An interesting quote on relationships I read this morning…
The relationship between commitment and doubt is by no means an antagonistic one. Commitment is healthiest when it’s not without doubt but in spite of doubt.
Rollo May
As I reflected on the above words a few thoughts came to me…
On life and relationships
Is there an interplay of doubt and commitment?
Is there commitment when in doubt?
What happens when doubt creeps in the committed?
Whenever they intersect there are conflicts
Whether at opposition or not
Both are in thoughts
Dashing from one extreme to another
At times contradicting at times rationalising
And returning back to apparent normalcy
When doubt dances in, commitment feels the burn
When commitment is strong, doubt rests on the back burner.
Have always felt there needs to be trust in a relationship as much as compromise else even the strongest of relationships fall apart.
I have received this poem below through a social media forward.
And I think I needed to read it today.
It put many things in perspective.
You see, there have been some small and inexpensive things missing at home . We have two house helpers And I was not sure who is the culprit.
They have been with us for a while and I have senior parents who live at home so I was letting it go and keep calm, because it was easier as it was causing a lot of unnecessary confusion and doubt.
In the meantime two months ago I replaced one of them. And I had felt a sense of relief somehow. And today the other is about to go on leave for the customary annual holiday. It will mean a lot of work for me personally until I find a helper. Yet I have been feeling positive that better is happening and all is for a good reason. Sometimes we grin and bear for the fear of changing statesquo…
While I cannot get my lost things as I have no proof, I think I needed a calm perspective to help me find me a way…
While I do believe that we must take action on that which is within our control , these words touched a chord in me..
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
Meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
As a Ballroom dance lover and teacher I have worn heels to teach, but in time I stopped wearing high heels.
While competition dances may have the specific shoes as a necessity, teaching people of all ages and from all walks of life to dance, it becomes imperative to care to teach them to dance safe.
Dancing must be enjoyable not cumbersome . If you are the kind who would like a bit of heel , do wear for you own joy once in a while ,but do take care of your feet in the longer run.
Many women wear heels to dance but pay a huge price in terms of their health especially if it’s uncomfortable to them.
Over the years, I have been dancing many Latin dances and teaching them without high heels as I realise it’s just an accessory and not a necessity . There are many smooth soled shoes without resorting to stilettos which works out just fine, than high heels.
While many feel high heels gives confidence and gait which seems attractive truly it’s just a commercial phenomenon.
A great pair of dancing shoes must support your feet and ankles, while moving in any directions and give a smooth momentum for your turns, flicks and swivels.
If you are a dancer or have danced in heels what are your experiences, do share.
The vibrancy of nature The adaptability of creation The constancy of change The arresting colours Unshackling of spirit The inter connections Soulful vibes and sounds Imparting wisdom profound And not to forget The enthralling views Are all things I love about nature What about you?
Every emotion you are feeling has a connection to an experience.
Here is a little exercise that can help you understand your emotions and feelings as well as shift perspectives to positive thinking.
As and when, you observe your emotions, ask yourself a few questions. And as the answers come to you, write it down in your own words.
Fear : A base instinct that sometimes gets the better of us and makes living difficult.
Ask yourself, what is this fear?
Then ask yourself, what can I do to get to step beyond this fear?
And how can I address this objectively? Write it down.
Shame : Question yourself why and where did you feel inadequate in meeting set expectations?
Then ask who has set the expectations and work how you can grow beyond this limiting experience in expectation.
Guilt : Ask yourself if you have inner conflicts of values that’s bothering you. Your guilt trips are often deeply connected to your actions that crossed over your ingrained values. Reflect on on understanding yourself.
Sadness : Often sadness has an unfulfilled expectation or loss attached. Question what they are and then work on inculcating a regular practice of journalling your feelings. Additionally find a way to connect with dear caring friend with a listening attitude and share from your heart. It helps.
Anxiety : Question the self to check if what makes you anxious is within your line of control. It will clarify whether worrying helps at all…and helps you attend to that which you can do something about
Envy : Going green with envy is all about your unmet goals or aspirations and unfulfilled desires. Question your self , can I make this envy work for me to acheive my personal goals. Can my envy motivate me instead .Refraining helps .
Frustration Question what do I can so deeply about that I feel this way.
What will I stand to lose and how can I go about future proofing or safeguarding it in my capacity for it .
Anger : Questioning the root cause of anger will often throw light on an invasion of personal space imagined or real.
Objective reflection helps understand what boundaries have been encroached or eroded upon.
The shift of perspectives through self reflection, gives you a moment of clarity . It makes you sense possibilities beyond the obvious. This shift of thinking bridges gaps between different cultures, generations, creates openness, restores relationships and renews hope if you care. For you begin to reframe and understand emotions and able to manage it better.
I wrote this poem back in time after an unexpected opportunity to travel set me off across exploring unforgettable places and spaces on my own.
Yesterday as I was conversing with one of my earlier dance student and friend now, he somehow reminded me of this poem again , as he has been traveling the length and breadth of India on a bike, covering over 80% of India.
While I wait to see his photo shares and hear more from him about his experience in the journey.
Thought of sharing my verses again.
Travel On
If you are given an opportunity to take a journey
Take it, for you meet many versions of you.
Along the road.
Some you cherish, some cherish you.
Some that change you and some that you change.
Fear not the travel or the traveling…
For one thing is certain
You come away enriched and wiser in every journey.
Travel to liberate yourself From self assumed notions To see the light on the other side There is much to unlearn and unbox As you travel yield in to the insights Travel every once in a while if opportunity arises,
Take the chance, You are richer in your explorations much as your experiences. Travel on …
Savvy Raj 
You must be logged in to post a comment.