My reflections on this beautiful picture…. Sun kissed leaves shine like gold Majestic tall trees lined with wisdom untold A winding woody path so green emerges in between … It beckons you onto a journey to the unknown Yet with the radiant light of the sun leading you on You know for sure you will never lose your way Basking in the beautiful morning suns ray …. Walk the path … befriend nature and dare To accept the experiences, it’s ready to share Live this moment, do not leave it for another day awaiting when the sun shall shine this glorious way … Cos Life is so much like this unknown path my friend Make the journey as the sunshine around the bend Trust yourself to be all you can be And perhaps, its awaiting you … that which you wish to see!
Self Esteem is deeply entwined with our inner confidence and the way we choose to behave in this world.
Unfortunately it is also influenced by many external factors which could be peers , family , relationships , and even state of health at the moment.
People who have a strong foundation of self esteem will tend to see the value of a life well lived.
If your feeling undermined by someone who brings you down at every opportunity, who sabotages your growth by clever manipulation you can rest assured they are not on your side. In fact they are the ones saddled with insecurities and self esteem issues and the sooner you distance yourself from such people , the better you are going to be.
No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow. Alice Walker
A few surefire ways to develop your sense of Self Esteem.
1 : Unlearn the negative patterns of thought.
2 : Create a habit of speaking mindfully
3: Choose to believe in your self worth.
4: Choose to forgive and let go baggage.
5: Keep learning & updating your skills.
Most importantly, celebrating the little things in your life makes you realise your self worth… so be a friend to yourself. It truly matters a great deal!
Giving your attention without fear or favour and caring to understand what another is saying, before responding says a lot about the person who is listening…
Here is a true incident…
Viktor Frankl, one of the great psychiatrists of the twentieth century, survived the death camps of Nazi Germany. His little book, Man’s Search for Meaning , is one of those life-changing books that everyone should read.
Frankl once told the story of a woman who called him in the middle of the night to calmly inform him she was about to commit suicide. Frankl kept her on the phone and talked her through her depression, giving her reason after reason to carry on living. Finally she promised she would not take her life, and she kept her word.
When they later met, Frankl asked which reason had persuaded her to live?
“None of them”, she told him.
What then influenced her to go on living, he pressed?
Her answer was simple, it was Frankl’s WILLINGNESS TO LISTEN to HER in the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.
A world in which there was SOMEONE ready to listen to another’s pain seemed to her a world in which it was worthwhile to live.
Often, it is not the brilliant argument that makes the difference. Sometimes the small act of LISTENING is the GREATEST GIFT we can GIVE.
How can we choose to listen well?
What are the barriers to effective listening? How can we improve our listening abilities.
A few issues in listening well….or what is called Ineffective listening.
Distraction caused by the difference between speaking and thinking speeds in humans. So if the speaker speaks too slowly or too fast, the listeners may lose the plot.
At times the appearance or personality quirks or the environment changes can create distractions.
Distraction also causes the listener to show a lack of interest through body language like in posture of loss of eye contact.
Overcoming distractions requires keeness to improve and interest in personal development as much as a sense of commitment to the task at hand.
Here are a 5 tips for improving listening skills.
1. Restating . Pay full attention so as to be able to restate or paraphrase in your own words every once in a while, what it is that you have heard so as to make the speaker feel listened to.
2 Prompting . Use short and positive prompts by interjecting them in the pauses … to show interest like .. And then ? So ?or I know…
3.Validating .Express your empathy . Show that you understand what another is saying or going through. Acknowledge the issues faced by another or the feelings as they are speaking. It shows you are sincere in your concern.
4.Pausing . Allow for some gaps in the conversation.. it helps buy time to think for both the speaker and the listener . As it helps process the information. Silences are great tools to let go the unnecessary gibberish and loose-ended talks which may be counter- productive.
5.Shifting . Redirecting a speaker when needed by shifting the topic gradually changes the tone of the discussion which can at times get too aggressive or violent for comfort.
