Savvy Raj

Live Life Lovingly!


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Heart of the Arts.

Created from a few drops of water

My artwork . Art of the heart. Created from few drops of water.

When I chose to study arts many years ago I chose it because I loved arts I was drawn to it just as much as I was drawn the physics of artistry or the philosophy of science. I wanted to understand more, I always felt there is so much to contemplate and discover for oneself, to discuss and reflect with one another.

Today having joyful engaged with many professional paths in my career over the years in both mainstream and offbeat tracks, I am voicing what’s in my heart.

Speaking from the Indian perspective
in those days, arts was a stream not taken by the so-called achievers, it was not for those who wanted to study management and have mainstream careers. It was way to become a future teacher or an artist. Not too many career options were thought to be open for the arts graduate. It was often ignorantly assumed that those who did not do well in Math and Science subjects will end up with the arts.

I knew then how wrong it was to segregate people into water tight compartments and more so to differentiate between subjects as unimportant and unnecessary. Unlike the times today, where every field of study has great scope… arts was given a frivolous status.
Thankfully over the years from literature to performance art from entertainment to edutainment, the range and the scope of art and its application grew to encompass a lot more.

Education suddenly realized the holistic approach to education and started integrated methods of education. With awareness came the realization that nothing exists in a vacuum.
There is interdependence in between various subjects and there are areas that are common to two different pathways. And in the intermingling new thoughts emerge and evolve in time.

Truly so, arts is interwoven in the tapestry of life and living. The way we are, the way we move and chose to flow with life everything is part of an artful flow . For life is an art in itself.

Today more than ever this very art is making life bearable.
There is a sudden leaning towards the arts, to poetry, paintings and prose, to dance and music, there are takers for all things’ art.
Perhaps as a means of entertainment, to simply sense the finer things of life in the interim period with nothing else to do. But art and its application has so much more to offer, in every season, to lift us from our banal mundane existence and creatively enrich and empower our hearts and minds with engaging experiences.
Trust art, to always deliver beyond the apparent.

Savvy


Making the most of it.

An interesting story share that conveys the importance of making the most of lifes difficult situations…. do read.

After 60 years of ideal married life , they had no secrets between each other. The wife’s only request was not to ask anything or open the wooden box she had kept in the attic. The husband respected that.

On her deathbed the wife told the husband ok. I want to tell u everything. Pl. Bring the box on the attic.

When he opened the box, there were 2 woollen dolls, his wife made and 10 lakhs. in cash.
The wife explained,when I came newly married to your house my grandmother gave a wise advice. She told never to argue with you for anything. If I’m angry she told me make a woolen doll which I was good at. I practiced that all these years.

Only 2 dolls. The husband was so happy he made his wife angry with him on only 2 occasions in theses 60 years.
What about the 10 lakhs? he asked.
Oh! That is the money I got by selling the other dolls I made.


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When Love Matters Most.

LETTER FROM A MOTHER TO A DAUGHTER …

” My dear girl, the day you realize that I’m older, I ask you to be patient , but above all , try to understand what you ‘ll be passing by . When we talk , I repeat the same thing dozens of times , do not interrupt me saying : ” You said the same thing a minute ago .” Just listen , please. Try to remember the times when you were a child and I read the same story night after night until you sleep . When I do not want to bathe , do not be angry and not encabule me . Remember when you were a kid I had to run behind you making excuses and trying to put you in the bath ? When you realize you have difficulties with new technologies , give me time to learn and not look at me that way … remember, dear , how I patiently taught you many things such as eating right , getting dressed , fix your hair and give you with the problems of everyday life … the day you see that I’m older, I ask you to be patient , but above all , try to understand what you ‘ll be passing by . If I occasionally get lost in a conversation , give me time to remember and I do not, do not be nervous , impatient or arrogant . Just remember , in your heart , that the most important thing for me is to be with you . And when I grow old and my legs do not allow me to go as fast as before , give me your hand the same way that I offered him my much in its infancy . When that day comes , do not feel sad. Just stay with me and get me while I finish my life with love . I will love and thank you for the time and joy we share. With a smile and always had immense love for you, I just want to say I love you my dear daughter. “


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Life has a way of finding itself!

