Self Esteem is deeply entwined with our inner confidence and the way we choose to behave in this world.
Unfortunately it is also influenced by many external factors which could be peers , family , relationships , and even state of health at the moment.
People who have a strong foundation of self esteem will tend to see the value of a life well lived.
If your feeling undermined by someone who brings you down at every opportunity, who sabotages your growth by clever manipulation you can rest assured they are not on your side. In fact they are the ones saddled with insecurities and self esteem issues and the sooner you distance yourself from such people , the better you are going to be.
No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow. Alice Walker
A few surefire ways to develop your sense of Self Esteem.
1 : Unlearn the negative patterns of thought.
2 : Create a habit of speaking mindfully
3: Choose to believe in your self worth.
4: Choose to forgive and let go baggage.
5: Keep learning & updating your skills.
Most importantly, celebrating the little things in your life makes you realise your self worth… so be a friend to yourself. It truly matters a great deal!
‘To dance is to be able to glide as if you are as light as the air and soar in grace, as you feel the wind enveloping yet beckoning you to scale new heights of harmonious effusion’.
An old student from years ago, and a doctor by profession sent this forward below on the benefits of dance today, saying he saw this and remembered me. I was truly touched.🙂
Yes my years spent teaching dancing have been truly rewarding and continues to enrich creatively in every moment .
I remembered writing and conducting workshops on this very subject of dance application and health enrichments many years ago and had called it’ Just a dance every day’!
Glad to share it here with great joy… And I thank my student & dear Doctor friend for remembering me after all these years.
Dancing has the ability to change the inner you for the better with external movements. MRI Scans shows that the same neurons are fired when you watch some one else dance , as it would if you are dancing yourself .
Dancing also fosters empathy, elevates mood and has the power to spread smiles….making people experience emotions which they may have never felt possible too.
In a study conducted in Italy on cardiac patients who took waltz classes not only did they develop healthier arteries,and reducing of blockages , but also reported to be in much better spirit than those who took exercise classes like cycling and treadmill..
The expressive aspect of dance releases pent up emotion and is godsend for those who find it difficult to communicate verbally.
As actions at times speaks louder than words dancers can simply bring out what they want to say in the movements.Thus dancing restores the equilibrium of the mind and body .
Dancing with a partner makes you think beyond yourself and empathise with another. Everyday if you are able to get some time to dance a bit, its a beautiful holistic way that helps in paving the way to a happy healthy, healing harmonious you.
Mindfulness is always a work in progress… It is a continuous journey in awareness, not just a destination.
It is a cultivation of appreciation for life and living in every moment…
To meet & see things as they are
To have an awareness of the self and another.
To integrate the mind and body
To know all is deeply connected
To acknowledge the arising perspectives as part of the flow.
To value the spaces between the steps
To respond than react.
To create a habit to be in a witness mode.
To have patience in waiting.
To sense the awareness of the oneness.
To feel safe and supported
To develop space to be content and connected.
To be glad for no particular reason.
To live with awareness than simply exist in the moment.
When you dance with another, what matters most is the trust you place in yourself and your partner to dance as one unit, moving in synchrony and feeling the harmony of your beating hearts. This is the ideal connection that makes dance come alive in the moment.
Yet as much as trust is a much-needed trait in dancing as a couple, often trust takes time to build and is subjective amongst dancers.
To trust is to let go of doubt.
To trust is to allow space for growth.
To trust is to know patience in waiting.
To trust is to allow space for faith.
To trust another is not easy
For one and all.
To some, it may be very difficult.
But trust is certainly worth trying.
To trust takes effort, not assumptions.
It takes practice in time and space.
For trust can be on many levels
Emotional, mental, or physical.
Trust is built to evolve along
For in building the relationship
The foundation needs to endure
The winds of change.
Trust what trust does.
Try to pin it down.
Watch how it turns out to be
Confusing and elusive…
Before you trust, you will
Spend time sensing,
And witnessing the energy,
The tension in the transactions
Being ready for changes,
Being prepared to brave
Through disappointments and dissatisfactions
That may arise at any moment.
And yet…
Trust is not only about building
But about the ability to let go
Of worry and insecurities,
Fear and failures.
To trust is to reach out
Without any expectations
But in utter faith and belief
That you will be supported!
A dance between a couple is a blissful feeling only when there is trust in both the self and the other, just as much as the passion, as only when there is the letting go, can there be the flow manifesting itself through the movements. Savvy Raj
When wisdom knocks it is never easy… When wisdom knocks know its just the beginning When wisdom knocks be ready to be challenged When wisdom knocks know you are learning When wisdom knocks know you are meant to learn When wisdom knocks be open to understand When wisdom knocks it opens many doors
When wisdom knocks know be ready to experience the now When wisdom knocks be ready to dare When wisdom knocks be ready to acknowledge When wisdom knocks be ready to respect When wisdom knocks be ready to witness When wisdom knocks be ready to accept When wisdom knocks be ready to gain When wisdom knocks be ready to let go When wisdom knocks know the value of balance
When wisdom knocks know your own equanimity When wisdom knocks be ready to know your self When wisdom knocks know there is something beyond your self When wisdom knocks be aware of the greater purpose When wisdom knocks become willing to understand beyond…
When wisdom knocks know it seeks you When wisdom knocks know there is always a reason When wisdom knocks trust yourself When wisdom knocks keep the faith When wisdom knocks know you are in the path of awakening.
