“Sometimes we’re fractured by the choices we make; sometimes we’re shattered by things we would never have chosen. But our brokenness is also the source of our common humanity, the basis for our shared search for comfort, meaning, and healing. Our shared vulnerability and imperfection nurtures and sustains our capacity for compassion.” — Bryan Stevenson
There is something touchingly tender in every instance of humanity in action be it in thoughts words or deeds.
Our humanity makes us touch the true purpose of our being alive .
There is something endearing about dancing with a partner, it’s the power to attract another magnetically and charmingly interact with another’s energy and spirit through dance movement.
A prerequisite to dancing well is one’s ability to take an emotional journey and open oneself and to share and connect to another’s energies .This is what engages the audience and keeps them enthralled. It’s beyond the physicality of steps, patterns, touch, or even the right dance hold or dance frame. It’s in the ability to dance with space, time, yet in complete awareness of one another’s heart of movement.
I had an opportunity to experience this just the other day when I witnessed all of this and more in Rohini (my mother’s friend actually) a family friend of many years .
I have known her to be a simple religious and a happy go lucky person who also may have been through much personal turmoil like so many others but yet has managed a cheerful disposition every time I met her.
Her characteristic sunny nature would never give away the strife behind the smile. The occasion was her 25 th wedding anniversary that I got invited to , and as we reached the venue the couple were at the dais, very understated , a picture of simplicity & composure.
The evening took off, with all their close friends having some wonderful and touching things to say about them both.
There was a small dance floor which soon got filled up with people who were initially hesitant As the music filled the air many more of us started getting into the groove and dancing. And then I saw her, it was her in her element, dancing from her heart and soul. It was fantastic to see her energetic dancing in full display for the all to see , Her ever calm and composed husband seemed mesmerized by all the fun moves she did .
In fact everyone was charmed by her passion and for that moment I realized just then that her joyful dancing soul had peeped out from the depths of it all.
Kudos to her for keeping the spirit of dancing alive in her through all these years .God bless!
Dancing from the heart always counts more than perfection of steps. And that’s the ultimate challenge… To keep the mind open, ready, receptive, giving and simple enough, to dare to step out of comfort zones.
Life presents new paths at every turn Every now has new learnings. The trick is to be present in this moment To understand the evolving perspectives To be one, with the changes that manifests Be present. Be adaptable. Be receptive!
One of the common concerns of any scaling team is that while the stakeholders ensure themselves with a great set of leadership and they in turn recruit a battalion of teams under them to do the work, there is one lacuna…the chaos and confusion in the middle management!
The disenchanted middle management scenario is a result of widening gaps in communication and connection between the managers and themselves.
Often, great work done by the team goes without credit, buried under the hierarchy structure and lack of appreciation.
Second, despite ability in the teams and readiness to accomplish good work, there is a lot of confusion about what to do as there is no clarity passed on to them from their managers.
It is clearly indicative of how important it is for the leadership team to share the purpose of why they are doing what they do…and how the message needs to be passed on with the same passion to every member of the teams, no matter the number of layers adding up in the middle.
This is how you reinstate ownership and accountability, which is paramount to the efficiency of the teams.
Unfortunately, much of what is conveyed to the managers from the top in terms of the purpose is typically withheld from teams, for the manager may not personally value the significance of the message for teams reporting to them to understand. It becomes less and less significant in their discussions. And that is where a gamut of internal communications issues show up.
What will you do
When you do not have a purpose
You stop steering…
As there is no winds of motivation to sail your course.
In the case of the middle managers sandwiched in between, they soon have no sense of purpose, they are frequently found working in circles without direction.
They may seem busy doing mundane chores to fill their workdays, and go back home every day a little more disengaged and disconnected with the system.
In my professional career as a Consultant & having been involved in the organizational development up close, I have encountered such scenarios where the value of transparency in teams in their shared work as well as the vision & purpose of the leader is regularly lost in the daily rut of routine. Between filling forms and answering mails, much of the work today has become impersonal.
