruckus about silly things… remember your best weapon is non-retaliation.

Try as they might to get you to say something by provoking with crude words … do not engage.
There is nothing like nonengagement for handling mental and emotionally abusive relationships.
It does not mean that you accept the pain and hurt rather you are aware of what works and how it is a more sensible way to tackle such a circumstance.

Also, it helps to understand that the aggressor is perhaps suffering and doesn’t know to channel and deal with the issues at hand and perhaps takes the path of bullying, manipulating, attacking by verbally insinuating and insulting to counter the situation. Know and accept they need help too. If they have any sense left they ought to get it for their own self. Remember the saying, you can only take the horse to the water but it has to drink on its own. So accept that you are doing your best and let go of worries.

Yes, it amounts to a great degree of emotional maturity to be silent and not succumb to such provocation.

A few tips…

If you find yourself identifying with any such predicament, allow yourself to express yourself.
Take help, speak to an emotionally mature member of your immediate family

Do not suppress in the morning for you know deep inside that this can and will happen again. It is just a matter of time.
Let them know there is so much that you are going through and that you need help.
Sleep as much as you can for you might often be sleep deprived.

Take interest in what you are feeding your body, avoid junk for you might just be nutritionally deficient with all the mental tensions and conflicts.
The body needs a vent to release the contracted pain, exercise well as much as you can.

Breathing consciously deeper with awareness can calm the agitated mind.
If you can write, regularly try to maintain a journal of gratitude for all the good things that are happening with you.

Look around and notice your blessings. They will be in the form of children, friends, pets, your skills, your faith, your inner resilience or your never say die attitude.

Realise you are meant to live not just exist.

Remember there is always a way!

Remember you are full of inner strength that you can harness even in your vulnerability.
Trust that this faith in yourself will take you through!

Because you are enough for you!
Savvy

Contd.

Dynamics of Power

Read On Domination Part 1


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Chiseling Along The Way…

Evolution is a matter of chiseling

Of discarding the unnecessary.

Chiselling towards perfection

Weeding out the unwanted.

Until there is clarity of purpose.

Chiselling goes on cutting through

The edges of existence

To arrive at the core of the being.

That stays true to its form

The rest fall off unbound

Leaving the essence to come alive

Breathing life into the being.

Such is the act of chiselling

To reach the purpose of the being.

Each of us helps the other

Uncover the truth of our soul.

For life shapes up

As matter takes form

Igniting the spark of energy

To mould the spirit of the being.

And spirit willing we can keep on

Sculpting… the process of evolving

For the better of the world, we belong.

Revealing the meaning of life and living.

Came across this interesting picture on social media and these were my immediate thoughts.

Do care to share your thoughts.

Savvy


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Dance of the Sky

Came across my earlier painting capturing the dance of the Northern lights Aura Borealis at night from the seashore and it lead me to pen a few reflections on the dance of the sky…


Dance of the sky

What is it about the Polar lights
That compels me to travel some day
To take a chance and brave the cold?



Aurora Borealis
The dance of lights
Up in the sky.


Ethereal to behold
Waltzing colors
Enchanting vision


Of  fluctuating solar winds
In the magnetosphere
That pull you to witness


The thrilling spectacle.
Of Optical emissions
Stirring magical emotions!

Savvy


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Once upon a time

Once upon a time

Long long ago

In a far away land

Was a sweet little child

Who used to have a fairy tale book

Read to her by her dear mother

Every night as she was tucked into bed

She would hear a story from her mom

But there were clauses to this plan.

It was a given thing between the two

The story had to have a happy ending

The story includes people and animals

Or even a garden of fruits and flowers

Enchanting stories of courage and dare

Of compassion and care

Of humanity at large

In goodwill and love

Or even seemingly silly stories

Of life and living in general

Of fun and frolic.

But there was a pact between the two

Which her mother followed to the tee.

Simply there was one area

The story must not go to or be

Of things above in the sky.

Although her mother was too drawn

To explore the mystery of space…

But the little girl felt a little too lost

To fathom space and beyond

May be it was just her nature

Or perhaps there was more to it

Of why she was uncomfortable with unknown space!

Leaving a few musings in contemplation…

Are fears rational or just an illusion in the making?

What are irrational fears?

Are they there for a reason?

Do fears manifests from past lives?

Do fears eventually help us someway?

How does one overcome these fears?

Can we grow out of our little fears?

Do you have any experience of fears as a kid?

Have you chosen to outgrow them?

Have you managed to face your fears?

For life awaits on the other side of fear!

Savvy


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You Can!

Painting & Artwork by Savvy Raj

You Can!

If you only could see the myriad patterns and colors of life you will live to create

If you could believe in the vividity of the moment

If you could only sense the magic that life is meant to be

You will…

Paint your life with joy in the flow!

Unwrap this gift of life lovingly!

Just believe you can.

You can!

Savvy


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When life imitates art

Art and the Artist

Can life express without art

Can art have meaning without life

When life meets art

There are endless expansions

One knows not where life begins

And art flows…

Or art begins and life flows…

Creativity enables itself

In a flow of the infinite abundance

And never ending expressions.

Savvy

Yes, there are moments

When life imitates art,

And art emotes life!

This is one of them. Do watch.