Savvy Raj

Live Life Lovingly!


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On Speaking & Hearing

When you speak, the words are yours and the thoughts are sent outwards, so choose your words…

When you hear, the words are others and thoughts are inwards, so think positively!

Savvy


Art of Patience & Calm

Commune with the very depth of your being
Connect with your own breath
Combine with your inate sense of calm
Coexist with nature as it truly is
Cohabit with the element of balance.
Counter the imbalance with patience.

Time settles it all
The key is in waiting
For the perfect moment
Allowing the winds to blow
Chaos plays precursor to stillness
It is the nature of the circle of life.
Sounds reign before silence
Movements arise before stillness

Remember all is in flow
Equilibrium is in the equanimity
Maintaining is the art of sustenance
Let go the expectations
Things fall into place
As they are meant to .

The art of stacking or stone piling is a gift of patience and a grace of thankfulness. Every stone stacked can signify a greater intention, giving into a larger purpose. Although I personally feel we must be careful about this art by not leaving any trail marks in nature, forests as these imprints may confuse or can alter signals for many animals living there. But having said that this art is peaceful and the practice of it can be healing as well.

Creativity is challenged by patience in waiting, giving way to balance in the flow.

Have a look at these amazing artworks by this very famous stone stacking genius.

Stone Stacking Genius

One thing is very certain, it surely can teach us much about creating calm.

Savvy


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The Path to Resurrection

Mental /Emotional abuse in relationships:

Domestic abuse happens and it need not be only physical abuse.
In my career as a dance educator and teacher spanning two decades now, I have come across many situations of mental abuse that some of my female students experienced and shared with me in the course of time. Believe me, it is a lot more rampant than we choose to accept. Some time ago I had written an article extensively on the Dignity of the being

Back then I had brought forward a true story of my own poor house help and how she stood strong in spite of continued physical torture in the hands of an abusive alcoholic husband.

Consider this a continuation of the exercise to bring up another much undercover and consciously veiled topic… of the shades and degrees of mental and emotional harassment in the name of relationships.

Age, education, class or culture does not seem to matter. It could happen to just about anyone. In fact, some very educated women, students who were affected by such partners cut a very sorry and disheartening figure, privately after the class.

Hoping however best I could use abilities in my capacity would help, I used to hold some space and time free for them to share and express what is going on in their lives. And to make them realise the power of positive expression, in helping them know that they are not alone and helpless.

We as dance educators can be if need be and when required, a great source of support to our learners in our understanding of movement. For the body never lies, we can probably be tuned in to see which of our students needs our gentle guidance and support as well from time to time.

It hurts to see a seemingly brilliant and confident woman breakdown under the weight of abuse and harassment at home. Often they would break down to share their issues with me for want of support. In the course of listening and understanding of their frustration my abilities to counsel strengthened as I started offering supported listening for their unique predicament.

I ended up realising how no two situations are the same. And besides a dominating and subjugating nature of an individual, how alcohol or substance abuse ( even chewing tobacco)are often factors that cause aggressive behaviour other than work stress and financial worries.

Often the woman finds herself in a predicament when the aggressor’s behaviour differs like chalk and cheese between day and night. There may be mental torture inflicted under the influence of a few drinks. The reasons no matter but when words and tempers spew, unfiltered and uncontrolled especially at the fag end of the day, the victim often is clueless as to how to deal with the situation.

Often drained by sporadic and incessant attacks they end up weakened by sleeping less, tossing and turning through the night wondering what they did to hear so much insinuating words. Health issues crop up in time as the body cannot cope with the confusion. And probably without any physical evidence to show, mental torture is difficult to prove. There are not many readily accessible support groups she could go here in India as yet and for the fear of judgements she prefers to suppress her hurt.

For example…

A dominating husband has a bad day at work. He gathers up all the rage and is seething inside.
His vent becomes his wife and family and often he comes home late night in a foul mood and spews venomous hate over his loved ones. Often it may be a time when all at home are asleep at night.

The reasons or the trigger to get angry could be just about anything.
It could be about a deal that did not come through at office… which he may carry forth on the home front… it first converts to deep-rooted rage and lack of patience and tolerance in general. It could be about anything …like, not picking up the phone when he calls, it could be about the lunch sent from home, which he found had less salt, it could be about not opening the door on time, it could be about a credit card swipe at a supermarket which irks him.

