In a group setting as a life coach it is important to balance power dynamics.
It is important to create a space of mutual respect and understanding.
Being inclusive creates an expansion of thoughts and ideas in openness tolerance and acceptance of new possibilities.
In a group setting it is important to hold space by balancing participation through inclusive ways like encouragement appreciation and rewarding contributions. This ensures the power dynamics are kept in check by empathic approach and moderation by allowing space for all to speak up, so as to prevent lopsided conversations.
Have you had any such experience as a team member ?
Do share your experiences of power dynamics at play in group setting.
She hadn’t been to school for four days because she was not feeling well.
When she went back to school, there were a lot of lessons taught.
To catch up on the lessons, she asked her best friend for her notes.
But her friend refused to give her the notes, saying she had to study them that evening.
Feeling dejected, she couldn’t get the notes copied.
Another girl came to her aid and gave her the notes, helping her out.
The girl was heartbroken that her best friend didn’t help her. She remembered all the times she had given chocolates and colored pencils to her friend.
Reflecting on this, she felt extremely sad and cried, becoming obsessed with the thought.
“Obsessed” means thinking about something repeatedly. She couldn’t stop thinking about her friend not giving her the notes.
She couldn’t eat lunch properly, came home, and sat quietly.
She couldn’t talk properly, watch TV, or laugh. She couldn’t sleep that night, thinking about it all the time. The next day was a school holiday, but she couldn’t enjoy it.
That day, her family went to a park. Her father put her on a swing and started pushing her. The swing went higher and higher, making her happy. She screamed joyfully, asking her dad not to push too hard. Her dad kept pushing, and after half an hour on the swing, she got down and played more games.
She forgot her anger and sadness towards her friend, feeling at peace.
That night, while sleeping, she reflected on the following points:
Point 1: It was wrong of her friend not to give her the notes. Why should she lose her happiness, appetite, and laughter over it?
Point 2: Maybe her friend genuinely needed to study and couldn’t give her the notes.
Point 3: Being angry at her friend made her distance herself from her loving parents.
Point 4: Constantly thinking about anger and irritation towards someone is torturous. It prevents us from doing anything else.
Point 5: Why didn’t she try to forget her anger for even five minutes? She felt excited while on the swing and forgot her anger. Why didn’t she think about getting out of the problem?
Reflecting on these points, she reached a conclusion.
Thinking negatively about anyone all the time will prevent you from being at peace. It drains our energy and makes us unable to enjoy life. Therefore, she decided to stay friendly and cheerful.
She woke up energetically, greeted her parents, took a bath and wore her uniform, ate her breakfast, packed her bag, and as she stepped out, sunlight shone on her face.
Her face looked brighter and more beautiful in the sunlight.
When our thoughts are good, our actions will be good. When our actions are good, our life will be good.
When you are in a position of influence especially as a coach, a trainer you are responsible to aid the development and building up of life. From the life coaching perspective there are many humane standards that help reach the set goals.
As a coach, respect and inclusion are significant for the success of your coaching. It is important to show ‘Respect’ not only for individual or team you are coaching by being unbiased and empathic of their abilities, but also for your time and effort as well as respect for the reason and need for coaching .
As for inclusiveness, without it you cannot build rapport as a coach. Inclusion is also about being attentive and open minded of diverse perspectives and opinions.
Over the decades, coaching individuals and groups as a Dance Educator & Trainer,and a Life Coach, I have had varied experiences of how being inclusive, empathic, open minded to listen and understand, sharing mutual respect has made a positive impact on the coaching process.
Both respect and inclusion can make a meaningful and lasting difference in the lives of those you coach.
Like a new dawn, Trust new beginnings, Renew hope, renew effort Making it a day Full of positivity & possibilities. Step forward With grit & gratitude Each moment is special Miracles happen in any moment.
DISCLAIMER: CERTAIN FACTS HERE MAY BE INACCURATE BUT THE ESSENCE OF THE PIECE IS STILL VERY MEANINGFUL ABOUT VALUING PARTNERS.
Saeed Jeffrey divorced Madhur Jaffrey for his second wife Jennifer. But this veteran actor has won the hearts with his heart-wrenching regret.