There are so many ways that develops the GIFT OF LISTENING .
Have also found that in practise, the art of listening well involves all of our senses.
After all the art of a great conversation lies in the ability to listen keenly and respond well than simply react.
Savvy
Personally speaking I have often been a good listener… yet I must confess that there are a few close friends to whom I have spoken who are such great listeners that they put me at ease.
It is truly wonderful to be listened to as much as to listen. There is so much healing in the listening as much as in the sharing. I take this opportunity to thank those friends and readers who cared to give me a listening ear and time.🙏
As we celebrate our Independence day in India, may we care to value the underlying philosophy behind the word Independence … the ability to voice our uniqueness and express our individuality amidst a global platform.
Truly, Independence is a birthright that allows us to freely express ourselves, but along with it, is a sense of responsibility, a duty to empower the within as much as the world .
Channelizing the creative flow of freedom of expression to positive outcomes for the larger good is a responsibility for every individual. It is actually the simple way to create a life of well being with in and around each of us and for the world at large .
As we are after all an interdependent world even in our states of independence…. that to me is valuing and practicing Conscious Independence.
Happy Independence Day!!!
May we always Dance the dance of independence and freedom.
May we tune ourselves to connect with joys in tandem.
May we always remember and value great souls lost in martyrdom.
May we acknowledge that the strength in the interdependence is never random.
May we always respect our roots and learn to follow our inner wisdom.
Stay humble and grounded
Remember your roots
For they are your strength
To know tough times move on
Leaving you solid in the rooting_
Yet flexible to flow and adapt
Knowing the wisdom of humility.
Between being an asset and liability the ego drives our being.
Unmindful and ungrateful often times as such is its way!
It can interfere just as much as it can be indifferent to the being
It can alter goodwill and stall humility from expressing itself
It can change the words we were meaning to speak
It can halt a chance to commune with others
It can steer a dialogue to a monologue
It can become a bone of contention
It can rob us of cooperation and collaboration
And yet all this while a sense of ego can be a source of self-esteem
It can help a person from crumbling in a crisis
It can create a curiosity to know and acquire
It can be a strength of support in times of dire need
It can propel us to do more & achieve more
Your Ego can be your trusted aide
For it knows you more than you ever can.
It is born with you from your first breath
And plays on its course till your very last.
So the question is not about banishing but of balancing.
In striking a chord of balance between the states of being.
Mindful words from a heart full of grace,
Can be a precursor of changing ways.
A respect and regard for another’s perspective
Appreciation and value for others much as one’s own!
A few reflections on striking a balance
Accept that your ego is like your shadow
It follows where ever you go
It creates hurdles in your deeds
It can doubt and induce fear
Simply trust with your loving self
For it’s your internal guide
That leads from the heart
To let you see and know
Who you truly are!
Let your love meet your fears
It will understand the power of love
Choose to be loving and considerate
Change your track to being compassionate
Choose to avoid loose talk
Choose the virtue of generosity
Choose to be inclusive and expansive
Choose to admit your mistakes
Choose to see the world beyond the self
Choose to take your self lightly
Choose the freedom of laughter
It unshackles the chains of self-restraint
Let the self, express and entertain itself!
So allow the ego to a little space but make sure it knows its space.
Allow it to be a part of you but don’t allow it take the whole of you.
Transcending the Ego is the aspiration,
For every religion speaks of this very transcendence…
From trivial and baseline pursuits to higher consciousness.
Ego can be a tool for survival but it can be a weapon of mass destruction!
Transform it into self-improvement manoeuvre it to reconstruction.
In every deed of Giving the ego cannot be far behind for, to give itself seems so full of itself. The Giving means there is something to give an upper hand a stake a superiority if nothing else a contentment of a fulfilment. So to give seems a little egotistical in all its glorious ways.
Yet there is a transformation in every act of giving, that finds its path in the journey towards transcendence .
Is the dance of wonder and awe
Savvy Raj 