Building trust creates a rapport for greater communication. Besides listening actively, addressing any issues and finding resolutions together immediately builds trust in a team. Being authentically approachable adds to the trust. Creating a transparent process and protocols for idea sharing helps. Showing appreciation for the ideas generated brings forth confidence to share more. Most importantly, giving credit where it is due by acknowledgements fosters trustful teams. Creating a responsive, cohesive and collaborative team requires transperncy in purpose.
Empathic leaders find it easier to understand the challenges of their teams but they also need to be empathic to themselves to avoid burnout and manage their lives.
Stress Management for Leaders
If you are feeling stress beyond a level you can handle as a leader you need to introspect.
There could be many factors that build up the stress often without your own knowing. It can happen to anyone after all we are only human. And it would be good to acknowledge the importance of work life balance and self care.
Are you biting more than you can chew? To manage work stress as a leader, while delegating work check, if you are delegating tasks with clarity to the team.
Are you approachable and exercising patience in communication?
Are you checking if they have understood your requirements?
Are your mails, messages and your attitude, building people up?
Remember the way you chose to behave rubs off on people. While it’s only human to err and there could be good & bad days, being a leader is a responsiblity. For you have the power to influence and impact lives.
Likewise your actions beliefs and behaviour can affect your own health. Hence managing your own stressors empathically become paramount as a leader to get work done.
Every now and then tweaking your own approach, to the changing needs, being flexible and adaptable helps you and your team towards reducing work stress.
When you are in a position of influence especially as a coach, a trainer you are responsible to aid the development and building up of life. From the life coaching perspective there are many humane standards that help reach the set goals.
As a coach, respect and inclusion are significant for the success of your coaching. It is important to show ‘Respect’ not only for individual or team you are coaching by being unbiased and empathic of their abilities, but also for your time and effort as well as respect for the reason and need for coaching .
As for inclusiveness, without it you cannot build rapport as a coach. Inclusion is also about being attentive and open minded of diverse perspectives and opinions.
Over the decades, coaching individuals and groups as a Dance Educator & Trainer,and a Life Coach, I have had varied experiences of how being inclusive, empathic, open minded to listen and understand, sharing mutual respect has made a positive impact on the coaching process.
Both respect and inclusion can make a meaningful and lasting difference in the lives of those you coach.
DISCLAIMER: CERTAIN FACTS HERE MAY BE INACCURATE BUT THE ESSENCE OF THE PIECE IS STILL VERY MEANINGFUL ABOUT VALUING PARTNERS.
Saeed Jeffrey divorced Madhur Jaffrey for his second wife Jennifer. But this veteran actor has won the hearts with his heart-wrenching regret.
This came out, a few years after he left this world. 30-Jul-2019
From the diary of Sayed Jaffrey, the famous bollywood character actor:
I was 19 when I was married to Mehrunima who was 17. As I grew up, I was very fascinated by the british culture in colonial India. I learnt to speak English fluently, wear suits with grace, and developed impeccable etiquettes. But Mehrunima grew up to be my complete opposite – homely, a typical housewife. All my advices and admonishments couldn’t change her basic personality – an obedient wife, a doting mother and a good homemaker.
But she was not what I wanted. More I tried to change her, more we drifted apart. Gradually she metamorphosed from a cheerful affectionate young girl into a quiet insecure woman. Meanwhile I started getting attracted to a co-actor of mine who was all what I wanted in my wife.
After 10 years of marriage, l divorced Mehrunima, left my home and married my co- actor. I had ensured financial security of Mehrunima and my kids . For about 6-7 months everything went well. Then I started realising, my new wife was not caring and affectionate. She was only concerned about her beauty, her ambitions, her wants and desires. Sometimes I missed Mehrunima’s caring touch and concern for my welfare.
Life moved on . I and my new wife were 2 persons living in a house, not one soul living in a home. I never went back to find out what happened to Mehrunima and my kids. After about 6 -7 years of my second marriage, I came across an article on a Madhur Jaffrey, an upcoming famous chef who had recently launched a book of her own recipes. The moment I looked at the picture of the smart elegant lady, I was stunned. It was Mehrunima. But how could it be ??? She had remarried and changed her maiden name too.
I was shooting abroad at that time. She lived in US now. I caught the next flight to US. I inquired about her where abouts and went to meet her. She refused to see me. My daughter who was 14, and son who was 12, told her they wanted to talk to me one last time. Her new husband was by her side. He was also my children’s legal father now. To this date, I cannot forget what my children told me.
They told me that their new father knows the meaning of true love. He Broke Da Cage of Negativity. He accepted Mehrunima as she was and never tried to change her into what he himself was, because he loves her more than he loves himself. He let her evolve at her own pace and never tried to force his wishes on her. He accepted and enjoyed her person as it was. And she has bloomed into a confident loving affectionate self reliant lady today under her second husband’s selfless love and acceptance.
Where as I was full of selfishness, demands and unacceptance of her persona had crushed her and then in my selfishness had discarded her. Creating a Cage of Negativity.
The Greatest learning of my life-
You don’t change people you love, you love them as they are….
