Savvy Raj

Live Life Lovingly!


2 Comments

Art of People Management

Whether at work or in family or socially we all may have encountered people who are extremely difficult in behavior to the point of putting people down, having arguments and fights in every interaction.

Often in the first meeting with another, within seconds our brain is gathering information creating its impressions on them and we seem to be convinced somehow on many things about the person. Our intuitive instincts comes to play .That is where our system involuntarily associates pieces of information and puts it all together. We may be right or wrong but that’s another story.

But the truth is we know how we feel about the person. Most importantly.
when we are put in a situation, we simply know, we cannot see eye to eye with the person at all and feel we just cannot handle them.

Our body often gets into a flight or fight mode . Our stress hormones increase and our nervous system is on an overdrive. This can be often a cause for major health issues in the long run.

Clearly we feel we are not equipped to handle such a person’s energy and we may come away angry or depressed in every meeting with such people.
It is time then to read more into the equation.In such moments of frustration one thing is very clear no matter what we say or do we cannot change the other person.

They could exhibit any of this range of behavior from being non cooperative, uninterested, dominating & aggressive dismissive, prejudiced, overpowering, controlling, overwhelming, angry , and even too powerful.

There is one thing however that is still within our abilities. If we cant change them then take a look at how we can change the way we perceive them as a threat to us. And why would we want to do that?
Well we owe it to ourselves. It is our body and it is the one that is getting affected in every such situation.

So what do we do when we have to deal with such difficult people?And what can we do to reset our system.

The truth is that it is not easy facing and encountering such an environment on a regular basis. Every thing said or done seems to backfire and there is unreasonable behavior and even simple communication seems to get difficult by the day.

An immediate countermeasure is that we start with taking deep breaths.
This shifts the bodily reactions and resets it from fear to relaxation. It actually works on calming our frayed nerves and easing the body inside out by reducing the state of panic and pressure on the body to react in such circumstances. Simply put, it distracts the mind and body to channelling the rhythm and flow of energy.

Secondly we take a moment to pause and rethink how we are addressing situations ourselves.
At times we are not very inclusive.
And perhaps may have unknowingly hurt someone by our own assumptions and actions.

We need to start with using, more of ‘us’ and less of’ you ‘ when we speak.
That way we show we are in it together.

Thirdly we need to disengage and keep healthy distance if possible with people that are negative and volatile. They are simply not worth the effort or time.
Choose to see if the situation is even worth engaging and indulging in.

Counting slowly to ten still works when situations are reactive, as it would give you time off to respond mindfully and space to assess the circumstances.

And lastly ensure we give the benefit of doubt and try seeing things from their perspective and check if perhaps we could be more reasonable.

Our abilities to observe us as part of process, will help in minimizing any misinterpretation on our part. That way we become more proactive than being negative about communicating with the person.

However,there are extreme scenarios at times, when we are faced with bullies who actually are very insecure within and may also perhaps have been victims at one point of time. We then need to adopt measures that ensure personal safety and that there are witnesses before interacting with them.

So let us always remember… we are the ones who need to take the necessary steps to change for ourselves because we are the ones who are getting affected.
For ultimately we owe it to ourselves and our health is most important to us.

Savvy


2 Comments

Handling Emotions

The Boss was retiring

Everyone had tears in their eyes on the day of his farewell.

One of the employees said,
“Sir, there is one thing we want to learn from you.
You worked here for so many years.
Leave aside about scolding your subordinates,
we have never seen you even shouting at them.

We have scolded our subordinates on the pressure of work or for other reasons.
We want to know about the seed of your patience.”

The Boss said,
“This all comes from the incident of my childhood.
My father was working as a lower-level employee in an office.

He was a very nice person.
He was respected very much in our family.

It happened one day,
I was studying in the 4th standard.
I had gone to the office of my father for some reason.

I saw that my father was not on his seat.
I waited outside.
After some time,
the door of the Boss opened, my father came out of the door.
I saw the face of my father had turned red.

He went straight to a corner and stood there looking outside through a window.

