Self Esteem is deeply entwined with our inner confidence and the way we choose to behave in this world.
Unfortunately it is also influenced by many external factors which could be peers , family , relationships , and even state of health at the moment.
People who have a strong foundation of self esteem will tend to see the value of a life well lived.
If your feeling undermined by someone who brings you down at every opportunity, who sabotages your growth by clever manipulation you can rest assured they are not on your side. In fact they are the ones saddled with insecurities and self esteem issues and the sooner you distance yourself from such people , the better you are going to be.
No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow. Alice Walker
A few surefire ways to develop your sense of Self Esteem.
1 : Unlearn the negative patterns of thought.
2 : Create a habit of speaking mindfully
3: Choose to believe in your self worth.
4: Choose to forgive and let go baggage.
5: Keep learning & updating your skills.
Most importantly, celebrating the little things in your life makes you realise your self worth… so be a friend to yourself. It truly matters a great deal!
Every example stood out for me and I just had to share .. with some pictures for the same and a title.
“A seed has to undergo so much to come out of the earth with new shoots of tender leaves
Gold nuggets have to undergo much before they become beautiful ornaments
Raw diamonds and precious stones have to undergo much to get their brilliance .
A mother has to undergo so much before the birth of a wonderful life.
A rock and tree have to so much undergo before they become priceless sculptures
All things of Nature have to go through a lot of transformations before a finer end product emerges.
Never fear the blow of the hammer, the cutting of the axe, the heat of the burning fire or the hurts, pains and insults one has to bear as each blow makes them stronger, shapes them to what they are going to become. Gives them more power, value and a beautiful form.
Keep smiling. The smile and silence can unsettle the opponent.
Make each experience as a stepping stone to rise high,
A lesson to learn, to mould you to become a better, stronger, mature, independent and fearless as a person than before.
Remember there is dawn after every dusk.
Yes, your transformation will be hard. Yes, you will feel frightened, messed up and knocked down. Yes, you’ll want to stop. Yes, it’s the best work you’ll ever do.
When you dance with another, what matters most is the trust you place in yourself and your partner to dance as one unit, moving in synchrony and feeling the harmony of your beating hearts. This is the ideal connection that makes dance come alive in the moment.
Yet as much as trust is a much-needed trait in dancing as a couple, often trust takes time to build and is subjective amongst dancers.
To trust is to let go of doubt.
To trust is to allow space for growth.
To trust is to know patience in waiting.
To trust is to allow space for faith.
To trust another is not easy
For one and all.
To some, it may be very difficult.
But trust is certainly worth trying.
To trust takes effort, not assumptions.
It takes practice in time and space.
For trust can be on many levels
Emotional, mental, or physical.
Trust is built to evolve along
For in building the relationship
The foundation needs to endure
The winds of change.
Trust what trust does.
Try to pin it down.
Watch how it turns out to be
Confusing and elusive…
Before you trust, you will
Spend time sensing,
And witnessing the energy,
The tension in the transactions
Being ready for changes,
Being prepared to brave
Through disappointments and dissatisfactions
That may arise at any moment.
And yet…
Trust is not only about building
But about the ability to let go
Of worry and insecurities,
Fear and failures.
To trust is to reach out
Without any expectations
But in utter faith and belief
That you will be supported!
A dance between a couple is a blissful feeling only when there is trust in both the self and the other, just as much as the passion, as only when there is the letting go, can there be the flow manifesting itself through the movements. Savvy Raj
When wisdom knocks it is never easy… When wisdom knocks know its just the beginning When wisdom knocks be ready to be challenged When wisdom knocks know you are learning When wisdom knocks know you are meant to learn When wisdom knocks be open to understand When wisdom knocks it opens many doors
When wisdom knocks know be ready to experience the now When wisdom knocks be ready to dare When wisdom knocks be ready to acknowledge When wisdom knocks be ready to respect When wisdom knocks be ready to witness When wisdom knocks be ready to accept When wisdom knocks be ready to gain When wisdom knocks be ready to let go When wisdom knocks know the value of balance
When wisdom knocks know your own equanimity When wisdom knocks be ready to know your self When wisdom knocks know there is something beyond your self When wisdom knocks be aware of the greater purpose When wisdom knocks become willing to understand beyond…
When wisdom knocks know it seeks you When wisdom knocks know there is always a reason When wisdom knocks trust yourself When wisdom knocks keep the faith When wisdom knocks know you are in the path of awakening.
