Dance is a lot like life . Here I bring forth a few simple pointers on Partner Dancing.
Important lessons in leadership are easily learned, on the dance floor…as you lead and as you follow.
They are very simple lessons and yet very powerful and contribute in making one a better dancer immediately. But more importantly it helps to know how to be a better leader in life too.
About two decades or more, Social dancing workshops and lessons in India were rarely common. We decided to do something about it and the Dance Concepts Latin &ballroom dance workshops began . We started with the basics :a Foxtrot , a Waltz , Jive , Rock n Roll and of course a Cha Cha Cha.
The idea was to teach as naturally and as simply as possible, so that the students made quick progress in learning the concepts of dancing rather than just a routine. Having had the privilege of sharing our social dancing skills with so many eager learners over the years we made a few observations … when the learners were learning the footwork side by side they would find it a breeze. But when we instructed them to join hands and dance together in an open hold some of them felt as if they were wrestling more than dancing with the lady pulling one way, while the man was pushing her another way Each had their ideas about how they should move and how it would look.
Social Dancing is a partnership, a partnership where there is a leader and a follower. Even if you don’t like to follow, to dance well together it is wise to respect the partnership rules. Learning to follow is a skill that one needs to develop and is not necessarily easy. It’s difficult as you have to do the same thing your partner is doing, except backward.
Just as important, you have to follow his lead even if it seems as if he’s going the wrong way. And thus if one learns to lead well, the partner may actually enjoy the feeling of being led than feeling yanked and shoved around.
Traditionally the man takes the lead on the dance floor. Yes, in ballroom dancing – even in these days -mostly the man leads. But roles can be and are reversed as well. After all it takes two to tango… if one leads the other follows.
Being a leader is more about sensitivity and definitely not about pushing your partner around, but to lead well, it is necessary to develop spatial awareness so you know exactly where your partner is at every moment, which foot their weight is balanced on without looking. You have to be aware of their pacing, and be mindful of the strengths, and weaknesses. And you have to take all that into consideration every time you move with a partner in your arms.
A good leader connects than controls.
Savvy
Sense what you are going to do before you do it. Just be aware of what your next step is going to be, and give your partner the signal at the right time so they can follow you gracefully. Like so in life: Having some foresight of what your life should become is like knowing what type of dance you want to do. But being a good leader requires more of you than that. It demands that you also have good ideas about the medium- and short-term tasks that are required to achieve that vision. And it means you have to communicate those ideas to your partners – those who are working closely with you to achieve your vision.
When dancing together it is very important to …
Signal your intentions with clarity. To lead well, and the way to avoid using force is to give strong, clear signals. The clearer your signals are, the easier it is to follow you. And the easier it is for your partner to follow you, the better you will look and feel together and the better they will like dancing with you.
In life: knowing what you want from your partners, colleagues etc is not enough. You have to let them know what you want them to do by communicating it to them with clarity. And most of all you have to develop the art of patience.
Lead to demonstrate your partner’s strengths.In dancing, the purpose of the leader is to lead – but the purpose of the dance itself is to enjoy the moment with your partner, each focusing on the bringing the best of each others strengths than the weaknesses…
Wise leaders hardly blame the follower when things go haphazard , which it might at times! After all exhilaration and excitement are a stones throw away from comfort zones that one might trespass at times , yet when ever the leader and the follower work in harmony … it is magnetic and mesmerizing indeed! It is then a dance beyond all expectations!
Here is a beautiful story that is worth a read and share.
A young woman was sitting at her dining table, worried about taxes to be paid, house-work to be done and to top it all, her family was coming over for Thanksgiving the next day. She was not feeling very thankful at that time. As she turned her gaze sideways, she noticed her young daughter scribbling furiously into her notebook. “My teacher asked us to write a paragraph on “Negative Thanksgiving” for homework today.” said the daughter, “She asked us to write down things that we are thankful for, things that make us feel not so good in the beginning, but turn out to be good after all.”
With curiosity, the mother peeked into the book. This is what the daughter had written:
“I’m thankful for Final Exams, because that means school is almost over. I’m thankful for bad-tasting medicine, because it helps me feel better. I’m thankful for waking up to alarm clocks, because it means I’m still alive.” It then dawned on the mother, that she had a lot of things to be thankful for! She thought again… She had to pay taxes but that meant she was fortunate to be employed. She had house-work to do but that meant she had her own home to live in. She had to cook for her family for Thanksgiving but that meant she had a family with whom she could celebrate.
Moral:We generally complain about the negative things in life but we fail to look at the positive side of it. What is the positive in your negatives?
Look at the better part of life this day and make it a great day”
If something seems to be useless to one person, there is always a possibility of so many who may find it useful.
Savvy
Often profound meaning arrives from the most mundane and the so called ordinary moments in life and living. For the truth is out in the open but our overworked brain often misses these simple truths for it chooses to search for meaning in the complexities. But what is wonderful to know is that all is never lost… for every step makes a difference matters to the whole some how somwhere.
Born free we truly are, but we learn to evolve, to move beyond the soul cages of our own being!