When wisdom knocks be ready to accept responsibility When wisdom knocks know you are strengthened in spirit and soul. When wisdom knocks know you are on your path. When wisdom knocks know you are blessed When wisdom knocks know you are enough for you!.
There are many knocks of wisdom… Each unique in its potential lesson To learn to see the now in every moment Every knock of wisdom leaves imprints in the spirit of the soul. Are you ready?
Savvy
Giving your attention without fear or favour and caring to understand what another is saying, before responding says a lot about the person who is listening…
Here is a true incident…
Viktor Frankl, one of the great psychiatrists of the twentieth century, survived the death camps of Nazi Germany. His little book, Man’s Search for Meaning , is one of those life-changing books that everyone should read.
Frankl once told the story of a woman who called him in the middle of the night to calmly inform him she was about to commit suicide. Frankl kept her on the phone and talked her through her depression, giving her reason after reason to carry on living. Finally she promised she would not take her life, and she kept her word.
When they later met, Frankl asked which reason had persuaded her to live?
“None of them”, she told him.
What then influenced her to go on living, he pressed?
Her answer was simple, it was Frankl’s WILLINGNESS TO LISTEN to HER in the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.
A world in which there was SOMEONE ready to listen to another’s pain seemed to her a world in which it was worthwhile to live.
Often, it is not the brilliant argument that makes the difference. Sometimes the small act of LISTENING is the GREATEST GIFT we can GIVE.
How can we choose to listen well?
What are the barriers to effective listening? How can we improve our listening abilities.
A few issues in listening well….or what is called Ineffective listening.
Distraction caused by the difference between speaking and thinking speeds in humans. So if the speaker speaks too slowly or too fast, the listeners may lose the plot.
At times the appearance or personality quirks or the environment changes can create distractions.
Distraction also causes the listener to show a lack of interest through body language like in posture of loss of eye contact.
Overcoming distractions requires keeness to improve and interest in personal development as much as a sense of commitment to the task at hand.
Here are a 5 tips for improving listening skills.
1. Restating . Pay full attention so as to be able to restate or paraphrase in your own words every once in a while, what it is that you have heard so as to make the speaker feel listened to.
2 Prompting . Use short and positive prompts by interjecting them in the pauses … to show interest like .. And then ? So ?or I know…
3.Validating .Express your empathy . Show that you understand what another is saying or going through. Acknowledge the issues faced by another or the feelings as they are speaking. It shows you are sincere in your concern.
4.Pausing . Allow for some gaps in the conversation.. it helps buy time to think for both the speaker and the listener . As it helps process the information. Silences are great tools to let go the unnecessary gibberish and loose-ended talks which may be counter- productive.
5.Shifting . Redirecting a speaker when needed by shifting the topic gradually changes the tone of the discussion which can at times get too aggressive or violent for comfort.
There are so many ways that develops the GIFT OF LISTENING .
Have also found that in practise, the art of listening well involves all of our senses.
After all the art of a great conversation lies in the ability to listen keenly and respond well than simply react.
Savvy
Personally speaking I have often been a good listener… yet I must confess that there are a few close friends to whom I have spoken who are such great listeners that they put me at ease.
It is truly wonderful to be listened to as much as to listen. There is so much healing in the listening as much as in the sharing. I take this opportunity to thank those friends and readers who cared to give me a listening ear and time.🙏
As a dance educator and trainer…while teaching and sharing social dancing skills one of the important learnings we work on is the understanding of the art of leading and following. Both very significant for any kind of partner dancing as much as in life itself. After all, life is a dance and dance imitates life!
In the first place, what does it take to be a leader? Many things but most importantly, a follower. So simply put, there must be a follower to be a leader. There can be no leader without a follower and there certainly would be no follower without a leader.
Dancing together is a lesson in leading and following in partnership!
In such a perspective both the leader and follower in the dance have a relevant role to play, that of completing the dance successfully and like so in life as well.
A dance can teach a lot about leadership and here are a few reflections on what it is to lead…
To lead is an opportunity to honour the trust of a follower.
To lead is to light the flame of inspiration to win the vote of trust of the followers.
To lead is to have a strength of purpose that inspires confidence.
To lead is to allow yourself to make decisions for others to evolve along.
To lead is to accept the responsibility of mistakes.
To lead is to maintain a decorum of standards unflinchingly.
To lead is to believe you can!
To lead is to be led by a greater purpose.
To lead is to value the laws of nature.
To lead is to value the need for self expression while respecting the need for structure.
To lead is to better the followers and not beat them down at every opportunity.
To lead is to be able to collaborate and learn just as much as to compete.
To lead is to denote respect and not expect overt attention.
To lead is to show the way for others to follow.
To lead to work tirelessly with a sense of inner commitment without hesitation without expectation.
To lead is to muster the resilience of the spirit.
To lead is to endow the spirit of courage in others.
To lead is take into account the potential of all possibilities.
Savvy
Do share your take on leadership. I would be keen to understand how you see it impacting your life and work.
The strength of support and flow of movements while dancing together is based on the connection established and that marks the quality of leadership in question.
Knowledge needs constant upgrades
Savvy Raj 
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