I believe the role of the middle management is crucial in managing change, for they can bridge the gap between expectations from the strategic objectives and key results set from the top to match with the speed and efficiency of actual day-to-day activities’ integration.
An engaged, informed, and knowledgeable middle management would mean a lot to the stability of a growing organization. It is a huge balancing act between managing to sustain through the changes and managing policies practices and procedures ensuring compliance and come away stronger.
It is important for the key stakeholders to have a conversation that sets clarity on the value for the middle management in the system and expectations from them.
They need to know how much interconnected they actually are in driving changes. They also need to become more self-aware and understand the intricacies of working beyond biases and prejudices that may come along while they understand the power structure of their respective organization.
Beyond good communication skills, they will have to develop their expertise in networking with their seniors as well as their teams.
The responsibility on the middle management is demanding as the role is expanding to include the implementation of changes in the system as well as managing the cultural changes.
This can happen best when the senior management is aware of the challenges faced by the middle management, like time in planning to execution. They can best help fasten this process by direction support and feedbacks while realizing the strategic value of the middle managers.
Every level of management is intrinsically interwoven and important to the whole. In recognizing their individual strengths as well working in the spirit of collaboration, teams begin to evolve.
What do you think of the prevailing practices at work?
Today morning I happened to read my mother’s musings… which was written back in time on life. I share it here for I think it comes across as a relevant reminder for a pause in reflection.
No one is without faults. To err is human, to forgive is divine. Perfection in our speech, appearance, behaviour & habits are all our wants. But is it possible? Being wrong, doing wrong things, saying inappropriate words,-intentionally or not -is all in our nature. Do we realise, we too can be wrong sometimes , before pointing others. Forgiving, if not forgetting is also in in our nature. But how many of us are ready to do that. It is because of our ego and pride, putting ourselves first, comes before everything. There is a proverb in Tamil. ” Even elephants can slip. ” How much ever perfect, one tends to be, mistakes happen many ways knowingly or unknowingly. If we keep this in mind , forgiving others, accepting people with their faults becomes easier. Each is born & brought up differently. Values & principles change as per their culture , beliefs, situations and circumstances. Being stubborn & sticking to our thoughts , narrows our outlook of the world. When we widen our spectrum, understanding & accepting others as they are, becomes much easier. When we shift our perspective a little & start looking from other’s eyes, our shortcomings will become visible. Let’s be true n honest in our judgements. We all need to co exist . Criticism, unless asked, distances us. Instead of accusations , appreciation & acknowledgement will bring us closer to each other. After all peace is what all of us want. Above all we all are born with different nature by birth which is hard to change. We cannot change the stripes of a zebra. Acceptance & adjustment to a certain level is the road to peaceful co- existence. So to have good relationships Forget. If not forgive Accept If not adjust. We need not be divine. But need not be fault finders too. As fellow human beings , with erring in our nature, let’s all strive to live peacefully & happily acknowledge each other as they are.
Here are my reflections on this post… which I had initially shared with him privately but then realized that perhaps it needs to be read and understood in the larger context of the trials and tribulations in life and living..
Truth has a way of baring open the wounds of the heart and mind on its path of healing the hurt. For truth is on its own path of self correction in this world. For unfairness and Injustice has to somedayfind justice Exclusion to inclusion Doubts to clarity.
When truth speaks In one way or another It is important to listen In empathy without judgements
Truth speaks as it is In all of innocence Or in wisdom of awareness.
And yet… Innocence can be daunting to handle . But addressing the truth one way or the other Leads to discoveries of how little we know or of what is sensed & perceived.
In the story that my friend shared…here are instances of lack of inclusion in a family
Where in one day there is marked difference in the way the father speaks, When the child says Why are you speaking to me…
Interesting to note that you perceived the young child as witty Whereas another may perceive it as defiance,or even an evidence of an awareness of lack of inclusion and discrimination at this household in the young child’s mind. And that she is voicing it in all of innocence.
What would be of significance is how the father addresses this brewing disconnect.
