Savvy Raj

Live Life Lovingly!


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Gift of Listening

Giving your attention without fear or favour and caring to understand what another is saying, before responding says a lot about the person who is listening…

Here is a true incident…

Viktor Frankl, one of the great psychiatrists of the twentieth century, survived the death camps of Nazi Germany. His little book, Man’s Search for Meaning , is one of those life-changing books that everyone should read.

Frankl once told the story of a woman who called him in the middle of the night to calmly inform him she was about to commit suicide. Frankl kept her on the phone and talked her through her depression, giving her reason after reason to carry on living. Finally she promised she would not take her life, and she kept her word.

When they later met, Frankl asked which reason had persuaded her to live?
“None of them”, she told him.
What then influenced her to go on living, he pressed?
Her answer was simple, it was Frankl’s WILLINGNESS TO LISTEN to HER in the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.

A world in which there was SOMEONE ready to listen to another’s pain seemed to her a world in which it was worthwhile to live.

Often, it is not the brilliant argument that makes the difference. Sometimes the small act of LISTENING is the GREATEST GIFT we can GIVE.

How can we choose to listen well?

What are the barriers to effective listening? How can we improve our listening abilities.

A few issues in listening well….or what is called Ineffective listening.

Distraction caused by the difference between speaking and thinking speeds in humans. So if the speaker speaks too slowly or too fast, the listeners may lose the plot.

At times the appearance or personality quirks or the environment changes can create distractions.

Distraction also causes the listener to show a lack of interest through body language like in posture of loss of eye contact.

Overcoming distractions requires keeness to improve and interest in personal development as much as a sense of commitment to the task at hand.

Here are a 5 tips for improving listening skills.

1. Restating . Pay full attention so as to be able to restate or paraphrase in your own words every once in a while, what it is that you have heard so as to make the speaker feel listened to.

2 Prompting . Use short and positive prompts by interjecting them in the pauses … to show interest like .. And then ? So ?or I know…

3.Validating .Express your empathy . Show that you understand what another is saying or going through. Acknowledge the issues faced by another or the feelings as they are speaking. It shows you are sincere in your concern.

4.Pausing . Allow for some gaps in the conversation.. it helps buy time to think for both the speaker and the listener . As it helps process the information. Silences are great tools to let go the unnecessary gibberish and loose-ended talks which may be counter- productive.

5.Shifting . Redirecting a speaker when needed by shifting the topic gradually changes the tone of the discussion which can at times get too aggressive or violent for comfort.

There are so many ways that develops the GIFT OF LISTENING .

Have also found that in practise, the art of listening well involves all of our senses.

After all the art of a great conversation lies in the ability to listen keenly and respond well than simply react.

Savvy

Personally speaking I have often been a good listener… yet I must confess that there are a few close friends to whom I have spoken who are such great listeners that they put me at ease.

It is truly wonderful to be listened to as much as to listen. There is so much healing in the listening as much as in the sharing. I take this opportunity to thank those friends and readers who cared to give me a listening ear and time.🙏

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Power of Words

An interesting read on the value of positive words as reminders.

*Your password can change your life….. lovely read*

How a Password Changed a Life…….

I was having an average morning until I sat down in front of my office computer .
“your password has expired”, a server message flashed on my screen, with instructions for changing it…
In my company we have to change passwords monthly..
I was deeply depressed after my recent divorce. Disbelief over what she had done to me was what I thought all day long ….

I remembered a tip I’d heard from my former boss. He’d said, “I’m going to use a password that is going to change my life”.

I couldn’t focus on getting things done in my current mood.. My password reminded me that I shouldn’t let myself be a victim of my recent breakup and that I was strong enough to do something about it.

I made my password – Forgive@her. I had to type this password several times every day, each time my computer would lock. Each time I came back from lunch I wrote forgive her.
The simple action changed the way I looked at my ex-wife.. That constant reminder of reconciliation led me to accept the way things happened and helped me deal with my depression..
By the time the server prompted me to change my password following month, I felt free.

The next time I had to change my password I thought about the next thing that I had to get done. My password became Quit@smoking4ever .
It motivated me to follow my goal and I was able to quit smoking.

One month later, my password became Save4trip@europe, and in three months I was able to visit Europe.

Reminders helped me materialize my goals and kept me motivated and excited, it’s sometimes difficult to come up with your next goal

Keeping at it brings great results.

After a few months my password was –
lifeis#beautiful !!! Life going to change again…

*Moral of the Story is Your Internal Talk Matters, what you tell yourself conditions you to think in that direction and you are able to witness realtime RESULTS.*

Reading this made me think more on the power of words.

