When in friendships two is company and three a crowd…
A small story.
Recently my young cousin shifted to my city to work. She had found a suitable job and her first step into settling herself was to find a place to stay on her own.
Although she stayed with us initially, being independent by nature we knew soon that she would be keen on finding her own place.
Understanding her need for an independent living we helped her scout one hostel which seemed all fine except the time and cost of a commute as it was a little distant from her place of work.
Soon she realised she was wasting money and time. She started networking with her colleagues and she landed an offer from one.
The girl in question was staying in a tiny non-descript place barely enough for two but pretty much close to her office. She asked her to move in with her and share her rent and other expenses. Realising the convenience of proximity to her place of work as she could simply walk to the office and the fact that the rent was truly affordable my cousin agreed to shift in.
Being a very careful spender my cousin was all excited. Moreover, she was elated in fact that she happily shared how good it would be, to not have to spend so much time travelling as well.
We too were glad she found a place near her workplace and decided to help her shift on a suitable day which happened to be yesterday.
Now life is known to be unpredictable.
Between the then and now many things can change. Such is the nature of life and living.
But a young girl coming away from home and hearth with a suitcase full of dreams in her heart would hardly be the one to realise the vagaries of life and living.
It so happened, that after all the eagerness of finally making it to the new home, a rude shock awaited her. The girl who had offered her to share the flat brought in one more colleague to stay. But it wasn’t never discussed mutually between. This gave rise to a lot of tension between them. My cousin felt cheated that there was no transparency in the dealing. Moreover, there was no space for the third person in an already cramped room.
Now my cousin was braving tears trying to tell me the whole incident this morning. Although I don’t suspect her tenacity to tackle the situation one bit and find a solution to her problem I couldn’t help but feel sorry for her. My heart reaches out to her as I write this. I wish her God speed in finding the right home for herself in this city.
A few reflections on Life and living
So much about trust issues here
To trust another is about believing
But a belief that must be valued by the one you place your trust one.
Think twice to read the signs and place your trust in people carefully.
- (My cousin decided to vacate her hostel even before the actual date of vacating to save her travel expenses).Sometimes not doing things on an impulse but waiting it out by observing the developing situation and then taking move helps.
- Life can be challenging moment to moment. So much for erratic development and behaviour changes in a person. But people are different by default and sooner one acknowledge this the better it is.
- A great lesson in being careful. So before taking things and people for granted no matter how close it makes sense to set certain things straight on record.
- Living independently at a young age can certainly be challenging but the wisdom is to sense the challenges as they come and be strengthened by it.
- When I shared this story, there were three new perspectives.
- Firstly the introduction as the centre line becomes a connecting line that gives shape to the 2 semicircles.
- Secondly, while 2 dots can only make a line the 3rd one can give it varied forms.
- Thirdly any duel cannot be judged without a 3rd referee.
- The entry of a 3rd person ( child) makes the family complete.
- All is truly in a shift of perspectives. The 3rd is a PowerPoint. It can balance or tilt the whole to one side.
As for my cousin, it is a valuable lesson learnt for a lifetime in hindsight. And I believe she is only stronger by it. Wishing her the best of luck!
Have you had any experience where the third person has changed the course of your friendship?