When wisdom knocks be ready to accept responsibility When wisdom knocks know you are strengthened in spirit and soul. When wisdom knocks know you are on your path. When wisdom knocks know you are blessed When wisdom knocks know you are enough for you!.
There are many knocks of wisdom… Each unique in its potential lesson To learn to see the now in every moment Every knock of wisdom leaves imprints in the spirit of the soul. Are you ready?
Savvy
Giving your attention without fear or favour and caring to understand what another is saying, before responding says a lot about the person who is listening…
Here is a true incident…
Viktor Frankl, one of the great psychiatrists of the twentieth century, survived the death camps of Nazi Germany. His little book, Man’s Search for Meaning , is one of those life-changing books that everyone should read.
Frankl once told the story of a woman who called him in the middle of the night to calmly inform him she was about to commit suicide. Frankl kept her on the phone and talked her through her depression, giving her reason after reason to carry on living. Finally she promised she would not take her life, and she kept her word.
When they later met, Frankl asked which reason had persuaded her to live?
“None of them”, she told him.
What then influenced her to go on living, he pressed?
Her answer was simple, it was Frankl’s WILLINGNESS TO LISTEN to HER in the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.
A world in which there was SOMEONE ready to listen to another’s pain seemed to her a world in which it was worthwhile to live.
Often, it is not the brilliant argument that makes the difference. Sometimes the small act of LISTENING is the GREATEST GIFT we can GIVE.
How can we choose to listen well?
What are the barriers to effective listening? How can we improve our listening abilities.
A few issues in listening well….or what is called Ineffective listening.
Distraction caused by the difference between speaking and thinking speeds in humans. So if the speaker speaks too slowly or too fast, the listeners may lose the plot.
At times the appearance or personality quirks or the environment changes can create distractions.
Distraction also causes the listener to show a lack of interest through body language like in posture of loss of eye contact.
Overcoming distractions requires keeness to improve and interest in personal development as much as a sense of commitment to the task at hand.
Here are a 5 tips for improving listening skills.
1. Restating . Pay full attention so as to be able to restate or paraphrase in your own words every once in a while, what it is that you have heard so as to make the speaker feel listened to.
2 Prompting . Use short and positive prompts by interjecting them in the pauses … to show interest like .. And then ? So ?or I know…
3.Validating .Express your empathy . Show that you understand what another is saying or going through. Acknowledge the issues faced by another or the feelings as they are speaking. It shows you are sincere in your concern.
4.Pausing . Allow for some gaps in the conversation.. it helps buy time to think for both the speaker and the listener . As it helps process the information. Silences are great tools to let go the unnecessary gibberish and loose-ended talks which may be counter- productive.
5.Shifting . Redirecting a speaker when needed by shifting the topic gradually changes the tone of the discussion which can at times get too aggressive or violent for comfort.
There are so many ways that develops the GIFT OF LISTENING .
Have also found that in practise, the art of listening well involves all of our senses.
After all the art of a great conversation lies in the ability to listen keenly and respond well than simply react.
Savvy
Personally speaking I have often been a good listener… yet I must confess that there are a few close friends to whom I have spoken who are such great listeners that they put me at ease.
It is truly wonderful to be listened to as much as to listen. There is so much healing in the listening as much as in the sharing. I take this opportunity to thank those friends and readers who cared to give me a listening ear and time.🙏
Ups and downs are part of life they say, But if you have ever been in the shoes of an entrepreneur Check out life on the other side Where pitfalls and catapults are happenings of every day!