He had not seen me.
I went to him and called him slowly.
He was taken by surprise and turned back to look at me.

I saw a stream of tears flowing down his eyes.
He was slightly disturbed seeing me. He did not find time to wipe out his tears.

Can my father cry anytime?
He was the strongest man in the world for me.
It was out of my wildest imagination that someone could hurt him.

I ran straight to the room of the Boss.
Father was calling me from behind.
But, listening to nothing,
I went inside and asked the Boss,
“Why did you make my father cry?”
The Boss was also surprised.

Thereafter, my father tried to make me understand.

But, that day I had decided to take revenge on the Boss.

From that day I decided that I will study well and become a Boss one day,
but I will not make my subordinates cry anytime.

Because, they are not only the employees of my office, they are also respected and dear father or brother or somebody of their families and belong to someone important.

People say it is not possible to control others without scolding them.
I say, what is love then for?”

People who come to work are the ones who devote their best and quality time of the day to work, leaving not much time for their families. They do deserve better treatment from their surroundings._

Ships don’t sink because of the water around them; ships sink because of the water that gets in them. Don’t let what’s happening around you and your circumstances get inside you in your mind and weigh you down.

Make your life such where peace becomes your priority and no negativity can exist in your life.

*Just because you’re angry that doesn’t give you any right to be cruel.*

*Anger, on the other hand, doesn’t solve anything, it builds nothing, but it can destroy everything.*

*Neurologist claim that every time you resist acting on your anger, you’re actually rewiring your brain to be calmer and more loving.*

*The less you respond to rude, critical, argumentative people… the more peaceful your life becomes.*

*Explain your anger instead of expressing it, and you will find solutions instead of arguments.*


Leave a comment

Meeting Personalities

Meetings are great learning spaces…

Here are some interesting observations from office group meetings.

Office meetings are no different
From groups of human getting together
Human behaviour has an extensive range.
From shy to extroverted, bold to introverted
Myriad patterns of personalities
Manifest in business meetings.

There are those totally in charge
Setting the tones driving the agenda
There are those who are out to showcase skills at every opportunity.
There are others who are peacebuilders.
There are facilitators who are also great delegators.
They are resourceful in the absence of a leader.
There are those brimming with enthusiasm.
They are the ice breakers who reduce tensions.
There are the creativity enhancers.
They step beyond the box and think.
They can bring tangible and intangible to light.
They can be ambiguous or realistic in views.
There are contributors who just say a few words which make people rethink.
They may have voiced their opinion only after much thought.
There are those who blether on and on without consideration for others.
For, they love to be the centre of attention.
They forget it is a meeting with a time & agenda.

Then there are the team players who actually enjoy meetups.
They are adaptable, versatile and happy to help.
They are the bond that binds one and all.

They are juxtaposed with the reserved and silent ones.
They are those who are uncomfortable with the attention.
They are the wallflowers who may have many views but are quiet in a group.
They are great to tap into to hear alternate views.

Have you noticed those who are physically there in a meeting but yet not there?
They are lost in a realm of their own
They are wanderers who are free spirits actually.
They hate to be restrained in one space for even a while.
There is just one issue they hardly pay attention and hence may be unproductive at meetings.

Have you also met the pessimistic who always think it won’t work?
They can bring down the spirits and the morale of an entire team.
There are also the argumentative who always have a counter view without thinking.

Then come to the detail-oriented
Who never leave anything to chance.
They come prepared and are diligent.
They are at risk of seeming too intense.
They, however, can pinpoint the errors.
Their questions can bring clarity to the team.
Finally, there are those who rarely attend.
They saunter in without an agenda.
They have no idea what the meeting is all about.
They have never bothered to find out either.
They still can be channelised through proper directions.

Lastly, let’s watch out for perpetual latecomers.
They always may come in full of excuses but with the right interventions & time management skills.

They can be great contributors…

How many of these types have you observed in your office meetings?

Every person is unique, & likewise, every meeting is thus equally unique.
Through a positive approach, when utilized in the right way for the right skills…
Everyone can then, greatly contribute to the productivity of a meeting.

Savvy