After such attacks especially at night most often there is regret in the morning for the words said, but it cannot be taken back.. And pride and ego stops him from feeling or saying sorry and taking help for amending his ways. The patterns continue. Cold silence ensues on both ends for want of peace. Until things settle in the course of time only to rise again another day.

The victim is often clueless about how to help in such a situation as she is continually bombarded with her weaknesses and told that all problems arise because of her. She often takes recourse to silence as there may be extended family members staying with them or for the fear that the children would hear and get hurt further.

Dealing with anger and rage and temper tantrums.

If you are ever at the receiving end of unforeseen anger you need to brace yourself from getting hurt and affected due to sensitivity.
Especially when you are confronted with a situation where you are taken aback by someone spewing anger all over you, showering you with mean and unnecessary words and raining abuses over you for something you did not do, as well as creating a ruckus about silly things… remember your best weapon is non-retaliation.

Try as they might to get you to say something by provoking with crude words … do not engage.
There is nothing like nonengagement for handling mental and emotionally abusive relationships.
It does not mean that you accept the pain and hurt rather you are aware of what works and how it is a more sensible way to tackle such a circumstance.

Also, it helps to understand that the aggressor is perhaps suffering and doesn’t know to channel and deal with the issues at hand and perhaps takes the path of bullying, manipulating, attacking by verbally insinuating and insulting to counter the situation. Know and accept they need help too. If they have any sense left they ought to get it for their own self. Remember the saying, you can only take the horse to the water but it has to drink on its own. So accept that you are doing your best and let go of worries.

Yes, it amounts to a great degree of emotional maturity to be silent and not succumb to such provocation.

A few tips…

If you find yourself identifying with any such predicament, allow yourself to express yourself.
Take help, speak to an emotionally mature member of your immediate family

Do not suppress in the morning for you know deep inside that this can and will happen again. It is just a matter of time.
Let them know there is so much that you are going through and that you need help.
Sleep as much as you can for you might often be sleep deprived.

Take interest in what you are feeding your body, avoid junk for you might just be nutritionally deficient with all the mental tensions and conflicts.
The body needs a vent to release the contracted pain, exercise well as much as you can.

Breathing consciously deeper with awareness can calm the agitated mind.
If you can write, regularly try to maintain a journal of gratitude for all the good things that are happening with you.

Look around and notice your blessings. They will be in the form of children, friends, pets, your skills, your faith, your inner resilience or your never say die attitude.

Realise you are meant to live not just exist.

Remember there is always a way!

Remember you are full of inner strength that you can harness even in your vulnerability.
Trust that this faith in yourself will take you through!

Because you are enough for you!
Savvy

Contd.

Dynamics of Power

Read On Domination Part 1


Creativity then and now.

It is amazing how creativity is enhanced by leaps and bounds in the age of the internet . Especially with an app ready for every possibility.

Before the internet, drawing was a skill that was an innate gift or had to be honed by years of practical training. Back then artistry was challenging and time-consuming and most of all needed patience and dedication.

Having developed a bit of interest in artistic pursuits I remember enrolling in courses to learn the art of embossing and decorating pots, learning the intricate art of henna on the hand as well as joining a fabric designing course at a very famous and leading fashion institute of those times which I truly enjoyed and excelled in. And I remember using the understanding to create and sell my artworks and being rewarded not only monetarily but also emotionally through the contentment of creativity becoming tangible. The course of learning and experiencing it all was truly very fascinating indeed.

Today I draw a parallel on how one has to know how at the touch of a phone, the apps take you through the course at the speed you want, you can erase the art you create and redo at will, as often as you fancy. And most of all your drawings get texture, special effects and animation and you can even create a live 3d model for you to touch and sense!

Technology can charm the living daylights of you indeed!

Yet there are certain senses that are not touched upon…

The feel of holding a brush of colour, it flowing on the paper, and at times may be in error and you working around it creatively.

The sense of proportion in actually mixing medium and paints and getting the right shade.

The touch of canvas or other mediums and the way it feels after the painting.

The simple satisfaction of being able to feel connected to your artwork right through it all. It creates an intimate relationship between the art and the artist.