Lack of love can be a difficult phase at any age especially for a child. Let’s trust the universe to show the way for this child to receive what she is yearning for one way or another. May every life be able to sense love and live life lovingly.
In the way we think speak, in the tonality, the choice of our words, we are influencing how we come across in every communication.
In saying…
I know everything -Ego
You don’t really matter so you are not worthy of my time & attention – Indifference/ Disrespect/Seclusion
How can you come in my way? Domination
Stay silent and speak only when I tell you to.- Control
Who are you to advise me? -Pride
How dare you speak this way? – Arrogance
If we only knew The preciousness of life We will begin to realize How much of life is wasted In arrogance and egotism. In anger and doubt Over things that hardly matter In the larger plan of life Can we choose to value The preciousness of being Place value for life over things.
This world is getting indifferent Discarding truths nonchalantly For it is difficult to swallow But truth is truth It finds its way ultimately To make all the difference.
Humility is a conscious practice in awareness. Until it becomes a way of life. In knowing that there is always more Than what the eyes can see Or the spirit can do
The soul knows To reach beyond knowing It is important to acknowledge the space To allow learning to take place Humility is dormant When ego is dominant. Humility is patience in waiting A practice of humility In thoughts words & deeds, In listening to understand, In letting go in faith and fortitude, In making way for gratitude In being hopeful in trust In moderation and measure Can unlock the inner potential For humility is full of possibilities.
This post is stemming from reflections to my post by a reader on LinkedIn. I simply choose to delve a bit with the insightful thoughts.
And these verses birthed along the way.
The wall of the mind Is in each of us to forge through In valuing the space between Two thoughts two steps or two notes. In choosing harmony of synchrony In conscious awareness In discerning thoughts In response than reaction In connecting the dots In realizing the grace of unity.
In sensing the strength Of the circle of conscious connections.
The day we learn to be light and live in lightness and not take things so seriously, we start truly living.
After all the sun will rise and set in its own course, life will flow in the river of time, why not think of living it cruising along knowing nothing lasts forever.
There is a Cobbler who sits across the street in front of my Office Building.
Every day, I see that there is a stray dog who comes and sits with him as soon as he arrives at the place, and he feeds him biscuits and some times milk.
The man gets busy in his work, while the dog sits there and gives him company.
One can feel that there is a unknown connection between them, they have conversation without a word being spoken.
He also brings food for birds, which he keeps at different places on the street pavement where he sits for his work.
Many people stop by and ask him for directions, he always guides them with a smile. Even if he doesn’t get any business from them.
If he sees a homeless person going by, he offers them water and food that he has brought for himself and engages in conversations with them.
One can see and feel the peace, the conversations bring to them.
I felt to go and meet him today.
He smiled at me and said his name is Dayaram, and asked me if I would like to have tea?
Pleasantly surprised, I said, “Sure, let’s have some tea.”
Here is a man who would be struggling to make ₹ 200-300 a day, out of which he would be spending around ₹ 12 – Rs.15 on the food that he brings for the dog and the birds, and the two cups of tea would cost him another ₹ 20.
He being rich in his own way, smiles radiantly, and his calm, effortless, abundant state of being is infectious.
I told him that I have been observing him, what he does, and that I am humbled and fascinated by it.
We continue talking, and I refer to the dog, and he says “Oh! he’s just one of us – God’s Own Creation”.
Talk about non-duality!
He goes on to say that “I am not serving… it is He who is making it happen via this person. It would be egoistic to say that ‘I’ am doing it!”
I fold my hands and bow to him, and request him to accept some money, saying, “It is not I, who is giving you this money, it is He who is sending it to you via myself.”
We laugh and he obliges me by accepting it.
As I am about to leave, he says:
“Maango Ussi se, Baanto khushi se, Kaho na kissi se”
माँगो उसी से, बाँटो ख़ुशी से, कहो ना किसी से
(Ask from Him, but then don’t just accumulate it – give it away to others with happiness and gratitude, and do it silently!)
Savvy Raj 
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