Sometimes after we have done our very best We need þatience as much as perseverance Time heals it all they say In throes of torment We need to trust time to pass to a better moment. We need patience in waiting.
Mentoring can be beneficial to both the Mentor and the mentee.
While helping in some realistic goal setting it puts things in perspective, A mentor offers emotional support in challenging situations for the mentees so they can begin to identify the root of the problems and come up with solutions. Mentors aid them through coping strategies as well when things don’t happen on time.
Good mentors will help develop resilience and trust in one another thus enabling the bouncing back in difficult situations. And most of all bringing clarity on importance of balancing work and other parts of life and relationships helps unload the feeling of overwhelm that many mentees may be experiencing.
But it is also equally important for Mentors to take care of their wellbeing. so that they can create a positive experience through the process for themselves as much as their mentees.
As a Freelancer or a Self Employed Individual inspite of the independence and freedom to manage what you choose to do, there are often many challenges that test you on your journey.
Here are a few mindful ways to destress through your challenges using reflection for your personal growth.
Breath: Start the day by find time for your health. You can simply start by observing your breath. Witness it, moving in and out of the body. Sense your own breath. Check the speed and patterns in your breath. Are you breathing fast or slow? Are you able to hear the sounds of your breath? Our breathing sends many signals to us about our health, if we only care to observe.
Meditation. Reflect on your life as you go into a deeper state of being.You can choose your kind of meditation from the many practices of meditation options. Be it breath awareness through deep breathing, or mindful walking meditation or sound meditation. Be fully present in the Now.
Movement : Reflect on the positive ways you can use your body to reset and recharge your self. Choose to take a mindful and conscious walk. Sense everything in and around as you move with self awareness Reflect on your day and observe your thoughts. Many thoughts will vye for your attention. Let them come and go as you witness their unfolding. You will find much inspiration as you go. You will note your state of mind. You will have clarity of your emotional and mental health. You will sense the truths of your life.
Journalling.: Writing your thoughts is a good reflection tool that helps process and synthesise new information and life experiences. In fact it increases creative thinking and problem solving. As you reflect on your reactions and responses you will find greater clarity on your path.
Reading : A beautiful practice for any time that you can be inspired is by inculcating a habit of reading regularly. Choose a good book take time to read. You will find yourself charged with many inspirations to kickstart your day. It can be a contemplative practice for some deep thinking and self introspection and improvement.
Feedback : An opinion of another about you is their assimilated perception that they may voice out to you with or without your asking. Seeking honest feedback from trusted sources can help you course correct yourself. It is how you take the feedbacks you receive and what and how you focus on it that makes all the difference. Be aware that feedback is a valuable tool for self reflection and personal growth.
There are many tools for reflection like the above. However even acknowledging ones feelings and emotions helps in understanding more and managing stressful situations better.
Reflection practices can be inclusive and expansive. Besides silent contemplation and introspection while learning from mistakes, participating in a conversation, be it Group discussions, workshops can be an engaging practice for Self awareness.. They are also opportunities for self growth.
Are you listening to your body and what it is telling you?
Do you find time to invest in yourself?
Are you on your priority list?
Do you have a habit of putting others happiness and health ahead of yours?
Do you accommodate for everything and are perhaps less assertive and over tolerant?
The truth is you can never give from an empty vessel. Creating a beautiful life that you love is as important as for others. If there are gaps in your vessel of life,what will you share from?
Creating your own well-being in life is a responsiblity to yourself.
Ultimately it’s all about finding time to find yourself your way!
Today I am sharing a thought Provoker. This came as a social media forward. But it was thought worthy and I do have a few questions as well.
Speaking of relationships, have you felt drained out beyond compare?
Instead of feeling energetic after an interaction or a conversation, have you felt like when will it end?
When was the last time you felt a little too empty?
Do you stop giving, if you feel it is an unequal relationship and you feel pulled from all directions or due to habit or situation you continue to give as you do?
If you are a giver by nature, can you actually stop yourself at all?
It’s truly important to acknowledge your emotions and feelings. It helps to know your energy shifts.
A Stringed Existence
There is a lot of inextricable strings of emotions linked to relationships but if you are constantly feeling drained out and exhausted when with certain people, perhaps you need to check if you have over invested yourself. Be it in career as a workaholic or in family where your sense of self is feeling lost.
You have one life & it is your life…
Pause and take a breather and set yourself back on course.
While there are many kinds of people you meet. And it is really OK to be extra helpful, and give the best you can. In fact it energizes abundance to manifest in life… For when you give from a spring well of kindness, nature sets in motion, a share of kindness back to you in its own time.
Yet like many are energy givers, there are many energy takers. Often unknown to themselves they behave in a way that saps anothers energy when they are around you.
Do remember who ever you are with… Giving more or less will not have value. For less is not fulfilling and more is just excess and will never be utilised. But will certainly tilt your balance for sure.
In your actions too, exercise this wisdom and you will find yourself in a good space.
And most of all…
Choose your tribe well. It makes all the difference.
Savvy Raj 
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