To be fair Art today has evolved along the way, there is computer precision and ease of use through applications that take artmaking to infinite possibilities.

The potential of an artist can increase leaps and bounds and endless pieces and options of colour choices can be churned out at the touch of a few keys. Everything is customisable giving the advantage to both the artist as much as the customer.

The scope and reach of creativity through Art is definitely increasing and that is a development worth noting. Everyone can create amazing art now unlike before. And that is quite an interesting phenomenon. Knowledge is openly accessible for the user.

In spite of the amazing advantages of technology, human emotional and creative connect is yet a challenge.

But nevertheless, I have chanced upon apps that give a great sense & feel of creating art.

Sharing a few of my earlier artworks.

Savvy Raj


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5 Tips on Anger Management


A story share on Anger Management

There was a saint, who was never affected or angry at anyone, how much ever anyone ill treated or insulted him.

His disciple was intrigued by this nature and wanted to know the secret of his calmth.

When he asked the saint, the saint patiently explains how he conquered his anger.

“I had this long time habit of meditating while sitting in an empty boat on a lake. While doing so, once when I was in deep meditation suddenly another boat hit my boat . I was so angry to know who was so careless to disturb my meditation. But when I opened my eyes in anger I saw an empty boat which was moved by the blowing wind and hit my boat. I realised my anger was unaimed as it was an empty boat .

So when ever I get angry I remembered it n think this is an empty boat too and became quiet.

Our anger affects us in 3 ways.

1.It affects our wisdom
2.It affects our body
3.It affects our behavior.

Now you know the secret of my calm nature.”

The truly strong person is not the one who controls others by physical strength, but the one who can control himself from his anger.

This simple story elucidates  the necessity of  self reflection and awareness  of the negative effects of anger on oneself  as much as others.
Anger is often a result of frustration and feeling blocked . The reactions  can escalate out of control in time.

Uncontrolled Anger ruins life and living.

Anger is  damaging  and destructive.

It is important to  break free from its vicious cycle.

Here are 5 tips for breaking free of Anger cycle.

1. Taking some ‘ me time out ‘ everyday.

2.Thinking before Speaking 

3 Practicing Forgiveness & Letting go.

4 Using Humor to Diffuse Tension

5 Using Relaxation Methods for Calming

There is a need to acknowledge  anger patterns and work on the triggers that affect. So more than prevention by suppression it is better to understand  the loss of control  of words and actions and channelize it well.
Like a  little time out for self  could be about engaging  in physical exercise,  dancing , music  gardening, any hobby or reading a book,  regular meditation or simply witnessing nature .
All are very helpful in bringing back a sense of balance in our perspectives of thinking and creating  a space between  our steps.🙂

Always remember, it is important to know it is completely ok to seek professional help to manage anger when it is affecting our life and the lives around us.

Savvy


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On trusting

A person started to walk on a rope tied between two tall towers at several hundred feet above the ground. He is slowly walking balancing a long stick in his hands. He has his son sitting on his shoulders.

Everyone down were watching him in bated breath and were tensed. He slowly reached the second tower. Everyone clapped, whistled and welcomed him. They shook hands and took selfies.

He asked the crowd “do you all think I can walk back on the same rope now from this side to that side?”. The crowd shouted, “Yes, Yes, you can”. Do you trust me he asked? They said yes, yes we are ready to bet on you.

He said okay, can anyone of you sit on my shoulder; I will take you to the other side safely.

Everyone became quiet. There was stunned silence.

Belief is different. Trust is different. For Trust, you need total surrender.

This is what we are lacking towards God in today’s world.

We believe in God. But we don’t trust Him.

🙏

On Trusting…

Trust is a matter of letting go

Letting go is a matter of faith

Faith is a matter of feeling

Feeling is a matter of knowing

Knowing is a matter of awareness

Be aware in trustfulness.

And so it goes…

Savvy


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Far and near…

Far and near…
A matter of taking a forward step
On facing your fears
What seems fearful from far
Becomes surmountable in a dare.
What appears difficult from far
Becomes easy as you go nearer.
Every step to face the obstacles
Can help overcome the challenges

Make sure to move
For then the steps taken
Is a progress from where you were
What’s surrmounted, closes the gap
Between what’s far and near
Truly a matter of movements
Take a step make a move!

Savvy