The power you have.
Is the ultimate gamechanger
Doubt not its propensity
To change your destiny

Life moves on in will & design
You chart your path as you go
Your next moment is for you to intend
Keep your hopes and dreams alive

You hold the reins of happiness
You are in charge
You can steer life as you choose to
And trust yourself to find your way.

Time may seem to be flying
Faith may seem to diminish
Belief may seem to waver
But keep the hope alive in your heart

Life has a way of finding itself!

Savvy


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On Speaking & Hearing

When you speak, the words are yours and the thoughts are sent outwards, so choose your words…

When you hear, the words are others and thoughts are inwards, so think positively!

Savvy


Art of Patience & Calm

Commune with the very depth of your being
Connect with your own breath
Combine with your inate sense of calm
Coexist with nature as it truly is
Cohabit with the element of balance.
Counter the imbalance with patience.

Time settles it all
The key is in waiting
For the perfect moment
Allowing the winds to blow
Chaos plays precursor to stillness
It is the nature of the circle of life.
Sounds reign before silence
Movements arise before stillness

Remember all is in flow
Equilibrium is in the equanimity
Maintaining is the art of sustenance
Let go the expectations
Things fall into place
As they are meant to .

The art of stacking or stone piling is a gift of patience and a grace of thankfulness. Every stone stacked can signify a greater intention, giving into a larger purpose. Although I personally feel we must be careful about this art by not leaving any trail marks in nature, forests as these imprints may confuse or can alter signals for many animals living there. But having said that this art is peaceful and the practice of it can be healing as well.

Creativity is challenged by patience in waiting, giving way to balance in the flow.

Have a look at these amazing artworks by this very famous stone stacking genius.

Stone Stacking Genius

One thing is very certain, it surely can teach us much about creating calm.

Savvy


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The Path to Resurrection

Mental /Emotional abuse in relationships:

Domestic abuse happens and it need not be only physical abuse.
In my career as a dance educator and teacher spanning two decades now, I have come across many situations of mental abuse that some of my female students experienced and shared with me in the course of time. Believe me, it is a lot more rampant than we choose to accept. Some time ago I had written an article extensively on the Dignity of the being

Back then I had brought forward a true story of my own poor house help and how she stood strong in spite of continued physical torture in the hands of an abusive alcoholic husband.

Consider this a continuation of the exercise to bring up another much undercover and consciously veiled topic… of the shades and degrees of mental and emotional harassment in the name of relationships.

Age, education, class or culture does not seem to matter. It could happen to just about anyone. In fact, some very educated women, students who were affected by such partners cut a very sorry and disheartening figure, privately after the class.

Hoping however best I could use abilities in my capacity would help, I used to hold some space and time free for them to share and express what is going on in their lives. And to make them realise the power of positive expression, in helping them know that they are not alone and helpless.

We as dance educators can be if need be and when required, a great source of support to our learners in our understanding of movement. For the body never lies, we can probably be tuned in to see which of our students needs our gentle guidance and support as well from time to time.

It hurts to see a seemingly brilliant and confident woman breakdown under the weight of abuse and harassment at home. Often they would break down to share their issues with me for want of support. In the course of listening and understanding of their frustration my abilities to counsel strengthened as I started offering supported listening for their unique predicament.

I ended up realising how no two situations are the same. And besides a dominating and subjugating nature of an individual, how alcohol or substance abuse ( even chewing tobacco)are often factors that cause aggressive behaviour other than work stress and financial worries.

