Savvy Raj

Live Life Lovingly!


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Gift of Listening

Giving your attention without fear or favour and caring to understand what another is saying, before responding says a lot about the person who is listening…

Here is a true incident…

Viktor Frankl, one of the great psychiatrists of the twentieth century, survived the death camps of Nazi Germany. His little book, Man’s Search for Meaning , is one of those life-changing books that everyone should read.

Frankl once told the story of a woman who called him in the middle of the night to calmly inform him she was about to commit suicide. Frankl kept her on the phone and talked her through her depression, giving her reason after reason to carry on living. Finally she promised she would not take her life, and she kept her word.

When they later met, Frankl asked which reason had persuaded her to live?
“None of them”, she told him.
What then influenced her to go on living, he pressed?
Her answer was simple, it was Frankl’s WILLINGNESS TO LISTEN to HER in the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.

A world in which there was SOMEONE ready to listen to another’s pain seemed to her a world in which it was worthwhile to live.

Often, it is not the brilliant argument that makes the difference. Sometimes the small act of LISTENING is the GREATEST GIFT we can GIVE.

How can we choose to listen well?

What are the barriers to effective listening? How can we improve our listening abilities.

A few issues in listening well….or what is called Ineffective listening.

Distraction caused by the difference between speaking and thinking speeds in humans. So if the speaker speaks too slowly or too fast, the listeners may lose the plot.

At times the appearance or personality quirks or the environment changes can create distractions.

Distraction also causes the listener to show a lack of interest through body language like in posture of loss of eye contact.

Overcoming distractions requires keeness to improve and interest in personal development as much as a sense of commitment to the task at hand.

Here are a 5 tips for improving listening skills.

1. Restating . Pay full attention so as to be able to restate or paraphrase in your own words every once in a while, what it is that you have heard so as to make the speaker feel listened to.

2 Prompting . Use short and positive prompts by interjecting them in the pauses … to show interest like .. And then ? So ?or I know…

3.Validating .Express your empathy . Show that you understand what another is saying or going through. Acknowledge the issues faced by another or the feelings as they are speaking. It shows you are sincere in your concern.

4.Pausing . Allow for some gaps in the conversation.. it helps buy time to think for both the speaker and the listener . As it helps process the information. Silences are great tools to let go the unnecessary gibberish and loose-ended talks which may be counter- productive.

5.Shifting . Redirecting a speaker when needed by shifting the topic gradually changes the tone of the discussion which can at times get too aggressive or violent for comfort.

There are so many ways that develops the GIFT OF LISTENING .

Have also found that in practise, the art of listening well involves all of our senses.

After all the art of a great conversation lies in the ability to listen keenly and respond well than simply react.

Savvy

Personally speaking I have often been a good listener… yet I must confess that there are a few close friends to whom I have spoken who are such great listeners that they put me at ease.

It is truly wonderful to be listened to as much as to listen. There is so much healing in the listening as much as in the sharing. I take this opportunity to thank those friends and readers who cared to give me a listening ear and time.🙏

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Caring To Listen

The Heart of Nature
Plays tunes for those who listen.
Pull a single chord in nature
You will hear it commune in the synchrony

Being In nature we understand
The value of balance
And we learn to trust in faith
As we inspire wonders of nature.
And a certain reverence for life.

For in respecting life in and around us
We learn to understand ourselves more.

Nature teaches us much,

If we truly care to listen.

Savvy


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On tranquillity

In sensing the tranquillity within
In knowing the sounds of silence
In flowing freely in the moment

Is the dance of wonder and awe
Of the beauty in the being …
In the bliss of the bless.

Savvy


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Conscious Independence

As we celebrate our Independence day in India, may we care to value the underlying philosophy behind the word Independence … the ability to voice our uniqueness and express our individuality amidst a global platform.

Truly, Independence is a birthright that allows us to freely express ourselves, but along with it, is a sense of responsibility, a duty to empower the within as much as the world .

Channelizing the creative flow of freedom of expression to positive outcomes for the larger good is a responsibility for every individual. It is actually the simple way to create a life of well being with in and around each of us and for the world at large .

As we are after all an interdependent world even in our states of independence…. that to me is valuing and practicing Conscious Independence.

Happy Independence Day!!!

May we always Dance the dance of independence and freedom.

May we tune ourselves to connect with joys in tandem.

May we always remember and value great souls lost in martyrdom.

May we acknowledge that the strength in the interdependence is never random.

May we always respect our roots and learn to follow our inner wisdom.

Savvy

Image credits :Artwork by Savvy Raj

Also Published on Linked in Pulse & Speaking Tree


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Stay humble

On Humility

Stay humble and grounded
Remember your roots
For they are your strength
To know tough times move on
Leaving you solid in the rooting_
Yet flexible to flow and adapt
Knowing the wisdom of humility.

Savvy


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In Striking A Balance!

Ego matters!

Ego is a sense of self-identity

Between being an asset and liability the ego drives our being.

Unmindful and ungrateful often times as such is its way!

It can interfere just as much as it can be indifferent to the being

It can alter goodwill and stall humility from expressing itself

It can change the words we were meaning to speak

It can halt a chance to commune with others

It can steer a dialogue to a monologue

It can become a bone of contention

It can rob us of cooperation and collaboration

And yet all this while a sense of ego can be a source of self-esteem

It can help a person from crumbling in a crisis

It can create a curiosity to know and acquire

It can be a strength of support in times of dire need

It can propel us to do more & achieve more

Your Ego can be your trusted aide

For it knows you more than you ever can.

It is born with you from your first breath

And plays on its course till your very last.

So the question is not about banishing but of balancing.

In striking a chord of balance between the states of being.

Mindful words from a heart full of grace,

Can be a precursor of changing ways.

A respect and regard for another’s perspective

Appreciation and value for others much as one’s own!

A few reflections on striking a balance

Accept that your ego is like your shadow

It follows where ever you go

It creates hurdles in your deeds

It can doubt and induce fear

Simply trust with your loving self

For it’s your internal guide

That leads from the heart

To let you see and know

Who you truly are!

Let your love meet your fears

It will understand the power of love

Choose to be loving and considerate

Change your track to being compassionate

Choose to avoid loose talk

Choose the virtue of generosity

Choose to be inclusive and expansive

Choose to admit your mistakes

Choose to see the world beyond the self

Choose to take your self lightly

Choose the freedom of laughter

It unshackles the chains of self-restraint

Let the self, express and entertain itself!

So allow the ego to a little space but make sure it knows its space.

Allow it to be a part of you but don’t allow it take the whole of you.

Transcending the Ego is the aspiration,

For every religion speaks of this very transcendence…

From trivial and baseline pursuits to higher consciousness.

Ego can be a tool for survival but it can be a weapon of mass destruction!

Transform it into self-improvement manoeuvre it to reconstruction.

In every deed of Giving the ego cannot be far behind for, to give itself seems so full of itself. The Giving means there is something to give an upper hand a stake a superiority if nothing else a contentment of a fulfilment. So to give seems a little egotistical in all its glorious ways.

Yet there is a transformation in every act of giving, that finds its path in the journey towards transcendence .

Savvy