Every one faces difficult people in their lives. And for some like service sectors, coaches, consultants and medics, their job has many moments of handling difficult people and tricky situations as well.
There are many types of difficult people
Like the pessimistic ones who always find what won’t work first for anything new. They have nothing positive to say or share. But always play the devils advocate.
Handling them can be extremely difficult in front of a team full of people but it is wise to acknowledge them and then reframe their perspectives with a positive positioning and interpretation to turn it around carefully.
Interestingly there are a lot many in the know it all category, with an attitude & arrogance of knowledge & experience to boot.
An effective way to tackle would be to appreciate them but ask them to share the data and facts associated with what they proclaim to ensure authenticity. It is also challenging but necessary to request for humility in these peer to peer conversations.
There are then those who are two sided who say nothing to your face but are habitual complainers. There is a need to understand the origin of of their doubts and worries and where they are coming from in order to work it out thereby creating a safe and secure atmosphere.
“Think of difficult people as sandpaper They may rub you and scratch you painfully but eventually you end up smooth and the sandpaper worn out… stay happy and enjoy life…” raymund salumbides
Difficult people are difficult to handle. But it’s not impossible or something to shy away from. Simply the handling needs discernment and care. And not everyone can handle difficult people. Tact, diplomacy, confidence, clarity of purpose and vision go a long way in handing difficult people and problems.
Great leaders know… It’s about listening, observing identifying and then empowering & developing middle managers to be great leaders of tommorow.
It’s about rewarding people for the right reasons. And understanding what gets people to work together.
And then creating and sustainable atmosphere for them to work well together.
It’s about finding time to understand the context of what is. And being able to not only envision the big picture but also project it with authenticity and powerfully so.
For in the many small moments of the day there appears many random tests for a leader.
Leadership is not about making everyone like each other. But about making them understand that it takes all of them to be a consistent and collaborative team players.
And most of all getting every one knowing why they are there and clarifying in simple words what the organization is trying to do.
There is a beautiful saying that goes…’ It’s not about having a team of stars But about having a star team’
A flower doesn’t stop being beautiful just because somebody walks by without noticing it, nor does it cease to be fragrant if its scent is taken for granted. The flower just continues to be its glorious self: elegant, graceful, and magnificent.
Our Mother Nature has provided us with these immeasurably valuable teachers that blossom despite their short lifespan, stars that continue to shine even if we fail to stare at them, and trees that don’t take it personally if we never bow down in gratitude for the oxygen they provide.
We also have an incredible and unlimited capacity to love, but the question is: Can we do it like a flower? Without needing to be admired, adored, or even noticed? Can we open our hearts completely to give, forgive, celebrate, and joyfully live our lives without hesitation or need for reciprocity?
It seems like sometimes we go beyond taking things personally and are noticeably deflated when unappreciated. In fact, devastated, we wilt in sorrow and then attempt to guard ourselves by withholding, using all sorts of protections and defenses. We get hurt (even angry) if our boss fails to recognize an astonishing feat, if a lover pulls their hand away, or when a friend forgets our birthday. Can you imagine a flower copping an attitude for not being praised, or the moon dimming its glow because we’re too self-absorbed to notice it more often?
Make an effort to shine NO MATTER WHAT, to love unconditionally, and to be a kind and gentle soul (even when nobody is watching).
And, if you’re so inclined, hug the next tree you see and say, “Thank you!”
~ Excerpt from Buddhist Boot Camp by Timber Hawkeye
LARGEST TREE IN THE WORLD
Location : Giant Forest of Sequoia National Park in Tulare County, California, USA.
The General Sherman Tree is the world’s largest tree, measured by volume. It stands 275 feet (83 m) tall, and is over 36 feet (11 m) in diameter at the base. Sequoia trunks remain wide high up. Sixty feet above the base, the Sherman Tree is 17.5 feet (5.3 m) in diameter.
Was wondering of the lifetime experiences that this tree must have been through.