When we learn to appreciate the freedom that is ours for the taking, we realize its value in deep gratitude!
“Do not do this… Do not do that…” often these are the words that are entrenched in our brains in the name of effective and good rearing.
We are told for goodness sake to avoid disappointments at all costs and to stay away from failure. Often our programming is tracked for success without a doubt.
Superb indeed! A mindful way of being that acknowledges the good and disregards the bad.
Great, then where is the issue? There should be none at all! However, the reverse is the case, and often as well!
For example, a child very lovingly brought up has to experience and grow in a world of dualities.
There are all kinds of people that make up this world and varied experiences to be had in this journey of life. Preparation of exigencies is thus a necessity after all.
Acceptance and Adaptability
This is the key that we mould from within as we evolve towards unlocking the secrets to a successful life.
Dealing with what must be dealt
Bending in the flow where it is necessary
Standing up for something or someone you care
Steering through a crisis that shows up without notice
All these take nerves of steel and resilience. And never forget to smile from the heart and all of your being.
Life is like that — a taste of bitter and sweet, all spiced with the nicest surprises yet tinged with necessary learnings along the way.
Freedom is being who you are
Everything alive has a right to be all that they manifest with the uniqueness of their thoughts. There is always room for expansion while accepting another as they choose to be.
Self-imposed restrictions may be a discipline necessary for one to learn, while for another it may stifle them if forced in even small measures. Caged by its own thoughts, the soul of the being needs to set itself free from limiting self-reflections to a spectrum of colours beyond.
Break free from the soul cages of convictions that hold you in chains of restrictions and evolve with your resurrection.
Remember, the world is as free as you want it to be. Just take care that along the way, another’s joy you do not steal.
In the acceptance of the free-spiritedness of another being, there is the unshackled lightness of your own being!
Unconference, the word piqued my curiosity for a while now.
I checked it up on the internet only to find that the idea has gained tremendous momentum across the globe.
The idea of un-structuring the ingrained structure seemed interesting to say the least, in creating spaces and possibilities to honour the learning.
Suffice to say recently, when I came across an Unconference event in the local newspaper I decided I must make a visit.
The venue of this Unconference was the well known Symbiosis School of Liberal Arts in Pune. I reached just in time for the proceedings to untold.
A customary registration ensued and I was greeted by a few volunteers with a relaxed warm and welcoming attitude. Clearly, the Unconference had started right there.
The word Conference kind of stiffens people up. There is a formal attitude, a thick air of competition to perform at their very best. There are fees and strict rules to adhere to. There are super busy organisers scurrying through and tension is writ large on their faces and their bodies as well are stressed out with expectations of the outcome of the event. Suited men and women whizz through looking super important. And yes there would be a Chief Guest of honour and a coterie of important people who need VIP handling… Adherence to their whims and fancies and most importantly their speeches which may or may not be of interest to any. But all must endure as to get up and leave is an offence to the speaker.
On the contrary here, there was a prevalent free-spirited feeling in the first place that all were in it together. The sense of community always takes time to build so I stood in that room with a small group of people waiting for the (informal introductory practice,) the opening circle.
The Opening Circle :
Someone from the group had taken an initiative to design a pretty pattern made of flowers in the centre of the space and light a lamp there.
A few introductory rounds later which turned out to be icebreakers with a few games to let loose and get into the flow.
There was a board set up with a mention of few rooms and a time slot to boot. The participants were encouraged to choose to attend or conduct workshops or just wander around and network.
A few people got up to mention their workshops and claim their slot. On a moment’s impulse although I was not exactly in the right attire for a dance workshop I simply decided to go with the flow and offered a Dance connection workshop by me.
Encouraged by a decent number of participants I let the moment take the lead. As I began teaching I witnessed the flow of the energy in the exchange.
I spoke about the dance, hold, frame and positioning and started introducing them to partner dancing and some basic steps. Bit by bit people shed inhibitions as they were getting tuned into the moves.
The moment strangers began to hold hands and face one another… for many, there was harmony to be found in the mirror imaging. For after all the lead and follow were simply an extension of each other dancing as one unit.
The energy in the room turned up a notch with the Achy Breaky Heart country cha sounds of Billy Ray Cyrus for company.
All started sensing the tuning in to the rhthymic expression of music & movement with their partners at that moment.
After the dance workshop I asked what they felt in that moment and here is what they shared immediately…
Deeply grateful!
The Give and Take
Truly to immerse yourself in that which you love all you have to do is to take a step … for your own good as much as for the others.
Essentially the whole experience was to me simply about honouring life energy in all its uniqueness of expression.
Great experience being a part of this interesting initiative!
Hope to see more of such initiatives across the country and our world.
An Expression is full of intent
Full of focus and determination
Seems far removed from submission
Let alone the letting go.
And yet in the juxtaposition…
To flow with the eloquence of grace
Exists the enigma of the elusive
The surrealism of subtlety
Of approach & demeanour
Of action and intention.
For in the wisdom of every movement
Is the potential of the now…
To capture or to connect
To be bound or to blend
All is a choice within us.
You must be logged in to post a comment.