This came out, a few years after he left this world. 30-Jul-2019
From the diary of Sayed Jaffrey, the famous bollywood character actor:
I was 19 when I was married to Mehrunima who was 17. As I grew up, I was very fascinated by the british culture in colonial India. I learnt to speak English fluently, wear suits with grace, and developed impeccable etiquettes. But Mehrunima grew up to be my complete opposite – homely, a typical housewife. All my advices and admonishments couldn’t change her basic personality – an obedient wife, a doting mother and a good homemaker.
But she was not what I wanted. More I tried to change her, more we drifted apart. Gradually she metamorphosed from a cheerful affectionate young girl into a quiet insecure woman. Meanwhile I started getting attracted to a co-actor of mine who was all what I wanted in my wife.
After 10 years of marriage, l divorced Mehrunima, left my home and married my co- actor. I had ensured financial security of Mehrunima and my kids . For about 6-7 months everything went well. Then I started realising, my new wife was not caring and affectionate. She was only concerned about her beauty, her ambitions, her wants and desires. Sometimes I missed Mehrunima’s caring touch and concern for my welfare.
Life moved on . I and my new wife were 2 persons living in a house, not one soul living in a home. I never went back to find out what happened to Mehrunima and my kids. After about 6 -7 years of my second marriage, I came across an article on a Madhur Jaffrey, an upcoming famous chef who had recently launched a book of her own recipes. The moment I looked at the picture of the smart elegant lady, I was stunned. It was Mehrunima. But how could it be ??? She had remarried and changed her maiden name too.
I was shooting abroad at that time. She lived in US now. I caught the next flight to US. I inquired about her where abouts and went to meet her. She refused to see me. My daughter who was 14, and son who was 12, told her they wanted to talk to me one last time. Her new husband was by her side. He was also my children’s legal father now. To this date, I cannot forget what my children told me.
They told me that their new father knows the meaning of true love. He Broke Da Cage of Negativity. He accepted Mehrunima as she was and never tried to change her into what he himself was, because he loves her more than he loves himself. He let her evolve at her own pace and never tried to force his wishes on her. He accepted and enjoyed her person as it was. And she has bloomed into a confident loving affectionate self reliant lady today under her second husband’s selfless love and acceptance.
Where as I was full of selfishness, demands and unacceptance of her persona had crushed her and then in my selfishness had discarded her. Creating a Cage of Negativity.
The Greatest learning of my life-
You don’t change people you love, you love them as they are….
At Techno Pacific University, a speaker asked a woman among the audience:
“Does your husband keep you happy?”
The husband, sitting nearby, straightened up confidently. The reason was, his wife had never complained about him. He was happy.
However, the wife clearly said, “No, my husband doesn’t keep me happy.”
The husband was shocked, but the wife continued:
“My husband hasn’t kept me happy. He hasn’t made me happy. But I am happy. My happiness doesn’t depend on him. It’s up to me. Whether I am happy is a matter concerning myself.”
“Being happy at every stage of life is my decision. If I depend on others for my happiness, or on certain things, or certain moments, it means I am in big trouble.”
“Everything around us keeps changing. People, wealth, my body, temperature, my boss, pleasures, friends, my physical and mental health, all of it. It’s a long list.”
“No matter what happens, being happy is my decision. Whether I have a lot or a little, my happiness doesn’t diminish. Whether I go out or stay at home, whether I am poor or rich, my happiness doesn’t diminish.”
“I was happy before marriage, and I remain happy after. I am happy about myself because I am happy with myself.”
“I love my life not because it is easier than others’ lives, but because I have decided to be personally happy. I am responsible for my happiness.”
“When I hold this as a decision in my mind, I remove the burden from others to make me happy. This makes everyone’s life easier. That is why my life has been happy for so many years.”
The applause didn’t stop.
Don’t assign the responsibility of keeping you happy to others.
Whether it’s sunny or rainy, you are unwell, poor, injured, or unloved, do not give up the happiness within your mind.
As long as you respect yourself wholeheartedly, you will find happiness within yourself.
All matter is energy And we are unique speckles of vibrations. All resonating in the universality of life and living. Trust you matter, more than you know Believe you can and are making a difference As you connect deeply in the universal flow Tune in to reflect the truth of your being.
Every word every deed Every step every move Impacts the larger whole Just as much as the world around you. So start with who and what is around you Sense your intuitive self talking to you Telling much in all its subtlety. Trust it, for it is abound With the strength of the subtle energies. Resonate joy, abundance, balance Resonate love ,harmony and peace For you have the power to transform your world.
Savvy Raj 
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