There is immense power in positive affirmation.

As much as in manifestations through sincere intention.

Daily repetitions of chantings in prayer

And grace in words of gratitude.

So much for self suggestions towards well being.

The words we think ,read, speak or write all have immense power to change our ways.

Words we choose is a choice we have

Let’s care to choose well.

Savvy


4 Comments

Powers within.

Your ability to think ,imagine, create and express is a gift of life.

Your own positive thoughts create positive expressions and leaves lasting positive benefits in and around you .

Remember you are creating the future with your thoughts.

Think well. Intend well.

Just having the courage to express ourselves, we open ourselves to a vulnerable yet creative self, and that is the light in us shining through….:)

Savvy


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Work & life

Work is not all of life
And life is not all work

All is in a days work ?
I wonder if the world could see
The simplest truth of life and work.

Work has its place in life
But it must not takeover life
Treat work well meet and greet
On its terms but dont get bound by it.

The canvas of life is expansive
And yet inclusive
And work is not all.
Many facets of life bring on the shine
Each facet carrying its purpose of being.

An experience of each begets the wisdom
Make time for it all.

Work is work only if work is treated like work.
Dont abuse it. dont disregard .
Treat it with dignity own up to it
Value it as an opportunity .

Give it your best shot
Take nothing for granted
For every bit matters.
Respect work as it t comes as it is tough to live without work
Life is life only if you care to live it well
What use is life if you are not even able to
Live it
All you have is one life.

Heartbeats in every now
Every moment matters for its your life
To do all that you truly can
Every day is fresh with all the possibilities
Make life work for yourself
As you gear up to step up to life
Life will open up the path for you.

Savvy


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The other side

A BEAUTIFUL WAY OF LOOKING AT THINGS:

A Father was reading a magazine and his little daughter every now and then distracted him. To keep her busy, he tore one page on which was printed the map of the world. He tore it into pieces and asked her to go to her room and put them together to make the map again.

He was sure she would take the whole day to get it done. But the little one came back within minutes with perfect map……When he asked how she could do it so quickly, she said, “Oh…. Dad, there is a man’s face on the other side of the paper….. I made the face perfect to get the map right.” She ran outside to play leaving the father surprised.

MORAL OF THE STORY:
There is always the other side to whatever you experience in this world. Whenever we come across a challenge or a puzzling situation, look at the other side…. You will be surprised to see an easy way to tackle the problem.

A few musings…

The difference between just looking and seeing is so much in the depth and dimension of expansions in our flow of thoughts .An expansion in our acceptability and flexibility changes the seemingly complex situations to simple solutions .:)

Savvy


22 Comments

Light is just a while away

Have you felt wronged or slighted in life… don’t despair.
For nature will make it right!
There is always a system of check and balance
For the law of nature aligns it all.

Simply know it may not always be the way you may plan…
For there is a truth beyond yours
That takes much more into account
You could simply be a piece in that puzzle.

So as you face destiny in the eye
As each trying moment unfolds
As you shed those countless tears
Simply know deliverance is near.

Allay your fears
Unfetter your spirit
Bring on the trust
That better lies ahead.

There is much in this self arranging world
We are yet to understand
Endless night wakes up to the light of dawn.
And Hope springs in with the sunshine

Your worst nightmare becomes a distant memory
For times change the order of things
Life moves on as the clocks tick
For Life is circle of days and nights

Despair not my friend
Sense hope by your side
In the darkest moments
Light is just a while away.

Savvy

Written for a dear friend in dire need of trust and hope right now.

Keep the faith my friend …for faith is all there is.


13 Comments

A Relevant Message

A great message that just had to be shared . Am sure we all can resonate with this.

All I did was add some imagery to the words!

Savvy

Do share and pass the good words around.

*URGENTLY NEEDED…*
Not Blood,
But,

An ELECTRICIAN, to restore the current between people, who *do not speak* to each other anymore.

An OPTICIAN, to change the *outlook of people.*

An ARTIST, to draw *a smile* on everyone’s face.

A CONSTRUCTION WORKER, to build *a bridge* between neighbours.

A GARDENER, to cultivate *Good Thoughts.*

A PLUMBER to clear the *choked and blocked mindsets.*

A SCIENTIST to rediscover *compassion.*

A LANGUAGE TEACHER for *better communication* with each other.

Last but not the least A MATHS TEACHER, for all of us to relearn how *to count on each other.*