Often the woman finds herself in a predicament when the aggressor’s behaviour differs like chalk and cheese between day and night. There may be mental torture inflicted under the influence of a few drinks. The reasons no matter but when words and tempers spew, unfiltered and uncontrolled especially at the fag end of the day, the victim often is clueless as to how to deal with the situation.

Often drained by sporadic and incessant attacks they end up weakened by sleeping less, tossing and turning through the night wondering what they did to hear so much insinuating words. Health issues crop up in time as the body cannot cope with the confusion. And probably without any physical evidence to show, mental torture is difficult to prove. There are not many readily accessible support groups she could go here in India as yet and for the fear of judgements she prefers to suppress her hurt.

For example…

A dominating husband has a bad day at work. He gathers up all the rage and is seething inside.
His vent becomes his wife and family and often he comes home late night in a foul mood and spews venomous hate over his loved ones. Often it may be a time when all at home are asleep at night.

The reasons or the trigger to get angry could be just about anything.
It could be about a deal that did not come through at office… which he may carry forth on the home front… it first converts to deep-rooted rage and lack of patience and tolerance in general. It could be about anything …like, not picking up the phone when he calls, it could be about the lunch sent from home, which he found had less salt, it could be about not opening the door on time, it could be about a credit card swipe at a supermarket which irks him.

After such attacks especially at night most often there is regret in the morning for the words said, but it cannot be taken back.. And pride and ego stops him from feeling or saying sorry and taking help for amending his ways. The patterns continue. Cold silence ensues on both ends for want of peace. Until things settle in the course of time only to rise again another day.

The victim is often clueless about how to help in such a situation as she is continually bombarded with her weaknesses and told that all problems arise because of her. She often takes recourse to silence as there may be extended family members staying with them or for the fear that the children would hear and get hurt further.

Dealing with anger and rage and temper tantrums.

If you are ever at the receiving end of unforeseen anger you need to brace yourself from getting hurt and affected due to sensitivity.
Especially when you are confronted with a situation where you are taken aback by someone spewing anger all over you, showering you with mean and unnecessary words and raining abuses over you for something you did not do, as well as creating a ruckus about silly things… remember your best weapon is non-retaliation.

Try as they might to get you to say something by provoking with crude words … do not engage.
There is nothing like nonengagement for handling mental and emotionally abusive relationships.
It does not mean that you accept the pain and hurt rather you are aware of what works and how it is a more sensible way to tackle such a circumstance.

Also, it helps to understand that the aggressor is perhaps suffering and doesn’t know to channel and deal with the issues at hand and perhaps takes the path of bullying, manipulating, attacking by verbally insinuating and insulting to counter the situation. Know and accept they need help too. If they have any sense left they ought to get it for their own self. Remember the saying, you can only take the horse to the water but it has to drink on its own. So accept that you are doing your best and let go of worries.

Yes, it amounts to a great degree of emotional maturity to be silent and not succumb to such provocation.

A few tips…

If you find yourself identifying with any such predicament, allow yourself to express yourself.
Take help, speak to an emotionally mature member of your immediate family

Do not suppress in the morning for you know deep inside that this can and will happen again. It is just a matter of time.
Let them know there is so much that you are going through and that you need help.
Sleep as much as you can for you might often be sleep deprived.

Take interest in what you are feeding your body, avoid junk for you might just be nutritionally deficient with all the mental tensions and conflicts.
The body needs a vent to release the contracted pain, exercise well as much as you can.

Breathing consciously deeper with awareness can calm the agitated mind.
If you can write, regularly try to maintain a journal of gratitude for all the good things that are happening with you.

Look around and notice your blessings. They will be in the form of children, friends, pets, your skills, your faith, your inner resilience or your never say die attitude.

Realise you are meant to live not just exist.

Remember there is always a way!

Remember you are full of inner strength that you can harness even in your vulnerability.
Trust that this faith in yourself will take you through!

Because you are enough for you!
Savvy

Contd.

Dynamics of Power

Read On Domination Part 1