Of how many seasons it must have seen
Of how it must have survived through the storms
As well as enjoyed the beauty of springtines
Of the countless lives it must have generously sheltered
In an increasing uncertainty in a volatile times, it is important to work from strengths than weaknesses and embrace the flexibility of approach.
Work on self-improvement by understanding your personality, your skills, and responsibilities. Be open to feedback and ideas and avoid bracketing yourself into one type of person, so you can stretch yourself and be able to adapt to whatever the circumstances. This way, you can resolve a broader spectrum of situational challenges without self limiting beliefs blocks.
Become a competent leader who knows to surf through the tides of change and stay afloat.
Remember there is infinite power in possibilities in you
This tree is uniquely shaped and there is always a reason to be…
There is much in the pattern. With angles that self-balance. Supported in the shaping. To survive the storm. Swaying in the wind. So full of spaces in between To evolve and to grow. With confidence of connection Rooted in a solid foundation. The tree find its own flow Paving the pathway Manifesting its uniqueness. It finds its purpose of being.
Likewise to an organization That grows steadfast in trust In strength of the structure. Spreading its wings in faith
For when the roots are strong And potential is nurtured In valuing the roots In acceptance of the new… There is freedom to expand. With fresh perspective at play Every leader owns an angle towards sustainability. Great leaders may pitch great angles of perspective. But a great team is formed by great people. Like every living part of a tree is significant to the whole tree. Every individual is valuable to the organization. Every perspective matters to the cohesive whole.
A great read by my friend Ali Anani prompted me to write this post.
So much wisdom from nature in every form if we choose to see.
In this world of metaverses and advanced technology where emotional connects brings us closer, no matter the actual physical distance, building & sustaining trustfulness, integrity becomes paramount benchmarks for buisnesses in digital space. Companies that can understand this need and work around it by providing clarity of information and create experiences with strong data securities will have an advantage. Even terms and policies on user data needs transparent communication.
On the other hand the question remains how the world will adapt to new ways of work with avatars taking prominence over actual humans. The lines of real and virtual are truly interweaved. While this generation born in a digital world is synced in with the changes like AI storming in to our life, the earlier generation is still reeling with trust issues with digital technology.
Changing Times…
Times are changing and how, from a generation that grew up without phones & computers… to a world that knows not to be, without a mobile phone & laptops!
Trustful Connections
In all this change, there is still one element of truth that is consistently evident. The need for human connection. As development improves the way we interact with one another it is getting extremely important to feel a sense of trust.The way of work has higher need for transparency along with the responsibility.And that is creating more interdependence and collaborative styles of work. Autocracy has to move to meritocracy for trust to be formed. For we are in one way or other coming to terms of living in a world where everyone can function from anywhere at the touch of button and can be informed and aware in real time.
Sustainability
Challenges are plenty but solutions are also clear.Leading the change building trust. Creating and sustaining better relationships.It’s all in us, the way we behave interact and live each moment. Trust takes time to form and be instilled. Once trust is gained it becomes a gamechanger. In any successful relationship be it professional or personal, it is important to understand the need to cultivate and sustain efforts towards trustful connections.
There is always space to learn and understand more
Space to grow and evolve
And it all starts with a little shift in perspective.
A little rebalancing from the way things are…
Work & life
It often amazes me to see the adulation that certain people have for being the first to arrive and last to leave their workplace. I wonder if anyone has cared to check how their families feel about this?
Many on the so called respected and admired list, are people who are workaholics, burning out by the minute.
They are there, working beyond the call of duty perhaps out of personal passion, sense of ownership and responsibility or even perhaps because they feel they can’t afford to fail, may be even because it gives them an edge of pride to be known as some one who is committed.
However life is about balance and simply put, more of one leads to less of another. The trick is the wisdom of balance and steering clear of extremes.
To every workaholic out there here are few reflections…
☆Avoid stretching yourself too thin.You are already on razors edge and you are hurting one part of your life, if you continue to do what you do. Reclaim your life. Find other passions and take care of your health. Stay safe than sorry.
