Savvy Raj

Live Life Lovingly!

Home truths

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Sharing a thought provoking forward that came my way…

I was 9.

There was pensive silence at home when days after the happy news of my dads promotion in a nationalised bank he received orders of transfer as a branch manager to a small village in Rajasthan. We were then in Ahmedabad and this also happened to be the time he was building a house next to our ancestral home.

I had seen him struggle with numbers, adding, subtracting, circling staff loans and FDs he would break and putting a question mark against a few empty spaces in the total.

A house is usually a one time in one life effort so everyone goes all out and makes that one room more than what can be afforded and still finds one room less than what was needed. Javed Akhtar puts it beautifully बम्बई में बस एक ही गम हैं, हरेकके पास एक कमरा कम हे.

The joint family home housed 14 of us from age 5 to 95 years.

Today I watch both the houses abandoned and nature taking over the garden my mother used to tend for hours every day. The Jamun, the Drumstick a few Ashok, Neem and Peepal have survived but all beauty is both transient and fragile and the law of entropy powerful. The lovely flowers of myriad colours are all gone. I wonder what happened to the peacock family that came everyday and ate from my moms hand. The Bulbul, the sparrows, the parrots, spotted flycatchers, Cuckoos, a huge troop of monkeys that once in a month would upset the order of the place.

Once people leave, a home becomes a house. Initially I didn’t feel like selling and now I don’t feel like going. Time has taken away ten of its fourteen occupants.

I walk around our neighbourhood and see similar fate of so many homes once full of life now replaced or lying still.

Why do we stretch and stress to build houses? In most cases our kids won’t need it or worse fight over it. What is this human folly of attempting permanent ownership in a leased life with an uncertain tenure given by a landlord whose terms are non-negotiable and there is no court of appeal.

One day all we have built with love and EMIs will either be demolished, fought over, sold or lie in ruins.

Every time I fill a form that asks for ‘permanent address’ I smile at human folly.

There is a Zen story that an old monk walked into a Kings palace demanding he wanted to spend the night in this Inn and the guards told him, “What Inn, can’t you see its a palace?”. The monk said “I came here a few decades back someone was staying there, a few years later someone else took the throne from him, then someone else. Any place where the occupant keeps changing is an Inn.”

George Carlin says “house is just a place where you keep your stuff as you go out and get more stuff”.

As houses get bigger families get smaller. When the house has occupants, we desire privacy and when the nest empties we crave for company.

Birds and Animals must be laughing at us humans that give up living in order to build their dream home and in the end depart the Inn they mistook as a permanent residence.

Nice post……thought of sharing…..

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Author: Savvy Raj

Dance Educator, Writer, Artist, Designer, Wellness Mentor & Consultant

7 thoughts on “Home truths

  1. katiemiafrederick's avatar

    SMiLes Dear Savvy Homes With Windows With no Souls
    True During Most of my Working Decades That is What

    The Homes Felt Like Then Around my Neighborhood
    Block as When i Walked it Only the Moonlight and

    Stars Lit the Homes Up With of Course Street
    Lights And All the Lights inside Yet Still the

    Human LiGHT MiSSinG For me as

    No Connections With the Hearts

    Spirits Souls Then Inside the Brick
    And Mortar And Glass Windows True

    Actually it Took the Pandemic to Come

    For me to Dance Walk the Neighborhood

    Slowly in the Morning And Gradually i Got to
    Say Hello And Wave to Almost Every Neighbor
    Around The Block of About 50 Homes Now The Windows

    Have Souls Warm Personalities of Humanity to Feel and Sense

    As i Still Dance Walk the Neighborhood Block At Night Too With

    my Wife And Sister And Now it Actually Feels Like i Live in A Village

    of About 150 People Just about the ‘Dunbar Number’ of Human Beings

    Social Science Says Humans Will Be Comfortable With to Get to Really Know

    And Feel and
    Sense Their
    Humanity

    All Those Decades
    i Wondered if Somehow
    i Would ever Get to Know my Neighbors
    True it Took A Hurricane Before And Neighbors
    Feeding Each Other Just To Get to Know the Neighbors
    A Few Houses Down From me True it Was Up to me True

    It Was Always Up to me And Not Just my Neighborhood
    in a Dance and Song of Life it is so Easy to Make Warm

    Connections With Almost Every Stranger Yet of Course
    18,566 Miles of Public Dance in A Decade Makes An

    Excellent Icebreaker to Get the Conversation Started
    Among Around 600,000 Folks in my Metro Area True

    Hehe That’s A lot More People than the Dunbar Number
    Yet At Least There are No Empty Rooms in All the Hotel Souls
    i Meet and Greet It’s Fun to Be A FRiEnD to Every Stranger With SMiLes

    Or Just a Free
    Dance Lighting
    SMiLes Up All
    The Places i Float
    on Terrestrial Dance Land Free..:)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Savvy Raj's avatar

      You are amazing my dear friend. God bless you.

      Liked by 1 person

      • katiemiafrederick's avatar

        Thank You Dear
        Savvy You Are
        Amazing to me
        Too And God Bless

        You True With SMiles

        A Recent Study in The
        United States Showed
        The Older We Get Now
        iN Generational Ways The

        Greater Wellbeing Measures
        Are Yes Amazingly Peaking in
        Every Element Studied After

        The Age of 77 What ‘They’
        Name As The ‘Silent Generation’

        A Greatest Factor Leading to
        This Success Is Retiring From
        Making Money And Entering

        Into the
        “Business”
        Of Putting Other
        Humans First Namaste

        i Do Agree With SMiles
        And The Good News
        Of Greater Well Being
        Still To Come With Advancing

        Soul
        Far
        Beyond
        Only “NumBeRS”

        Again
        With
        SMiles☺️🙏🏝

        Liked by 1 person

  2. wktucker53's avatar

    I never thought about a house like this, but it makes a lot of sense. It’s only important to the people who built it and make it a home. Those that come after couldn’t care less.

    Liked by 1 person

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