Easier said than done, get married to one And watch the brewing storms and tumults of every moment. Staying centered is the name of the game Play on, as fame and shame are small matters under the sun…
Just know in your heart to trust the moment Live it with love and enjoy this now Cos worrying is never the path to take For it traverses on, a test of will in the torment.
Change is the only constant they say and its best manifested in the life of an entrepreneur…
One of the important lessons in living with an entrepreneur… that I can pass on…
Well take nothing for granted
Neither the gains nor the pitfalls.
Everything is in a flux.
So enjoy the moment at hand
And happiness is in your heart!
Savvy
Sounds so wonderful to say I have my own company, or I am the Founder ….
But chew on this a while ….before you bite
Entrepreneurs are a breed apart
They strive for and thrive on success.
Of late the world seems a breeding ground for entrepreneurs and their dream what with almost every one dreaming to become one . Yet the price of startups in scaffolding years leads to so much learnings through it all.
Yes amazing is the feeling of being the boss, where you think you have it all taken care of and you have mastered your game… but then being at the healm of things has so much more at stake! Like never ending work hours , overt commitment workholism, insecurities,and relentless tensionand stress and most of all the looming responsibility of raising funds.
You realise you have to answer to your investors and funders . Your liability is your own conscience Your success is like a game of chances. The laws can make or break you in no time!
Your peace is at stake and your family takes a backseat most often, as you have so much to prove every day!
Your time is not your own but your companies ….and you realise it all only too late.
It certainly is not for the weakhearted as the pressures that surmount to stay at the healm can challenge the strongest minds.
I wrote this as I have personally witnessed the price of the entrepreneurial dream upclose. In the ups and downs the journey goes on , as ironically, these bravehearts never back down!
The static and the dynamic are both a dance of stillness and movement in the river of time. There is both the overlay of stillness in the movements . And the underlying movements in the stillness.
Imagination traverses far Moving dimensions Mirroring and blending Adapting and creating Both the invisible and visible Energy in the stillness Energy in the motion Orcherstrated in the flow
In the duality is the oneness
And the rhythms of life and living. All unifying in the circle of life
As a dance educator and trainer…while teaching and sharing social dancing skills one of the important learnings we work on is the understanding of the art of leading and following. Both very significant for any kind of partner dancing as much as in life itself. After all, life is a dance and dance imitates life!
In the first place, what does it take to be a leader? Many things but most importantly, a follower. So simply put, there must be a follower to be a leader. There can be no leader without a follower and there certainly would be no follower without a leader.
Dancing together is a lesson in leading and following in partnership!
In such a perspective both the leader and follower in the dance have a relevant role to play, that of completing the dance successfully and like so in life as well.
A dance can teach a lot about leadership and here are a few reflections on what it is to lead…
To lead is an opportunity to honour the trust of a follower.
To lead is to light the flame of inspiration to win the vote of trust of the followers.
To lead is to have a strength of purpose that inspires confidence.
To lead is to allow yourself to make decisions for others to evolve along.
To lead is to accept the responsibility of mistakes.
To lead is to maintain a decorum of standards unflinchingly.
To lead is to believe you can!
To lead is to be led by a greater purpose.
To lead is to value the laws of nature.
To lead is to value the need for self expression while respecting the need for structure.
To lead is to better the followers and not beat them down at every opportunity.
To lead is to be able to collaborate and learn just as much as to compete.
To lead is to denote respect and not expect overt attention.
To lead is to show the way for others to follow.
To lead to work tirelessly with a sense of inner commitment without hesitation without expectation.
To lead is to muster the resilience of the spirit.
To lead is to endow the spirit of courage in others.
To lead is take into account the potential of all possibilities.
Savvy
Do share your take on leadership. I would be keen to understand how you see it impacting your life and work.
The strength of support and flow of movements while dancing together is based on the connection established and that marks the quality of leadership in question.
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