☆Your personal life is at stake and is also your responsibility.
☆Bringing home the money and comforts is just one half of the whole. Your family is best nurtured by your loving presence in their lives.
☆Your absence at home and family/ social affairs is missed at first and then adapted with along the way to a point of being indifferent to your presence in time. Because you are never there for them.
☆ At a certain point in life, lack of care and connection begins to show and no amount of money can be valued over time .
☆Money cannot buy love they say and it certainly becomes true, as people begin to use you for your money and you will never feel fulfilled and content after spending it.
☆Everything around you becomes materialistic to the point of manipulation and its your own doing as you threw in the money and comforts where ever and whenever your time was required or requested.
☆Relationships become meaningless without a sense of togetherness. Missing out time with another in the excuse of being busy for years will take a toll on personal life. People will get used to you not being around for them and then expecting them to be there for you when you need them is a selfish ask.
☆Your children will be affected by your continued absence . Your presence in their growing years is very important for their holistic well being. Your partner will be angry or isolated with you. And expecting things to be different as you continue your ways is not going to change anything.
☆However in recognizing the signs of workaholic and your choosing to balance different aspects of your life will start making a meaningful difference.
☆For starters acknowledge your value for your time and energy.
☆Speaking of your energy , if you have spent most of your day at work , how will you find yourself able to give more of you as you have exhausted yourself
☆Recognize where it’s slipping away and start to chalk out a balancing plan. It can transform your life and those around you.
☆Find moments that are solely yours and use it for your personal development.
☆Your career is only one part of your life. It helps you sustain your life but the relationships you have nourishes you. Without it you have no true sense of purpose.
☆If you are one of those who are thinking of grabbing opportunities and climbing the corporate ladder acknowledge that you may possibly often have an unsatisfactory family relationship at the end of it all.
☆Your passion for your work may begin to affect your health watch out early signs of strain and stress and care to take help .
Thankfully today the world is more aware of work week and many countries are Consciously doing something about it. How it affects productivity in time will be seen and how much it could contribute to work life balance, but it definitely is time reclaimed for family.
The truth is its about prioritization of what’s important for well-being in life. Personal and professional lives both are important and have demands that need your time. So balance is the key.
Sometimes good work needs appreciation… And that becomes a source of inspiration to do more … Today I am sharing a few of my dear daughters social work experiences at her stint with the HOPE foundation in India, in her own words that she had expressed about the satisfaction and contentment from the heart in doing good and sharing goodwill with the world around us.
I hope it inspires and motivates more in the path of positive intentions and acts of goodwill.
Have been working with an non profit organisation called H.O.P.E for almost a year now.Even though I focused primarily on events , I did want to try helping in their other verticals like Ad Care ,which was basically teaching shelter home children , academically as well as non academically.
Now, the children here hated studying and upon entering for the first time , all I noticed was books thrown outside the window! So we decided to use glitter pens and stickers to motivate them.
I was one such volunteer who taught English through games and then I would draw something for them on their hands because they loved the idea of ‘glitter tattoos’. Everytime I’d do so, all the kids would lineup to get one of their own and I honestly enjoyed the process every Sunday even though I sucked at drawing(I literally drew the kid version of a bird but that would still make them happy). Soon it led to me writing their names for them glitter pens in different fonts.
Coming back to the photo, this was clicked a day before Christmas and I was writing their names in different fonts when two kids asked me to write their parents names as well. This took me by shock as most of them are orphans or have been abandoned by their parents. Nevertheless, I did write their names the way they wanted and it lead to a moment that crushed my soul.
I watched them both High five after the tattoos for the fact that both of them had never seen their parents and they abandoned them here. I was truly appalled as I saw them jump in excitement and running down the hallway.
When I was leaving , the kids came to me and asked me to click a photo with them and asked me to spend every festival with them as they felt lonely. Kudos to our team and H.O.P.E for making a difference! 🙂
Savvy Raj 
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